Big Family Poetry
WISHING FAR FAR AWAY
WHY OH WHY....
DOES IT HAVE TO BE ME.
I LOOK AT THE CEILING AND COUNT TO THREE.
WISH I COULD BE IN A TREE WAY OUT FAR.
NOWHERE NEAR, NO PLACE PARTICULAR.
SOMEWHERE FROM THE CITY SOUND AND LIGHT,
AWAY FROM THE DANGER OF ONE DAY
I MIGHT DIE BY A GUN,
BY A CAR, A PLANE CRSHING ON MY HEAD.
IT WOULDN'T EVER HAPPEN,
FOR I WOULD BE FAR FAR AWAY,
FAR FAR AWAY.
NO DISEASES, NO FIGHTS,
HOPO-PO'S SCREAMING AND SHOUTING IN FRIGHT.
NO WHINING, NO CRYING,
NO BICYCLISTS DYING
AND STREET LIGHTS SHINING,
HITS FROM A CAR,
SOMEONE CRYING, BUT NO ONE CARES.
FAR FAR AWAY...
IS WHERE I WISH I COULD BE.
NEVER, NEVER WILL I SEE
THIS WISH OR THE TREE.
I GO ON AND I GO ON.
MY TEMPER IS LIKE
A HUGE CITY SIZED BOMB,
IT TICKS AND IT TICKS,
I'M HOPING IT WILL NEVER QUIT.
IT DOES, IT DOES,
THEN I'M FILLED WITH REGRET,
THATS WHY I COUNT TO 3 AND WISH
I WAS IN A BIG TREE FAR FAR AWAY.
NEVER TO SEE ANOTHER CITY,
SUNNY DAY, RAIN OR SHINE,
SNOW OR SLEET.
NOW YOU KNOW WHY MY WISHES
ARE FAR FAR AWAY
AND STILL INCOMPLETE.
BUT STILL WITH THE ONE I LOVE.
JEREMY JONES
__________________________________
Impasse
there you sit in your silence
here i sit in mine
were as much alone together
as if we were apart
i long to reach out and touch you
to hold you in my arms
instead, i remain sitting quietly
for my fear of rejection is strong
wouldn't it be much easier
if we could read each other's mind
what were feeling inside
but that, of course, isn't possible
so now what can we do
to break down this wall between us
and let each other through
MARITA MYLES
_________________________________
Untitled
love me without fear
trust me without questioning
need me without demand
accept me without restrictions
for a love so free will
never fly away
AMBER JOSEPH
_______________________________
Only Mommies Know
"Mommy," I can hear him say.
This wonder I call son
"You know those pretty flowers?
I went out and picked you one."
and I look down at this little man
This miracle of mine
and there clutched in his tiny hand
is a wilted dandelion
as he seeks a sigh of pleasure
I try to let it show
for the love I feel at times like this
only mommies know
UNKNOWN
______________________________
Withdrawn Love
I've let my guard down
one to many times
everytime I love someone
they get taken away
never again, will I love so easy
and let people know how I feel
for love has done nothing
but left me alone, crying
I'll never wear my heart
on my sleeve again
nobody will touch it
because when they do
it gets broken, and I can't
cry anymore
so don't touch me
or expect me to feel
like touching you
because there is no love
left to give
AMBER JOSEPH 8-5-96
_______________________________
DEANA
SHE SITS ALONE IN HER ROOM
BRUISED, BLEEDING,AND ALONE
SHE THINKS TO HERSELF
"WHY? WHY DID HE DO THIS?"
