I have searched for you for the past five years in vain...

In my eyes, and in my shadows--overlapping my hands 
to feel what two hands in one actually felt like---because
my hands are so cold they feel dead to me now---

I have searched for you----In my mind and in my 
voice----among the crowds, and drenched in crayon
shavings...the conductor of my own symphony---the
faker of life----the girl that loved you and never
had the courage to say one word----

----------------------------------------------------------

River Jude Phoenix

Born: River Jude Bottom

August 23, 1970

Do I really need to mention all his films? How many pages are
out there that say the same damn things over and over again, 
verbatim? The same ideas, concepts, and dedications--all beautiful
in their own respect, but I strive to create something different.
I am giving you my heart and my soul, and most of all, my memories of 
River Jude Phoenix...I want to create more than just a site full
of pretty pictures and prose. I want to celebrate the human, and
the soul, and not only the actor...River acted, it was his job, but
he was a person too...He liked music, and shooting pool, and 
listening to XTC, Fishbone, and The Velvet Underground. He 
smoked Camel cigarettes, and sometimes Canadian Export A cigarettes.
He put his pants on one leg at a time, and just like a lot of 
us, he had trouble getting up in the morning, and had bad days.
He was human, and not infallible, because if he was this super-
human, he would still be here with us now.

Let us embrace River, but remember also to learn from him...

River would have wanted it that way, because above all else, 
he was a teacher and a friend. He gave us his life in each
and every film that he made. There was no barrier, there was no
acting, there was just "River"- and he told the truth...

He was honesty..and he personified what happens when we drown
in ourselves....

I miss River so much, don't you?

PS:

Hey Riv---

I can still see you if I close my eyes and think real
hard....