Friday, 23rd October 1998

Hello, and welcome to my life. My life's name is Richard. He is small and Asian and he wears clothes that are several sizes too big for him. His favorite band is that annoying band that sings "Closing Time." His favorite song is "Closing Time". His favorite poet is Jewel. He relentlessly ignores the fact that Jewel's poems were ghostwritten. He likes hummus and bagels and he pays little or no attention to his surroundings.

He is a strange and yet, strangely, charming figure

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