Mimes appear to represent the missing link between Man and Clown. Why do they not speak? Are they unable or unwilling? Some would have you believe it is a hybrid of spiritual, political and philosophical statement, but we obviously know that that is bogus, as someone dressed like an emaciated Mickey Mouse attempting to escape from an imaginary box is simply too psychotic to really offer any worthwile viewpoints on life at large. Perhaps the first Mime was a mute clown. Perhaps Silent Movies have a hand in their development somewhere. The most famous (or infamous, in the League's opinion) Pied Piper of Mimedom is Marcel Marceaux, whose upside down pentagram birthmark is almost never mentioned during any biographical treatises on his long and public life, tempting more unassuming school children into the dark clutches of the Paint. At any time, if you were to count the number of mindless citizens, dumbstruck by a Mime's erroneous attempts to pull himself toward a lamp-post with an imaginary rope, you would be shocked and appalled at the number of otherwise healthy, sane individuals who seem to have no real defense against the lure of the absurd. They will stand there, disregarding important appointments and even inclement weather, to watch a Mime perform his schtick, and some, having fallen too far under the malignant spell, will even toss coins to the Mime, signalling to the sly predator their unquestionable succeptibility to domination and mind control. Mimes also recreate almost exclusively in streets, usually in the busier parts of a large city, as opposed to the Clown's penchant for what John Cougar Mellancamp would refer to as "Little Pink Houses". A thoughtful visitor put forth the possibility that Mimes are actually the PRODUCTS of Clowns. "How is that?" you say? Trauma is a very real and very common phenomenon associated with childhood memories of clowns. Using medical and psychological history as a guide, we also see that trauma can cause many different physiological ailments, one of which can be termed "hysterical muteness/laryngitis", where the subject is either unwilling or unable (due to a psychological block) to speak. Now, we know that some Mimes are capable of verbal communication, so we'll throw those select few out right now, but what of the remainders? Is it possible that the horrendous childhood shock experienced by these poor souls as children have led them, ultimately, to recreate the very thing which they are so afraid of; have they been forced, in their own minds, somehow, into Clowndom? This is a very disturbing train of thought - one which I had not considered. What then, if this is the case, are these "Accidental Mimes" hoping to acheive? Is this a release for them? A way to face their fears? Or are they actually insane? As a crotchety old philosopher once said, "If you stare into the Abyss long enough, the Abyss begins to stare back". If anyone can offer any more insights into this or any other related topic, please e-mail me from the main page! Below is a small gallery of mime-related pictures and narration.
 No strangers to camera and celebrity, mimes love attention, but this one appears to have been four sheets to the wind, else he would never have allowed someone to paint him in his habitat, in his true "relaxed" state. The artist was checked into a mental health facility shortly after the completion of this mind-bending work.
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 You'll notice that this gaggle of mimes is indeed all female, and that there are two leaders (dressed in red and white suits). This was taken hours after a college play, all students having succumbed to the illness of mimitis, the two lead actresses being the most gravely affected.
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 Another 'caught-in-the-act' picture; this was taken at a Minnesota gymnasium during an assembly for class president. Here we see the winner (left), high-fiving her sister, accomplice and ballot-stuffer, who assured her the presidency - last reports indicated mimitis sweeping through the school, causing the school nurse to tender her resignation within days.
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 Happily, some authorities and law enforcement officers are well aware of the danger of mimes and routinely make arrests and busts, but the red tape that is the drawn out process of "the system" protects these miscreants, claiming false arrest and no evidence. Sadly, this mime was released a mere 48 hours after his capture.
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 Another rare photograph inside a mime's home as he discovers the World Anti-Mimimic League homepage, and others like it. Here we see definite emotion, especially violence, and, surprisingly, tool use! Wrestling fans will note the similarity to World Championship Wrestling's baseball bat-wielding "Sting", whose "Crow" gimmick has caused him to be referred to almost exclusively as "The Evil Mime".
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 A Los Angeles clubber snapped a picture of this group, "Screaming Mime", indicating that not only can they use tools, they apparently also have some connection with attorneys, lawyers and the mass meda - a very dark bit of news indeed...
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 Here we find two mimes (later arrested), as they kneel on the sidewalk directly outside of a Branson, Missouri home. The homeowner was later found to have been strangled, though the rope was never found. When summoned by concerned anti-mimimic neighbors, the police took this picture and found to their horror that this grisly repast was the homeowner's pet dog, Toodles. The mimes had no comment.
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 Proving without a doubt the effort to push mimery into the very fabric of our lives and fill our children's heads full of fallacies about miming being a victimless crime, this "Mr. Mime" pokeman card is by far the most disturbing picture ever seen in a collectible card game.
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