Grateful
Ramblings
An Old
Tour Head's Insight into
the
Grateful Dead
Vol
4
Over
the period of 1979-1990 I attended over 100
Grateful
Dead shows. I saw the country from West to East
gaining
more family each tour. Sense of community
became
important to me & I did like the older guys had done
for
me and tried to teach new young tour heads respect
for
the scene and each other. This respect for kindness &
each
other seemed to start getting lost as the scene got
bigger
right around the time that "Touch Of Grey" was
released.Lots
of new people joined in and there was now
always
too many people in the lots w/out tickets.
I began
to turn my musical attention much more toward
Jerry
Garcia Band at this time and went to 0ver 20
shows
& collected tapes from shows I didn't see,
These
shows & tapes are my favorites still to this day.
I feel
that J.G.B. gave Jerry the freedom he lacked in the Dead
as he
was the definite leader-& was able to let his favorite
musical
influences-Bob Dylan-the Beatles-Motown-
early
blues & rock-take over and he could do musically
whatever
he felt like since he was the leader.
This
is also the period when I realized how serious his drug addictions
were
affecting his playing and his preparation with
his
band. There were shows when it was damn obvious
the
band wasn't ready to try certain songs.
But
when they were on they rocked my soul and
left
me singing & feeling emotions I didn't feel at Dead
shows.
In the
90's my Grateful Dead show touring slowed down-
not
so much because I was older-but as a musician i
could
see Jerry
wearing
down and many nights physically unable to play
&
stand up for 3-4 hours. At one show my friend remarked
how
he couldn't hear Jerry very well and why wouldn't Healy
turn
him up. I took his binoculars out and looked and simply
said
to my friend-"His right hand is not moving-he's not
strumming-there's
nothing to turn up." It took my
friend
a few shows to see what I meant as he was not a musician like me.
At my
final 3 shows in Atlanta Ga. in '95 I noticed
this
a lot at different points in the shows-It was the
worst
I had ever seen Jerry-the rest of the band sounded good
but
he was hurting bad. I wish i had gone to the last show
at Soldier
Field Chicago-that tour
when
on on his last two songs he ever sang
So many
Roads-Black Muddy River
some
spirit woke him up and he left us with
soulful
performances-almost like he knew the calling was there.
I sure
believe in fate now. And i do miss
him.
I try to tell friends & loved ones that there is a
message-be
careful with the use of drugs-and when
it takes
over your life-you need to regain that personal control.
But
it is a hard lesson to learn
"the
fields are full of dancin'
full
of singing and romancin'
the
music never stopped"
e-mail malfalfa1@yahoo.com
part 5 of my grateful dead story