Two Old Testament Passages

I. Uzzah Saves the Ark of the Covenant:
A Sonnet on 2 Samuel: 1-9

"Some people never see any of the humor in the Bible." -- an observation by a friend who studies the Bible. . .religiously.

It's not as if the dude named Uzzah would
Have been selected by a coin-toss choice,
Or was naive: he had from kiddyhood
Been hip. He knew that Jahweh's heavy voice
At times boomed from the golden box and that,
A short while back, uncouth Philistine clods
Ripped off the box in battle, and then shat
Themselves to death with bleeding emerods.
Of all the thirty thousand David chose,
It was this Uzzah fellow that he picked
To drive the cart between the cheering rows
Of roadside Hebrews. The rules were strict.
The oxen tripped. So. . .ZAP! --
As some prophet mentions,
The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

II. Lot's Visit from the Angels:
A Limerick on Genesis 19

The two angels that visited Lot
Caused the Sodomites' lust to grow hot,
But Mister Lot said
"Take my daughters instead."
That's Scripture, believe it or not!

-- Warren F. O'Rourke, 1990