There are four of them. They have been known for years. Are you at the top of your discipline?

• If you are a woman, do you have the edges for "Christie Lee?"
• If you are a man, do you have the edges for "The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades?"
• If you are a pair, do you have the edges for "Jack and Diane?"
• If you are a dance team, do you have the edges for "Mickey?"

These songs simultaneously test your abilities and extend them. I am told there was a similar set of test songs in the 1940's and 1950's. There is no point in mentioning them now. Oh all right....I have been biting my tongue on some other stuff, haven't I? Okay. But be prepared to be cussed out by judges.

• Women's -- A String of Pearls
• Men's -- Sing, Sing, Sing
• Pairs -- In the Mood
• Dance -- TD Boogie

And you wonder why I'm pushing the jive so hard....

How to use them: Don't let anyone do your choreography for you. Skate in what you're comfortable in. Do exactly what the music tells you to.

And be prepared to find out some very uncomfortable things about yourself.

I will not tell you who had a major disagreement with their coach and basically let their ITS song coach them to a gold medal. (By the way you were skating, I could about name the stereo components you'd listened to the song on to get it embedded in your brain/s.)

Current ITS stats:

• Women's -- Two ladies can survive a performance of "Christie Lee." Tara and Surya.
• Men's -- Elvis. What did you expect me to say?
• Pairs -- Shen and Zhao. Almost....
• Dance -- Pasha, your edges are off. Angelika, your attitude's wrong. Any takers?

SInce you've got such a bug up your behind about eliminating figures, how about substituting these songs instead? 50% of the total score. I could even handle 60. You learn the same things about your skaters: Poise, discipline, and line.

I hereby propose a set of ITS songs for the period not covered by these two sets: The 60's and 70's. There was never any agreement. So, after a few arguments, I feel safe in proposing the following:

• Women's -- It Must Be Him (Vikki Carr)
• Men's -- And When I Die (Blood, Sweat and Tears)
• Pairs -- Back in the USSR (Beatles)
• Dance -- Revolution #9 (Beatles)

Any disagreements may be emailed to me, complete with edge testing data from a competent subject or two. Aside from the usual grumblings, I can see only one real possible problem: "And When I Die." Yes, yes, yes, I know. Anybody got better edge film on another song? And no, I don't want to hear about "Band on the Run." "Tubular Bells." "Autobahn." "One Bad Apple." Sorry.

Any other ideas out there? I don't like that song either.

Where are the songs coming from for the future? Of course, keep your ears peeled for the international top 40. (20 misses some and 100 catches too much crap.) (Ideas?) Watch the Spice Girls. The Chapel Hill scene. Anyplace else. If the skaters like to wear black or brightly-colored outfits for the song, try it. If they get all mushy inside, try it. Just keep watching.

They'll pop up. They always do.

My current "experimentals" list:

• Women's -- Wannabe.
• Men's -- Karma Chameleon.
• Pairs -- Golgotha Tenement Blues (Machines of Loving Grace).
• Dance -- Love Shack.

I know "Karma Chameleon" is a little retro. Just a little. Nothing else holds. I don't think "That Thing You Do" is a men's song. I have no other current possibilities.

("Candle 1997" has too many bad spots. "Paradise City?" You have honestly got to be kidding.)

So what?