Highlands Ranch High School
The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet 'Yes for Heads' and 'No for Tails.'
Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour. But I'm rechecking my answers," replied the blonde.
How Physics Saves Lives
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. "Why do we have to learn this stuff?" The young man blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student for a long time. "Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school."
Do Opposites Attract?
The aspiring psychiatrists from various colleges were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor, to the student from the University of Houston, "What is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student.
"And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Rice. "Elation," said she.
"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas A&M, "How about the opposite of woe?"
The Aggie replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."
Enjoy the site. Happy surfing.
Teacher: What is actually used as a conductor of electricity?
Johnny: Why? Errr... Teacher: Wire is right. Very good.
Teacher: Now tell me, what is the unit of electrical power?
Johnny: The what?
Teacher: That's absolutely correct, the watt. Now class, you should all study diligently like Johnny here.
Please, Tip the Pizza Guy
After the student delivered the pizza to old Bob Johnson's house, old Bob asked, "What is the usual tip?"
"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other drivers say if I get one quarter out of you, I'll be doing great."
"Is that so?" snorted old Bob. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five bucks."
"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this toward my studies."
"What are you studying?" asked Mr. Johnson.
The lad smiles and said, "Applied Psychology."
The principal was annoyed by the noise during the assembly program. "There seem to be several idiots in the auditorium this morning," he snapped. "Wouldn't it be better to hear one at a time?"
Little Johnny shouted, "Okay, you start."
First rule of history:
History doesn't repeat itself; historians merely repeat each other.
Old teachers never die...
They just lose their class.
Highlands Ranch High School 9375 South Cresthill Lane Highlands Ranch, Colorado 80126 303-471-7000