I've been through so many things in my life
and now its time to be free
to find out who I am and what I want.
I can't go on living like this anymore,
for the more I go on,
I'm going to explode.
I don't want to see you cry,
for baby I'm not worth your tears
for I've caused you pain and sorrow
Don't shed your tears for me
sometimes I don't understand me,
but just maybe one of these days
I will........
I feel lonely and blue inside
and I don't want to see you cry
for baby I'm not worth your tears,
for I've caused you pain and sorrow
don't shed your tears for me.
remember wherever I go,
I will always love you.
I love you and always will
I just want my freedom
and try to find out who I am
it's not your fault
I'm the way I am
it's me, not you.
so remember...
I don't want to see you cry
for baby I'm not worth your tears
for I've caused you pain and sorrow
don't shed your tears for me
just please don't cry over me.
I'm not worth your tears
WICKED LADY
I'M A WICKED LADY
YOU USED ME ONCE
YOU'RE GONNA USE ME NO MORE
FOR I'M GOING TO HAVE YOU
AND I'M GONNA MAKE YOU WANT ME
FOR AFTER I'M THROUGH WITH YOU
YOU WON'T WANT HER ANYMORE
I'M GONNA TIE YOU UP,
WHIP YOU GOOD
TREAT YOU MEAN AND DIRTY
YOU'RE GOING TO BEG ME TO STOP
BUT I'M GONNA KEEP ON HURTING
JUST LIKE YOU HURT ME
SHE'S GONNA LEAVE YOUR ASS
WONDERING WHAT THE HELL WENT ON
SHE KNOWS YOU MESSED AROUND ON HER
FOR I'M THE ONE WHOS GOING TO HAVE YOU NOW.
TOO HARD TO SAY I'M SORRY
Just two words it is all that she would ask of me
and I could have the world
and all that it hold for me.
Of love and tender care,
not the pain and the sorrow
that will be mine tomorrow.
but I just seem to can't say it
I'm sorry.
I know exactly what i should do,
admit I'm wrong.
it wouldn't take long
and I know exactly what I ought to say.
but i'm not built that way
I wish that I could say I'm sorry
I'm a man, at least
thats what I like to think
a stubborn man,
but now is standing on the brink
of pain and despair
and I care and I'm sorry
and I ought to tell her
but I just can't seem to,
can't say I'm sorry.
I know exactly what I should do
but I'm a fool
I guess I'll do the things fools do.
I'll stand and in my stubborn ways
and as they think
I'll say I'm sorry
I FEEL LONELY WITHOUT YOU
I sit here alone
feeling so empty and lonely
I think of you often'
Every minute of the day
Wondering how you are
What you are doing
Wishing I could hold you
I sit remembering all we've shared
Dreaming of what will be
And crying a tear for every minute
We are apart
At times I tell myself I am strong
And the time apart will go quickly
Yet at others, I sit and cry
And wonder why love must hurt this way
Though somewhere in the loneliness...
Somewhere in the emptiness
I find myself feeling very loved
And I realize that
It's not the loving that hurts so much
It's being without you.
TAKE THE TIME
It's really much to soon for me to know
If this love I feel will grow
So if you want, lets take tonight to find out
Cause, the way I feel tonight
Everything will be alright
For I will keep your candle burning
Why not open up your heart to me
For I can see that love light of yours glowing
Lets take the time tongiht
For the way I feel tonight
I love you
If I can keep your love light glowing
Then lets take the time to see if
We can work it out
For you never know,
we may fall in love again
But its way to much to know
if my love will grow
And I know its gonna take time
for your love to grow
But I really hope
we can make things work out
DON'T UNDERSTAND
I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYMORE
HE USED TO LOVE ME
NOW HE SAYS HATEFUL WORDS
HE TREATS ME LIKE DIRT
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE LOVE
IT'S GONE AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT WENT WRONG
I CAN'T KEEP ON LOVING HIM
FOR HE HAS HURT ME SO BAD
MENAT ABUSE IS SO HORRIFYING
HE CALLS ME WORTHLESS,
UGLY, AND FAT
WHY THE HARSH WORDS?
WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO THE LOVE WE USED TO HAVE?
IT'S GONE AND I'VE BUILT A WALL
THAT CANNOT BE BROKEN DOWN
BY THIS MAN WHO USED TO LOVE ME
WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME
WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME
WHY MUST I SIT AND CRY
ALL I EVER WANTED WAS SOMEONE
TO TALK TO AND LISTEN TO ME
I'M NOT ALL THAT BAD
IF ONLY YOU'D LET ME TALK AND CRY
SURE, I CRY, FOR I GET UPSET
BUT ALL YOU DO IS SHRUG YOUR SHOULDERS
I NEED A GENTLE HAND TO GUIDE ME
SOMEONE WHO CARES FOR ME
SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME FOR WHO I AM
I'M SORRY I'M NOT PERFECT
BUT NO ONE IS PERFECT
NO ONE IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER ONE
WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS IS LOVE
SO PLEASE LISTEN TO ME, WHEN I TALK
TALK TO ME IN GENTLE WORDS
NO NEED FOR HATEFUL WORDS
LOVE ME WHILE YOU CAN
LIFE IS SHORT AND LIFE IS FRAGILE
YOUR HERE ONE DAY AND GONE THE NEXT
SO LEARN TO LISTEN AND TALK TO ME
I ONLY NEED TO TALK SOMETIME
I HAVE PROBLEMS...
AND I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THEM
I NEED YOU TO LISTEN TO ME
BUT YOU NEVER HAVE THE TIME FOR ME
12-13-98
COPYRIGHTED BY MARITA MYLES
PLEASE ASK PERMISSION
TO USE ANY OF MY POEMS
THANK YOU VERY MUCH
WHY SHED TEARS
I DON'T KNOW WHATS COME OVER ME
I SEEM TO CAN'T TALK TO YOU ANYMORE
IS IT ME OR JUST THE WORLD
I DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT THE FUTURE HOLDS
EVEN IF WE TRIED TO STAY TOGETHER
WOULD IT BE WORTH THE PAINS
BECAUSE I'M THE ONE WHO HURT YOU
YOU DIDN'T HURT ME. I'M TO BLAME
SO DON'T BLAME THE PROBLEMS ON YOU
DON'T SHED TEARS FOR ME
FOR I'M NOT WORTH THE SALT IN YOUR TEARS
JUST PLEASE DON'T BE HURT
BUT I KNOW THATS HARD TO DO
AFTER I'VE PUT YOU THROUGH SO MUCH PAIN
PLEASE DON'T GET ATTACHED TO ME
FOR I CANNOT GET ATTACHED TO NO ONE
FOR I AM A LONER, AT LEAST WANT TO BE
SO REMEMBER DON'T GET ATTACHED
TO SOMETHING YOU LOVE,
FOR IT
ONLY HURTS YOU
WHEN THAT SOMETHING YOU LOVE
IS NOT AROUND ANYMORE
FOR SOMETIMES I CAN'T TRUST MYSELF
NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY
AND I DON'T LIKE TO HURT THINGS
ITS JUST I DON'T KNOW HOW TO LOVE
AND I REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW
FOR LOVE CAUSES PAIN, SORROW,
TEARS AND LOVE HURTS ALOT
SO DON'T FORCE ME TO LOVE
FOR I CAN'T
CHANGE
WILL THINGS EVER CHANGE IN MY LIFE
OR WILL IT BE....
THE SAME THINGS DAY AFTER DAY.
ALWAYS DOING THE SAME OLD THINGS,
GETTING SO DULL.
CAN'T THINGS GET BETTER FOR ME.
I WANT A BETTER LIFE.
BUT WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO.
I HAVE TO GET UP
AND GET A HOBBY OR GO SOMEWHERE.
