My name is, or was, John Landar. But that was a few lifetimes ago. It began... when I went over to a friend's house for dinner. I was helping prepare the meal by microwaving some leftovers. The microwave, so it would seem, had another idea other than heating food. When I hit the start button, the blasted thing went postal on my unsuspecting butt. It sparked, it spit, and then, just went boom! When I awoke, i found myself laying on my back looking at an octagonal moon (that's right, I said octagonal!). I also noticed that I didn't recognize any of the contellations. When I mustered the energy, I sat up to take in my surroundings. You can imagine my surprise when I found myself sitting on orange grass (that's right, I said orange!). I thought to myself, 'Landar, ol boy, either we're not in Kansas anymore, or you had way too much fun in the early eighties.' I also had the nagging feling that I had forgotten something. When I stood up, I noticed a rectangular speck in the distance. That nagging feeling made me thing I had forgotten something towards the speck. Looking in all directions, i noticed large shapes looming in most directions, but they seemed farther away than the speck. Hoping to find the nearest explanation, I made off toward the speck. I walked for what I estimated to be ten miles, and found the speck to be a mobile home the size of a tractor trailer.

Not being one to just walk into someone else's property, I knocked on the door. No answer. My typical luck held true. I then tried the door and found it locked. I picked the lock, opened the door and announced myself. Again, I received no reply.