We were going to so many meeting each week, and Joe was recording most of them, that we decided to move closer to everyone. We began looking and praying; we found a senior building, really close-in to Langley...and it seemed quiet. So, after 5 years at The Orchard, we moved: they gave us an excellent reference.

Because Joe was an elder, he tried to minister this new word: the gospel of the kingdom (gospel of grace and gospel of peace with God). Some times he would take a paper with Scripture about God's love for us and tape it to the wall just behind him...while he ministered. He did this to get their attention, and when he had it...he ministered that love. Many said "Amen", and many talked with him after about it. He felt a responsibility to spread God's love around to the people. Each time he sat back down, one of the "other" elders got up and ministered the law...neutralizing what he had said. This went on for many weeks.

One got up and ministered that "...Jesus saved Himself; now we have to do the same." Joe was recording, as usual; and I was shaking my head, NO...but, still this man went on ministering. After, we asked to borrow the tape, but someone had already asked for it. We did receive the tape, after they were finished hearing it. We had to be sure that we had heard correctly, when the word was ministered: and, we had heard correctly. We spoke with others who were present, and they borrowed the tape: still, they didn't see anything wrong with the statement.

We invited that person over to our house, to talk about it. That one was so far off Scripture, that it was unbelievable. We spoke with that one, a few other times - but could not resolve our differences. About this time, it was announced that meetings would no longer be recorded.

My 'belief system' was being torn to shreds: I was wrestling with the old messages about the "law" and the new message about God's "grace". The end of June I became extremely nervous and had a nervous breakdown. I couldn't drive or do anything...I had extreme anxiety.

What didn't help matters at all, was the fact that I had been using a salt substitute and it messed up my thyroid medication. At the time, I thought maybe the Lord had healed me and I didn't need the medication any longer. My doctor used real wisdom and told me not to change dosage...that they would give me a total of 3 blood tests and see how the thyroid level was going. Each time (over the next few weeks) I was tested, the level improved...so the dosage was correct; it was the salt substitute that messed me up. And, that is sub-stantiated by the medical profession, now.

Joe took a few days of his holiday time and we thought we would drive towards Kelowna, where it was supposed to be hot all the time...we had been having a lot of rain and were hoping to tent. We bought a huge tarp, with the hope that we could stay through any kind of weather. The weather was so miserable that we packed up in the rain and came back home. We sold all our camping equipment; and just about that time, the weather cleared-up and our summers have been very dry and nice!

Still the extreme nervousness plagued me. I couldn't go to any church meetings...they upset me a great deal. I had Joe get me some stress-management books from the library; they helped. I told our family doctor and he asked why I didn't read some Christian stress-management books...I didn't know there was such a thing.

I asked the Lord to show me what ones to get; and came home with "Worry Free Living", by Minirth Meire Clinic...it was excellent. The bookstore also recommended a praise tape by the Maranatha singers...it helped me a lot to get those Scriptures into me; and they came out, when I really needed them.

In a few weeks I went to another Sunday meeting. We have been meeting in a small community hall and there was no padding at all in the building...all hardwood floors and stacking-type chairs. The noise really bothered me, to the point where I was using ear plugs during the praise. Besides 3 - 4 guitars, there was a trumpet and a saxophone; it was too much noise in such a small hall. I tried to hang in there; but got all unnerved. I felt like I was slipping back into the nervous breakdown, so I stayed home a few weeks.

We had two weeks holiday time and drove up to Taylor, to spend time with Mike, Julie, Corey and Kevin. They borrowed Julie's parents' motor home and we stayed in it...behind the apartment they were renting (they were building their new house). The weather was so terribly hot that we only stayed for 4-5 days. The heat really bothers me...with the medicine that I have to take.

We were hoping to swing over to Calgary, to see our friends, who had since left local assembly..so we headed in that direction. On the way, there was a dark cloud that followed us...it caught up with us and we were stuck in the car throught a hail storm, for half an hour. It did cool it off real good for us...and we continued on to Calgary and had an excellent time with our friends.

We got to drive through Banff National Park...it was beautiful. We had stopped in the middle of one of the parks, to eat lunch...while walking along a babbling brook, I fell into it! Three fingers on my right hand were bent all out of shape...I knew they were broken. And, I also knew the Lord was my Healer...so I called forth His Word; the fingers straightened right out, before our eyes: it was awesome!

It was good that we cut our holiday short, because the man who was to record the convention (local assembly) got sick and Joe ended up doing the recording. People from most of the farms up North came to the convention. Every word was discouraging, and then two elders got up with words of encouragement...words about God's grace...they saved the day. I spoke with them later, about it, and told them what we had been going through. The lady (who was "The Sound Of Music Lady") started to cry and told me she loved me; and she was glad she was able to help.

I went back to a Sunday meeting, with a resolve to hang in there... Joe tried to minister his word of God's love...and the "other" elders got up and slapped us back under the law. I went home a nervous wreck again. Then, I told Joe I had given it my best shot, that I love him very much, but that I can't go anymore. He left me free to do whatever I had to do. He said he didn't feel a release from the Lord, yet, and had to wait for it.

September 1993...I spoke with our family doctor about looking for a church - he knows the problems I have had. He recommended where he goes... a branch of the Alliance Church - they meet at Ferndale Recreation Center. I talked with the pastor and didn't feel that is what I am looking for.

End of September, 1993 I have been praying about just where to go to church - and felt to check out a White Rock Christian Fellowship (our daughter Rose had gone there for a year, before she got married and moved to Toronto). They gave me a packet all about what they believe; it sounds good. In the packet, it mentioned that they have "planting" churches; one of which is Ferndale Christian Fellowship...meeting in the old Elk's Hall.

I called the pastor, but he was away and I didn't leave a message. Then I found the fellowship listed in the Yellow Pages, under Christian Church. I found the office and spoke with a man named Steve (I believe). It sounded really good...a lot of talk about the grace of God and establishing a relationship with Jesus Christ; I was impressed. He said they have been meeting for a year, and that they feel their ministry is to bind up the broken-hearted; he is one of three men on a counseling team. The people in the fellowship bring a sandwich with them and they all eat together, every Sunday; there are about 60 people who attend.

End of September, 1993 I called our daughter Rose, in Toronto. I wanted to know her opinion of White Rock Christian Fellowship (she had gone there for a year, before she married and moved to Toronto). She wanted to know just where I was "coming from", before she said much. I told her that I was all done with going to the meetings, and all the reasons why... Then she felt free to speak her mind; she said she had waited all these years and not said anything, because she wanted the Lord to show me (and us) just what was wrong with what is ministered. We had an excellent talk, and she ended with saying that White Rock Christian Fellowship is a good church.

Joe said for me to wait another week, and he would go with me - so I did, and he spoke with the elders the following day; about leaving the group. Later, we talked to the elders about returning the money we had given to the "Building Fund" - saying we could no longer be part of what they were building.

Nov. 9, 1993 We received a letter and cheque for $1,000 from the eldership of the local assembly (Endtime). (We gave a cheque for $800 and cash amounting to $50, towards the building fund. The rest was for all that we had done for them, through the years.

***A lot of letters went back and forth; a lot was said that never should have been said. Now, I am beginning to line my life up with scripture - knowing that the Lord said everything, for my benefit. All these principals of His are for my good...as a consequence, I have repented and erased all that I wrote, that was not consistent with His will and purpose for my life. (January 14, 1996)***