I NEED A VACATION,
SO I CAN GET SOME REST
FROM ALL MY WORRIES.
I NEED TO BE ALONE
FOR AWHILE TO THINK,
TO GET TO KNOW MYSELF.
I HAVE TO GET AWAY
TO GET TO LIKE MYSELF AGAIN.
I'M GONNA CHANGE
I DON'T KNOW
I SIT AND I WONDER WHY
HE TREATS ME THE WAY HE DOES
HE SAYS HE LOVES ME,
BUT WHY ALL THE PAIN AND HURT
THE HURTFUL WORDS
CUT ME LIKE A KNIFE
HE USED TO BE
SO SWEET AND KIND
BUT NOW THERES A ANIMAL
UNLEASED IN HIM
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
SHOULD I RUN AND HIDE
OR SHOULD I STAY AND FIGHT
I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE
IF HE'S THE SAME
ONE I USED TO LOVE
OR IF HE'S A COMPLETE STRANGER
BUT SOMEDAY I WILL FIND OUT
BUT FOR NOW THE WORDS
CAN KEEP CUTTIN ME
MAYBE SOMEDAY HE WILL BE
THE RIGHT GUY AGAIN
ONLY TIME WILL TELL
Scared
Why am I so scared
that's what I ask myself
I'm not sure what I'm scared of
It's just surgery scares me
wondering what's gonna happen
even though I'm asleep
not knowing afterwards
is what scares me
I know I shouldn't be scared
But I'm putting my life
in the hands of a surgeon
Not saying he doesn't know
....what he's doing
It's just scary knowing
I'm going in for brain surgery
maybe a hand or leg
or foot would be different
but brain surgery
scares me so much
I know my family is scared
but they seem to be
......hanging in there
while I'm so nervous and scared
But my family...
will really be scared
when the big day arrives
for now maybe...
I should learn to RELAX
try not to be so scared
I will be strong
and with god's help
he will guide me through.
I made this poem when
i went to surgery
april 16, 1999
I got to come home April 22, 1999
I am doing okay for now.
but still alittle sore.
© 1999 Marita Myles
(All rights reserved)
ALL I EVER WANTED
ALL I EVER WANTED WAS LOVE
ALL I EVER GET IS HURT
HURTING INSIDE FROM ALL THE HEARTACHES
YOUR WORDS STABBING THROUGH ME LIKE A KNIFE
WHEN ALL I EVER WANTED WAS LOVE
I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP
WONDERING WHERE DID ALL MY YEARS GO
NEVER COULD I BE HAPPY
I ONLY WISH THINGS WOULD OF CHANGED
BUT NOW THEY NEVER WILL
YOU ALWAYS SAY YOU LOVE ME
BUT DEEP DOWN INSIDE,
I KNOW THOSE WORDS ARE LIES
YOU NEVER LOVED ME AND NEVER WILL
FOR YOUR HURTFUL WORDS
CUT ME DOWN ALL THE TIME
NEVER HARDLY DOES
A KIND WORD COME FROM YOU
WHAT HAVE I DONE
TO MAKE YOU HATE ME SO BAD
ALL I EVER WANTED WAS LOVE
BUT IN THE END
ALL I GOT WAS HURT
WILL I EVER BE LOVED AGAIN
OR WILL IT ALWAYS BE HURT
THERE ONCE WAS A CHILD
THERE WAS ONCE A CHILD
WHO GREW UP
IN A VERY BAD FAMILY.
BAD THINGS HAPPENED TO HER.
BUT AS SHE GREW UP,
SHE LEARNED ALOT OF THINGS.
SHE GREW TO BE STRONG
AND TO BE PROUD.
SHE'S LEARNED
TO COPE WITH HER LIFE.
SHE'S GIVEN BIRTH
TO HER OWN CHILDREN.
BUT HER CHILDREN
ARE TREATED DECENT.
THATS FOR...
SHE LEARNED ALOT.
SHE GREW UP..
