you lean in 
under the fluorescent lights
reverting from my lips 
as quickly as you 
pass off the idea of us
held in our conversation
questins circulate my mind
like why and how
you say sometimes that i am indecisive
you say other times that i am beautiful
you say that who i am around you
is not the same person
that is around everyone else
and i can only agree
but have you ever thought why?
the past we have created
the way we have learned each other
the things that are said and unsaid
between you and i 
exist in a completely different atmosphere
thatn the atmospheres between myself and others
my inhibitions are present
only to retain your presence
that other person in me is here
whenever you feel you can handle her
i fear introducing you
and the two of you
not finding everything
that you and i have found
not seeing everything 
that we see in the eyes of each other
i fear that you will not talk to her
the way you talk to me
all of these fears
are my insecurities
my questions of tomorrow
and what it holds
still...
you are the one 
who knows the me
that will be here tomorrow
not the one
that will fade away 
with experience
time 
age
as you shift nearer to me
my hand cascades across your flesh
i fear that my desire
to surpass this margin 
between us
will have you slipping out the door
desparate to prevent your deficiency
i conceal certain parts of me
i build imaginary walls
that hold certain actions
certain words
certain thoughts
within them
refusing to let everything escape me
refusing to push you to escape me
despite our efforts
to resist temptation
we have delivered ourselves
to the distance between us
once again
you read me too well
you hear the voice of my eyes
even when i whisper
telling you that i am in love 
with you
my fear has overcome me
my fear is now reality
as you sit across from me
no longer speaking
no longer looking