CLINTONS DRIVER!!

President Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly.

Clinton told his driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners what had happened.

About 1 hour later Clinton sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.

"What happened to you", asked Clinton.

"Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the Cigar and his 19 year old daughter made mad passionate love to me," says the driver. "My God, what did you tell them?" asks Clinton.

The driver replies, "I'm President Clinton's driver, and I just killed the pig."

IF ALL ELSE FAILS

Little Leroy went to his mother demanding a new bicycle.

His mother decided that he should take a look a himself and the way he acts.

She said, "Well Leroy, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money to just go out and by you anything you want. So why don't you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead."

After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room.

He finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus.

Dear Jesus,
I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle.
Your Friend,

Leroy

Now, Leroy knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was ( a pretentious brat). So he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.

Dear Jesus,
I've been an OK boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle.
Yours Truly,

Leroy

Well, Leroy knew this wasn't totally honest so he tore it up and tried again.

Dear Jesus,
I've thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a bicycle?

Leroy

Well, Leroy looked deep down in his heart which by the way was what his mother really wanted. He knew he had been terrible and was deserving of almost nothing. He crumpled up the letter, threw it in the trash can and went running outside.

He aimlessly wandered about depressed because of the way he treated his parents and really considered his actions.

He finally found himself in front of a Catholic Church. Leroy went inside and knelt down, looking around not knowing what he should really do.

Leroy finally got up and began to walk out the door and was looking at all the statues. All of a sudden he grabbed a small one and ran out the door.

He went home, hid it under his bed and wrote this letter.

Jesus,
I've got your mama. If you ever want to see her again, give me a bike.

YOU KNOW WHO!