Highlands Ranch High School
Political Correct Terms for Teenagers
Your homework isn't missing; it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."
The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."
You're not sleeping in class; you're "rationing consciousness."
You don't have smelly gym socks; you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."
You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."
You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."
Kids don't get in trouble anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."
You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."
No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically enhanced."
You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."
You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."
It's not called gossip anymore. It's "transmission of near-factual information."
Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's "passage-restrictive."
The Chief's Almanac
The Indians asked their Chief, during autumn, if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing an answer, the chief replied that the winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared.
Being a good leader, he then went to the next phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter to be cold?" The man on the phone responded, "This winter was going to be quite cold indeed." So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared.
A week later he called the National Weather Service again, "Is it going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes," the man replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter." So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood they can find.
Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again: "Are you absolutely sure, that the winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely" the man replies, "the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!"
Whiz Kid Quizwhiz
Read the below sentence carefully. What's so special about this sentence?
"I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications' incomprehensibleness."
Answer: In this sentence the Nth word is N letters long. e.g. 3rd word is 3 letters long, 8th word is 8 letters long and so on...!
Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
Enjoy the site. Happy surfing.
A father noticed that his son was spending far too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
The son replied, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of The United States."
"I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the West!"
- Rodney Dangerfield
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children cope with teenagers of their own!
"President Grover Cleveland could write in Latin one hand while writing in Greek with the other. I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous."
- Jay Leno
A man complains to a friend, "I can't take it anymore."
"What's wrong?" his concerned friend asks.
"It's my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical!"
"You mean hysterical," his friend said, chuckling.
"No, I mean HISTORICAL," the man insists. "Every argument we have, she'll go "I still remember that time when you..."
Behind Every Great Man Is His Mother
Mrs. Washington: "Oh George, you never did have a head for money."
Mrs. Morse: "Sam, stop tapping your fingers on the table, it's driving me crazy!"
Mrs. Lindbergh: "Charles, can't you do anything by yourself?"
Mrs. Armstrong: "Neil has no more business taking flying lessons than the man in the moon."
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Highlands Ranch High School 9375 South Cresthill Lane Highlands Ranch, Colorado 80126 303-471-7000