MY JOURNAL ENTRIES

                            

Dec 20 3:17pm

So I finally finished typing out all that nonsense that I'd written out on my trip, and now can regal you with all that has not happened in my life since I arrived home.

I DID not have sex with my boyfriend, as once I got home Greg's houseguest was gone out all night partying BUT his ever-present roommate refused to leave us alone. And once she went to bed and we'd start getting frisky, he'd stop for fear that his houseguest could walk in at any moment. And for the record this woman was sharing his bed, so I eventually ended up heading home once he started to fall asleep. Needless to say I'm most sexually frustrated. We did watch Camille Claudel, and if you haven't seen it yet, then I highly advise you to run out and rent a copy. The poor woman, such a tragic life. And who better to portray her than Isabelle Adjani. Tonight we're gonna watch the story of Victor Hugo's daughters life, another sad tale but Greg loved it. I've yet to watch it.

I think we are supposed to take the houseguest out this evening as well, as she leaves for her parent's house on Sunday. This girl is just way too much of a partyer for my tastes, not that I don't love to party, its just the company she keeps while partying that leaves much to be desired. She went out with one of her old profs the night that we watched Camille Claudel, who is married but thinks nothing of sleeping with his students. He's such a pig. And after that she was meeting up with some guy who's over thirty, lives with his mother and shoots up heroin. Nice, most charming. Not that she's a user herself, but she loves to be around people who are on the edge. Hey I may hang around escorts, hookers, etc... but they are taxpaying clean living hookers who have futures, education, etc. Don't you hate when people put limits on another person's worth? For the record though I think the world of this girl, just don't care for her friends thats all, she herself is a ton of fun.

A really good thing happened, I was chatting with a friend I made as a result of my journal... and he has conspired to get me a copy of Corel's paint program on CD. I own exactly zero CD's as I have this thing against paying for software. He's too sweet for words this guy. I was telling Greg about it and it was the first time he actually showed an interest in my internet usage, he perked up and said "OH, and just how close are you two guys". I explained that we were cyber-sex buddies (we're not) and that I owed him X number of sexual experiences as a result of the transaction, fortunately he saw the humor in it.

Last night once I got home from Greg's I decided to cruise the net and cracked a bottle of wine. Well to make a long story short I ended up surfing the net drunk and ran into my ex-online lover. It was surprising in that we actually had alot of fun. He told me that this was the first time he'd ever seen me pissed, and for the record I can be a really fun drunk at times. So we laughed and pissed around and I flirted with him shamelessly. I kept trying to lure him onto NetMeeting but he wouldn't budge and refused to meet me. I remember now why I was so infatuated with him. This guy is just so beautiful, physically and mentally. But I behaved well enough and all my flirting was seen as just that, flirting. But to be honest if he'd responded likewise I'm not sure what I would've done. After all  I was sexually frustrated, and him and I do have a past. Not that I think I would've cybered with him, but I certainly would have said stuff that I'd regret in the days to follow. Namely how I cared about him etc, and still fantasize about him on occasion. I can honestly say that although it was just a cyber relationship I   did love him, but we were both realistic enough to realize the limitations that it placed on us. Not many people can make me feel thoroughly connected to them just through typing and email but he was an amazing affair, even better than some I've had in RL. One of these days I'll put his GIFs on disk and remove them from my computer, but I'm not ready to do that yet.

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