MY JOURNAL ENTRIES

                            

 

Dec 8 8:20 am

I had a really pleasant weekend, go figure... nothing choked me or pissed me off. I must be mellowing in my old age or something. When I got to Greg's on Saturday night I was just beat, hell day at work and I was letting it overwhelm me. We talked for awhile and it was one of those low-lights, soft voices, and gentle touch conversations, so I was feeling pretty content by  the time that the door burst open and Shandra. fell into the room. Yeah, she literally fell in *S*.

She'd gone out with some girl that she'd met the day before and had wound up at some house party. Now the poor thing was so pissed she could hardly talk, made no sense, and just barely was able to stand up. She made a few attempts at "look at me aren't I drunk, and soooo cute", but both of us are past the point of finding drunk spinny women too be engaging or cute. Eventually she slithered off to her room and we resumed out conversation. Only to be once again interrupted by the sound of her guts hitting the bowl of water in the W/C.  She must have carried on for a good two hours, and I told Greg a couple of times to see if she was OK, but he just brushed me off. Then I got to thinking if she'd gone out drinking and overindulged cause she was lonely etc and that maybe we should give her more time with us. Greg just burst out laughing... "she's in her early twenties, and spinny" he responded. She went out, got silly, got drunk, got sick.... there's no depth to it. He told me that it was no wonder I drive myself insane with worry over stuff that isn't worth worrying about. I have to agree with him there. So anyway, once she crashed for good I took a bottle of Tylenol and a bottle of mineral water to leave on her bedside table, I was worried about her getting dehydrated.

Once she was down for the count we watched a movie and just enjoyed the mood we'd established before she got home, and eventually had the most amazing sex on a whole new level of intimacy. Made me realize that we had been able to remove ourselves from her so much that it was like she'd never come home. Make sense? I'll try and explain a bit better, it was like this was the first night we'd not been interrupted at all, felt like it was just us... for the first time since she'd moved in. I know I bitch about it alot, but I never realized how much her presence affects our ability to be intimate.

The next morning we just layed around and managed to maintain that for the whole day, but the drunk stayed in bed for the whole day which was REALLY nice. I'm thinking I'm gonna buy her an unlimited tab at the bar and just let her stay there *G*. We met his friends as planned and had afternoon tea at their house which eventually evolved to, beer, wine, and an 11pm cab ride home. I'm glad I finally made it over there, this couple was wonderful. I'd heard people talk about her art, etc for the longest time but had no real urge to see it, etc. But once I did I was just blown away by her imagery, texture, and technique. Then I realized how many of her pieces I'd seen in magazines, on TV, etc and it dawned on me to what level she was recognized as an artist. And it felt great to realize that I was sitting in this room with all these amazing pieces of art while the artist explained them to me on such an individual level. Sometimes I'm stunned at some of the people that Greg knows, and not just on a "KISS, KISS" sort of level but on a genuine level of intimate friendship. And I know  this'll sound kind of stupid but I loved that it was such a couples' night, made me feel that... god I'm not even sure how to put it into words, but I think you know what I mean. It was security and not showmanship. I've been in tons of situations where I know that it was an evaluate the new boyfriend and I'll call you tomorrow for the details thing. But this wasn't like that at all, he was presenting me as his lover and not asking for permission or feedback. Does that sound too stupid? But basically it was a great night... and continued well into the next day (this morning) and I'm still kind of "snug" feeling.

I found out something new about Greg that I found kind of interesting. Most gay men, I find, tend to find women just intriguing on an aesthetic level. In terms of a more appreciative view of a beautiful woman, the shape of their bodies and the differences between the genders. While I find that most lesbians tell me that they don't really think about men for the most part, and never did. Not in a dismissive way, but rather a "they're just there sort of thing" and the impact is remarkable minimal on these women's lives. And we were discussing this woman's art once we got home and the pictures we liked. I found that  he only likes the ones with men in them. None of the one's with women or children were of interest, although he appreciates them on an artistic level, he couldn't live with any of them for long periods of time. As he explained his lack of interest in the female form it was similar to how I've heard many lesbians describe to me their lack of interest in the male form. And no, it wasn't a sexist woman hating thing so much as a purely aesthetic interest, or lack thereof.

I must get to work, therefore I'm out of here.... oh yeah, but a STATS counter on my page, its pretty cool and I highly recommend it.

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