We mothers know our children, from our wombs to birth and after. We learn their different sounds and cries. Happy cooing sounds, hungry cries, uncomfortable cries......needing to burp or having gas, cries.....when they are in pain cries.So, why is it that some of us say we didn't know our child was being Sexually Abused?
It's called denial. We don't want to Believe, that someone we love, be it a Family Member,
a long time and Trusted Friend/ Aquaintance of family or a Husband and Father or Stepfather of our children,
would do such a thing. Well believe it, it happens more so in families than not.
Learn the Signs, if you don't know what they are, so that you will be aware of what your child
is trying to tell you, through their Silence and or, Acting Out.
You have a basically happy child, who starts changing, becomes sullen withdrawn, acting out in school.
Where, before, he/she was getting good grades, had many friends and enjoyed playing, running, laughimg, sports, very outgoing.
Signs Of Sexual Abuse
National Resources For Victims
Of Crime Toll Free Numbers
Then there is the Pre-Teen Yrs, Drugs, Alcohol, Run-Aways and yes Prostitution.
They are Running from the Pain of Sexual Abuse, only to become Self Destructive.
They feel Shame, that they did something wrong, it's their fault this happened to them. NO! NO! NO!
I worked with many Teenagers of Sexual Abuse.
There was this one mother, who called the crisis center one day, and told us that her daughter had been molested by her husband, Daughter's Father.
I listened for awhile, then asked if they would like to come and talk to one of us?
The mother said, "Well
I don't know what you can do for her,
if she didn't try to seduce him by walking around him wearing short skirts and night clothes, he would never have done this."
I was in shock, couldn't believe she said this!
This man is her daughter's father..he had crossed the line.
I had to, hand the phone to one of my colleagues,
because if I had stayed on that phone with this person one more second,
her poor daughter wouldn't have gotten the help she so desperately needed.
I wanted to choke this woman, to say the least.
Mothers..Parents I am Pleading with you, talk to and teach your children how to be safe. Teach them that they can come to you and tell you anything, regardless of what anyone might tell them.
NOTE: Many Sociologists, Psychologists and others have said, "Every
Mother knows when their child is being hurt, be it sexually abused or abused in any way". I feel, just as strongly, that this is true.
Chidren: Our Hopes, Our Dreams and Our Futures
Written By: Karen S.
January 1998
Updated October 25, 2001
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