ALL SHE WANTED WAS TO BE WITH HER FRIENDS
TO BE WITH PEOPLE WHO LOVE HER
AND WILL NEVER HURT HER
SHE WANTS TO BE LOVED
AND NOT GET HURT ANYMORE
BUT NOBODY WILL LISTEN
SO SHE JUST SITS ALONE
AMBER JOSEPH
____________________________
WATCHING
twinkle twinkle little star
I wonder which one you are
watching me from the heavens
smiling with love
and scorning with fear
when you think I'll never
twinkle twinkle little star
can you tell if the love I feel
is the same as yours
is it wrong or right
to cry at night
for death took you from my side
sometimes I feel you near
and I fear I will be at your side
before my time
twinkle twinkle little star
watching from above with love
I wonder which one you are
VALERIE ENTWISTLE 7-16-96
_____________________________
LOVE THAT NEVER WAS
as night falls
he comes to me
he makes me feel loved and wanted
I know he only wants my body
and doesn't really love me
but he comes and I let him take me
into his arms. I don't run away
when he kisses me
I want to melt and become one with him
but reality always hits me
and I remember that he doesn't love me
and as long as he doesn't
I will never be one with him
and he wil;l never be one with me
so I turn away and he leaves
but I will never forget
that when night falls again
he will return
AMBER JOSEPH
____________________________
FEAR
I though I was fear
because I didn't fear
for fear can only fear itself
but since people fear
I was not fear
because fear doesn't fear
anything but itself
and I feared everything
for I am human
and humans can't help
but fear
so therefore
I am not fear
and never can be
even though people
fear me
I fear them
and not only myself
for fear can only fear itself
AMBER JOSEPH
_______________________________
HIM
When I go to sleep, I think about him
When I wake, he is still there
I will never forget his sweet lips and warm caress
I will feel him again someday
The love I have will be there always
not a day goes by that I don't think about him
Even though I have a new love
the love for him is still in my heart
it will be with me until death do us part
AMBER JOSEPH
______________________________
TRUE LOVE
TRUE LOVE IS EVERLASTING,
ONCE YOU FALL, YOU DON'T GET UP
IT IS A DEEP DARK HOLE THAT GOES FOREVER
THERE IS ROOM FOR MORE THAN ONE LOVE
IT WILL LAST FOREVER
THE LONGER YOU LIVE, THE FARTHER YOU FALL
SO LOVE IS A CIRCLE WITH NO END
NO BEGINNING
YOU ARE NEVER IN OR OUT OF LOVE
YOU ARE JUST THERE
AMBER JOSEPH
______________________________
GROW UP
IF THIS IS THE GREATEST TIMES OF MY LIFE
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE WORST ARE
JUST TO BE A KID, ADULTS SAY
BUT WHEN YOU ARE, THEY SAY GROW UP
SO YOU TRY AND PLEASE THEM
BUT IN THE PROCESS
YOUR LIFE BECOMES HELL
YOU LOCK YOURSELF AWAY AND
THEY WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS WRONG
YOU SAY NOTHING AND THEY CALL YOU A LIAR
SO WHAT DO YOU DO?
NOBODY KNOWS WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU
....EXCEPT YOU
SO FOLLOW YOUR HEART
AND DON'T LET PEOPLE
TELL YOU WHAT TO DO
AMBER JOSEPH
______________________________
FACES
AS I LOOK AROUND AT ALL THE FACES
I WONDER WHAT ARE PEOPLE THINKING
FRIENDS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN
PARENTS THINK THEY KNOW WHATS BEST
ENEMIES WANT YOU DEAD AND
THE FUZZ JUST MESS WITH YOU
FRIENDS ARE THINKING LETS GO PARTY,
HAVE FUN, AND ENJOY LIFE
PARENTS ARE THINKING,
LETS GROUND THEM,
TELL THEM WHAT TO DO
AND MAKE THEIR LIFE HELL
ENEMIES ARE THINKING,
LETS GANG THEM,
TAKE THEIR MONEY AND
LEAVE THEM FOR DEAD
THE FUZZ ARE THINKING,
LETS CATCH THEM,
TAKE THEM TO COURT
AND PUT THEM IN JAIL
ANYWAY YOU LOOK AT IT,
YOU GET MESSED WITH
AMBER JOSEPH
______________________________
GARDEN OF LOVE
love is like a garden,
full of surprises
it changes at night,
when the sun is down
and the moon is out
with stars of passion burning bright
but just like a garden
love will wait
the seeds have to be replanted
even though it hurts
it has to happen or
love will die and never live
in your soul
sometimes the soul will stay fresh
but more often than not,
the love fails
and you move on
looking for happiness
AMBER JOSEPH
______________________________
LIFETIME
WHO AM I? AS FAR AS I CAN SEE
I AM NOTHING BUT A NAMELESS FACE
PEOPLE TELL ME I'M A LONER
AND WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING
SOMETIMES I BELIEVE THESE THINGS
AND SOMETIMES I DON'T
PEOPLE ALSO SAY I AM BEAUTIFUL,
THAT I AM STRONG, AND SMART
IT IS STRANGE HOW THE BAD STUFF
IS EASIER TO BELIEVE
I THOUGHT I WOULD ALWAYS
HAVE PEOPLE TO LOVE ME
BUT I DON'T EVEN
HAVE A PLACE TO CALL HOME
THE ONLY PERSON
WHO LOVES ME I MIGHT LOSE
SIMPLY BECAUSE
OF MY OWN STUPIDITY
WHEN I AM DOWN,
HE LIFTS ME UP
WHY CAN'T LIFE BE FUN?
