No real names, nothing. All you need is the skating. Maybe the tape. But she existed. Still exists. I promise. Not dead. Not murdered. Not suicided. No excuses. Just not of a mind to come back skating. Not crazy. Not anything. Just plain normal. And not coming back. No game-playing, no nothing. I promise.

Cecile always was a nutty one. I can literally think of no one else who would have said that to Dorothy. Not the American favorite. Not in the Olympic season. Not in front of three judges. But she believed in getting your confrontations over with. Facing things down. When she wasn't terrified.

And it's that terror that brought that "dying swan" quality to her skating. There was always that wobble. That little tremble. Most noticeable in "At Seventeen" film. But always there. Perfect technique. But that wobble.

Where did the terror come from? Seeing what the world could do. Nobody would stand up for her in 1975-76. She knew she sould have been on the team. I think she lost all trust in adults at that point. She skated for herself. And Jonathan. She knew she'd skate with him someday. It was inevitable. But those crowds....ready to turn on her for not being like Dorothy....I realistically think she was lost to the skating establishment that day. One brave stand and it was over. She never cried about it. Never. That I know of.

So she kept skating for herself. I really think she knew the federations wouldn't accept her. There was just no way. She just wanted to see if she could do it: Prove herself in some kind of public arena. I think she was scared of cameras in the end. They'd destroyed Dorothy Hamill; they would destroy her. That's how she saw it. And she ran. Nobody messed with her skating. Skating was her life. Nobody found any "5 to 10% off edges" on her. Ever. She was terrified of the federation. She would skate privately, but at the end they couldn't even get videocameras on her. No way.

She and Jonathan really skated for themselves. They knew audiences would never appreciate them on a large scale. Look at how audiences accepted Kitty and Peter Carruthers. The Kitties were entirely different. Can you imagine audiences accepting the Kitties? Can you imagine the same audience that accepts Michelle Kwan accepting the Kitties? No way. Let the Kitties live on tape for a small audience. They're too different.

Those Landings


Having an epidemic of landing too close to the boards, are we, ladies?

Giving Dick Button heart failure?

Don't tell me Cecile tape isn't out there. Don't go into the boards. Just miss them.

You'll know you have it when your blade digs in by itself. 1/4 inch from the board.

You'll get it. Don't worry.