MY JOURNAL ENTRIES

 

                            

Feb 3 3:03 am

***You're a kind and generous man, and someday people will write songs about you.***

Sandra Bullock to the bus driver "SAM" in Speed

God I'm such a phreak, I snuck home again, but I stole his keys so I'll head back later. Just knew I wasn't gonna be able to sleep so I thought I'd come home, watch TV and crank my stereo.

I'm having a "moment" :)

My moment consists of finding a journal I really like, not that I haven't found some in the past but this one gave me a "lump" in my throat tonight. She has a great style, its like how you imagine she'd be talking if you were sitting across the table from her. I like that ALOT. But anyway she was updating on something or other and had written with what I consider really raw emotion and yep anger. I totally felt that, and it hit me. I welled up and just shared that anger and frustration, it was really cool. Well as cool as "that" can be. =P

It actually gave me an idea, and I've been sitting here and reading my own journal, which by the way is something I don't do often. But I sat down and read it from cover to cover. I tried to imagine how I'd feel if I stumbled across this and what would "my" impressions be of it? I actually, and this sounds stupid I know, but I "liked" the guy that was uploading this waste of bandwidth. >feel free to shake your head and mutter "ohmigod, what a goofball"<

Blah, blah, and blah. Throw in two duhs for good measure.... next topic now please.

I met up with Exodus on AIM and right when things were getting dishy I got disconnected and haven't been able to reconnect, which totally sucks as I had some stuff I really NEEDED to say. I miss seeing him, but yet I know the situation so I'm cool with it. Nothing bad mind you, just both our schedules etc prevent as much time as I think we'd both like. I'm making a brave assumption there that he's feeling the same... I'm SUCH an egoist.

Ohmigod.... guess what happened madams and monsieur's? Matinee buddy phoned Greg tonight and was all distressed over "something" immediately all minds race towards post traumatic abortion disorder right? Wrong. She smashed her car up as she went out partying and drove home drunk. Not just tipsy mind you, but I'm so drunk that I'm just where did that pole that's just divided my hood in half come from sort of drunk. Greg is just furious with her, she asked for money as she's been evicted as well. He told her that she's gonna have to take the bus like the rest of us and she just groaned and poo poo'd it. I think he's more pissed with the fact that she's taking this so lightly. He just looked at me as serious as can be and said "she's not even slightly cognitive that she could have killed someone." I love that about him, he's not a yes man. I've stated before that he seldom perseverates, he says his spiel and then its history... but tonight I could see that it was on his mind ALOT. I think he's re-evaluating her character and wondering if he's been allowing her too much leeway as a friend due to the whole abortion, and if she's in turn exploiting that liberty. Me personally... I think she is to a degree. I don't judge and I don't put myself in other's shoes as you never know. But it does make me wonder...

I'm the worst for analyzing and picking apart other's motivators... I may not judge but that doesn't mean I don't wonder immensely. Oh yeah and I will tell people "yer an asshole" but I don't expect it to change anything. God I'm such a contradiction. Maybe I just wanna view myself in the best light that  I can... *sigh* who knows... who cares. Hey wait a minute there... I do!!!

all I've left to say is... (please click this... it took me forever to find and I'm assuming you know who this is... if not you need to watch more Animaniacs).

PS: I watch WAY too much TV. For someone that thinks he hates pop culture :)

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