WHY CAN'T ADULTS LET ME
MAKE MY OWN MISTAKES
INSTEAD THEY TELL ME WHAT TO DO.
I DON'T LIKE BEING TOLD
WHAT TO DO
NOBODY DOES
SO WE DO WHAT WE ARE TOLD
NOT TO DO JUST TO BE FREE
WE KILL OURSELVES
EITHER SLOWLY OR ALL AT ONCE
WE TAKE DRUGS,
SMOKE, DRINK AND
HAVE SEX JUST TO REBEL
NOT THAT ALL OR
ANY OF THIS IS WRONG
BUT YOU NEED TO DO
THEM WHEN YOUR READY
SO LIVE YOUR LIFE
A DAY AT A TIME
AND REMEMBER.....
YOU HAVE A LIFETIME
AMBER JOSEPH
_____________________________
LADY POEM
The sky was blue,
the mountains were high,
we were alone,
just she and I,
her hair was brown,
her eyes were too.
I knew
just what
she wanted to do.
with all my courage,
I gave it my
best.
I placed my hands
upon here breasts,
I shook and
trembled
as I felt her heart,
she slowly spreads
her legs
apart,
I knew she was ready,
but I didn't know how,
for this
was the first time
I had ever milked a cow.
AMBER JOSEPH
____________________________
THE HEART
THE HEART IS NOT A PLAY THING
THE HEART IS NOT A TOY
BUT IF YOU WANT IT TO BE BROKEN
THEN GIVE IT TO A BOY
HE'LL SAY HIS LOVE IS TRUE
BUT WHEN HE FINDS ANOTHER,
ITS TO
HELL WITH YOU
VALERIE ENTWISTLE 11-9-96
____________________________
THE DAY OF BATTLE
FOR I HEAR THE BUGLE BLOW
TO CALL ME WHERE I WOULD NOT GO
AND THE GUNS BEGAN THE SONG
SOLDIER, FLY OR STAY FOR LONG
COMRADE, IF YOU TURN AND FLY
MAD A SOLDIER NEVER DIE, ANOTHER DAY
AND COWARDS FUNERALS, WHEN THEY COME
ARE NOT WEPT SO WELL AT HOME
THEREFORE THOUGH THE BEST
IS BAD, STAND AND DO THE BEST MY
LAD, STAND AND FIGHT AND SEE YOUR SLAIN
AND TAKE THE BULLET IN BRAIN.
AMBER JOSEPH
______________________________
SOUNDS
CLOSE YOUR EYES AND LISTEN TO
THE WORLD AROUND YOU
WHAT DO YOU HEAR?
CRIES FROM AROUND,
SCREAMS FROM ABOVE,
YELLS BEHIND AND GUNS AHEAD
SIRENS, AMBULANCES,
DEATH HAS HAPPENED
TO THE ONES YOU LOVE
THEIR EYES ARE SHUT,
THEY HEAR
WHATS AROUND THEM
WHAT DO THEY HEAR?
CRIES FROM YOU,
HARPS FROM HEAVEN
WORDS FROM AROUND,
SHOVELING OF DIRT
SILENCE, THEIR SOULS HAVE LEFT
BUT THEIR MEMORY REMAINS
AMBER JOSEPH
_______________________________
THE MAKING OF A POEM
I SIT IDLY WAITING,
WAITING FOR THE WAVES
OF THOUGHT TO FILL MY HEAD.
