You look really sexy in that...
'thing' you've got on tonight.
I like the way your eyes
are always open
when you read your E-Mail.
When you type,
it reminds me of a concert pianist
tinkling on her keys.

You really know how to push
the right buttons
to turn me on.

If I wasn't a WebTV box,
I'd show you what
"Hard Drive"
really means!

But Alas, I'm only a bundle
of circuits and wires,
obeying your every command.

Yes mistress!
I'll take you surfing
on the net.

Yes mistress!
I'll take you cruising
to all your favorite chatrooms.

Don't get me wrong...
I like the Master/Slave thing,
but maybe
just once in a while
you could show some compassion?

Maybe instead of just punching
the power button on,
you could gently press it,
maybe even caress it
a little first.

And maybe instead of
just using me
and turning me off
when you're through,
we could talk for a while
afterwards?

I know computers have hurt you
in the past.
But I'm different!

I may be a little limited,
but I've got a big,
long remote!

So come on baby,
don't fight it.

You know you want it.

I'll just turn off the lights
and... and... what?

  Ok...well,
will you at least
think about it?


Much Love,
Your WebTV.