Right now we seem to be going through a time of "bonding".

We went through a "bonding" time (of the BODY), when we were first married; perhaps it was preparation of the "gearing-up" we had to go through, with a new marriage and family ahead of us.

Now, it seems to be a time of a "bonding" of the SOUL (mind, will, and emotions); perhaps it is also preparation for a "gearing-down" that comes with empty nest, retirement, and old age.

There seems to be a deeper understanding of our weaknesses and a tolerance coming forth...a mellowing...a love that is there, unconditionally. A kind of "knowing" that we will "be there" for each other, as we slow down; a comfort to each other. It gives me a warm feeling...knowing that I am loved and will continue to be loved, even though I may not look and act as lovely as I have in times past. In spite of my failings...I am still loved. Joe has been a good example - with the Lord's help, I can help him...like he has helped me.

I'm seeing that family is "all important". Our family has been so torn apart, because of poor choices that we made. Our intentions were always the best...but we were extremely naive and let everybody and anybody dictate (run our lives) - that was our choice (we didn't seem to know that it was just that, our choice). We have been building on "relationships" for the last two years...we have made some real progress.

All of our grown children are at places in their lives, where they are getting established...jobs, marriages, their own children - so, they are busy. For the most part, they make time for us...they, too, want a good relationship with us. I'm aware that, for us, our time is winding-down...we have to make the most of the remaining time we have left.

I guess I have to realize that we, too, are human and we did the best we knew how to...and, we have to leave the rest to God (He alone is perfect). We want our children to accept us, in this finite way...and we have to accept ourselves and our finite ways.

There is also, a SPIRITual "bonding" that has been going on, since we were "born again" (in 1969). It's this "bonding" that enables us to "bond" in all other areas...because this "bonding" is a product of Father's agape LOVE. He has made provision for us - in BODY, SOUL, and SPIRIT.

I believe this is the journey that we start out on - in search of a "city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God": those who "search for Him, with their whole heart...will be found of Him". It happened to me (it is part of my experience, in searching for the truth (the "truth" is a person...the Lord Jesus Christ - He said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life...").

The way was always so simple...I could have seen it, if I had remained "like a little child", but I allowed "man" to put their own particular "thumb-screws" on me...and I became ensnared with them - God never intended for that to happen. I feel that He has finally shown me the futility of listening to "man". True Christianity is real (God reaching down to man, once and forever, when He became man and dwelt among us "Emmanuel"). Religion is man-made (man trying to reach up to God): always self-effort...self-righteousness.

I feel that I have reached that "REST" the Bible speaks of..."There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God. For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his. Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief." (Hebrews 4: 9-11)

I, originally started this autobiography so that there would be something (ROOTS) for my children; it turned out to be a great help for me...to find myself. What I have learned, thus far, is that RELATIONSHIPS are all important...starting with our relationship with God, our spouse, our children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren (to as many as be afar off); our friends, our neighbors...all of God's creation. Father, please help me to get my priorities straight.

I have, recently, discovered how much God loves me, unconditionally; when I repent, how He forgives me and forgets all that I have turned over to Him. I repent of saying I love, I forgive, and then not forgetting. So many years ago, my Mom saw all that in me and said, "Lorraine, pray for them and say, `Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.'" Mom was more "deep" than I realized: she read her Bible all the time; had a relationship with the Lord, and with those around her. I am certain she is with the Lord, now. I look forward to that glorious day, when we shall see our Lord and all who have gone "Home" to be with Him.

From this day, forward, I shall (by His grace) forget what is behind: I cannot go forward, with my eyes on the rear-view mirror. If there is one thing I could leave my children - it would be to look "FORWARD".

By His GRACE, I shall!