THE Ph.D. FINAL EXAM..
by, Dinesh Kumar
 
                           THE Ph.D. FINAL EXAM
 
 Note: Anyone who has taken a Ph.D. Final Exam will surely remember these
 very standard kinds of questions.
 
 INSTRUCTIONS:
 
       Read each question carefully.  Answer all questions.  Time limit:
       4 hours.  Begin immediately.
 
 HISTORY:
 
       Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present
       day,concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social,
       political, economic, religious, and philosophica impact on Europe,
       Asia, America, and Africa.  Be brief, concise, and specific.
 
 MEDICINE:
 
       You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze and a
       bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix.  Do not suture until your
       work has been inspected.  You have fifteen minutes.
 
 PUBLIC SPEAKING:
 
       2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom.  Calm
       them.  You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.
 
 BIOLOGY:
 
       Create life.  Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture
       if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with
       special attention to it probable effect on the English
       parliamentary system.  Prove your thesis.
 
 MUSIC:
 
       Write a piano concerto.  Orchestrate and perform it with a flute
       and drum.  You will find a piano under your seat.
 
 PSYCHOLOGY:
 
       Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional
       stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed  frustrations of
       each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Rameses II,
       Gregory of Nicia, Hammurabi.  Support your evaluation with
       quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It
       is not necessary to translate.
 
 SOCIOLOGY:
 
       Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end
       of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.
 
 ENGINEERING:
 
       The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on
       your desk.  You will also find an instruction manual, printed in
       Swahili.  In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to
       the room.  Take whatever action you feel appropriate.  Be prepared
       to justify your decision.
 
 ECONOMICS:
 
       Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt.  Trace
       the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism,
       the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a
       method from all possible points of view, as demonstrated in your
       answer to the last question.
 
 POLITICAL SCIENCE:
 
       There is a red telephone on the desk beside you.  Start World War
       III.  Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.
 
 EPISTEMOLOGY:
 
       Take a position for or against truth.  Prove the validity of your
       stand.
 
 PHYSICS:
 
       Explain the nature of matter.  Include in your answer an
       evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on
       science.
 
 PHILOSOPHY:
 
       Sketch the development of human thought, estimate its
       significance.  Compare with the development of any other kind of
       thought.
 
 GENERAL KNOWLEDGE:
 
       Describe in detail.  Be objective and specific.
 

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