TO BE STRONG AND TO BE PROUD.
VALERIE
VALERIE'S LONG HAIR
BLOWS IN THE WIND.
SHE IS A SYMBOL
OF FREEDOM.
VALERIE'S LIPS PUCKER SHUT,
WHEN SHE DOESN'T WANT FOOD.
SHE IS A SYMBOL OF DETERMINATION.
VALERIE IS A WOMAN OF STRENGTH.
VALERIE IS A BABY OF LOVE,
A BABY OF BEAUTY.
VALERIE IS OURS.
VALERIE IS YOURS.
UNTITLED
SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY
I ALWAYS WANT TO CRY
FOR I AM ALWAYS SAD
SOMETIMES SO VERY MAD
WHAT DID ALL THIS HURT DO TO ME
MAYBE ITS ALL BECAUSE OF ME
BUT AGAIN MY PAST IS BAD
AND IT MAKES ME VERY SAD
TO KNOW I WAS ROBBED
OF SO MUCH LIFE
NOW ALL I WANT TO DO IS LAUGH
I WANT TO BE ME
AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT ME
I WANT TO FEEL GOOD
AND BE HEARD
I MUST MAKE MY PAST BE HEARD
EVEN THOUGH IT MAY HURT
PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW
WE HAD A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL
WE HAD A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL.
I WANT TO SHOUT IT TO THE CLOUDS.
I WANT TO YELL IT ACROSS THE OCEAN.
IT'S ALL OVER.
WE HAD A BEAUTIFUL GIRL.
NINE MONTHS OF WORRY AND DISCOMFORT
AND THERE SHE WAS.
ALL PINK AND CUDDLY,
WITH LONG ALMOND SHAPED EYES.
PERFECT LITTLE HANDS AND FEET.
WE HAD A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL.
I WANT TO SHOUT IT ACROSS THE MOUNTAINS.
I WANT TO YELL IT THROUGH THE FIELDS.
IT'S ALL OVER.
VALERIE IS BEAUTIFUL.
VALERIE IS HEALTHY.
VALERIE IS PERFECT.
THANK YOU VALERIE.
THANK YOU GOD.
MY SON
Though you were 5 years old
when you were given to your dad.
I will always love you
wherever you are.
Even though your far away
and I don't get to see you
for quite awhile.
I know deep in my heart,
we will see each other again.
so you have a new mother,
I will always be your real mother
and will never forget
the fun times of raising you
those first 5 years.
some were bad,
some were good,
but deep down in my heart,
I knew you forgave me.
I love you and will never forget you.
For your my child and always
will be special to me.
I love you and
wish I could see you again.
But time will let us
be together real soon.
I just know it.
So take care hon,
until we meet again,
even if its when your older.
I'll always love you forever,
no matter where you are.
BECAUSE YOU ARE MY FRIEND,
WE HAVE SHARED THE SECRETS
IN OUR LIVES AND GROWN STRONG.
BECAUSE YOU ARE MY FRIEND,
WE HAVE SEALED A BOND
THAT TIME CANNOT REMOVE
AND SMILED A SECRET SMILE
THAT THE WORLD SHALL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
BECAUSE HAVING SUCH A FRIEND
IS MORE PRECIOUS THAN GOLD.
I HAVE RICHES
IN UNTOLD MEASURE
AND A HEART OUTSIDE
MY OWN TO CALL HOME.
MY LITTLE BROTHER
Seeing him standing there
His blond hair blowing in the wind
His smile always brightened your day
He was the one that could
make you laugh and cry
He was so kind and gentle
Remembering the bad times
But what the heck
Everyone has bad times
He was there when you needed him
Until one terrible night
Someone took his life
and destroyed such a fine kid
They took his life in cold blood
Such a brutal way to go
Why did this happen to him
When he was so young to die
But he's gone to be with god
And one day we'll all see him again
Until we meet in heaven little brother
Rest in peace
We all loved you and will
never ever forget you.