THEY COME IN LIKE A TIDE.
BRINGING FEELINGS AND DREAMS
AND HOPES AND CARES.
THE WAVES FLOW OUT OF MY PEN.
BEFORE MY EYES,
BEAUTIFUL VERSES APPEAR,
LIKE MY MIND IS LAID OUT ON THE PAPER
VALERIE ENTWISTLE
_______________________________
ESCAPE FROM REALITY
ISN'T THERE A PLACE I CAN GO?
FAR AWAY FROM HERE,
WHERE I CAN FIND PEACE
AND LOVE AND NOTHING TROUBLES ME.
WHERE EVERYONE LOVES ME
FOR WHO I AM AND
WELCOMES ME WITH OPEN ARMS.
IS THERE SUCH
A PLACE ON EARTH?
WILL YOU SHOW ME THE WAY?
THIS IS THE PLACE
I LONG TO BE,
FAR AWAY FROM REALITY.
VALERIE ENTWISTLE
_______________________________
SNOWFLAKE OF POETRY
EACH ONE HAS ITS OWN STYLE,
ALL ARE COMPOSED OF 1 INGREDIENT,
UNIQUE LINES.
EVERYONE EXPRESSED ITSELF
IN THE WAY IT IS FORMED.
FALLING FROM ITS WORLD,
UNDETERMINED UNTIL IT REACHES THE END,
APPEALING,
TO SOME NEVER LOOKING THE SMAE,
AS ANY OTHER
VALERIE ENTWISTLE
________________________________
ALONE
SHE SITS ALONE WONDERING
WHAT SHE DID TO GET YELLED AT.
ALL SHE DID WAS
SIT THERE IN SILENCE
AND SHE GOT YELLED AT EVEN WORSE.
SOMETIMES WHEN SHE LISTENS
TO THE RADIO TO LOUD,
HE YELLS AT HER
FOR THE RADIO BEING TO LOUD.
HE ALWAYS SAYS THAT
HE DOESN'T CARE WHAT
HAPPENS TO HER ANYMORE.
BUT I KNOW DEEP DOWN
THAT HE REALLY DOES CARE
WHAT HAPPENS TO HER.
AT LEAST THATS WHAT I THINK.
AT NIGHT WHEN SHE SITS ALONE,
SHE THINKS ABOUT SUICIDE,
BUT THEN SHE THINKS OF HER DAUGHTER
AND DOESN'T DO IT
CAUSE HER DAUGHTER
NEEDS HER NO MATTER WHAT.
AT NIGHT WHEN HER DAUGHTER
SITS ALONE
AND ALL SHE DOES
IS CRY HERSELF TO SLEEP.
ALL WE WANT IS
FOR HIM TO QUIT.
VALERIE ENTWISTLE 12-29-96
_________________________________
I DO HAVE ONE PERSON
TO LOOK TO AND TO THANK,
GOD IS ALWAYS THERE.
NO MATTER WHAT HAS HAPPENED,
I CAN LOOK TO HIM
AND NO MATTER HOW HURT I AM,
HE ALWAYS FILLS MY HEART
WITH LOVE AND
LETS IT SHINE THROUGH.
JILL
________________________________
FEELINGS
HERE I SIT ALONE IN TEARS.
WONDERING WHAT I DID
TO GET YELLED AT BY EVERYBODY,
AND ALL I DID WAS ASK A SIMPLE QUESTION.
EVERYBODY YELLS AT ME
WHEN I MAKE MISTAKES OR
IF I DIDN'T DO SOMETHING RIGHT.
BUT PEOPLE HAVE TO REALIZE
I'M A PERSON TOO.
I'M ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES,
AND I ALSO HAVE "FEELINGS"
LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
NO ONE LETS ME GET MY FEELINGS OUT,
SO I JUST KEEP THEM INSIDE,
UNTIL I BLOW.
ALSO WHEN I SAY I'M IN PAIN,
NO ONE CARES,
BUT WHEN EVERYBODY ELSE SAYS
THEIR IN PAIN,
PEOPLE BABY THEM.
VALERIE ENTWISTLE 4-23-96
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