MY JOURNAL ENTRIES

 

                            

Feb 7 6:13pm

***Bring me the sunset in a cup***

Emily Dickinson

So I took one of those stupid little psyche tests... this one was mailed to me as an "exe" program. And VOILA here are my results.

You are analytic, gifted and talented. You are also creative, not selfish and you are loyal. You practice high standards and do not blow your own trumpet.

Your weak points: You are temperamental, full of whims and often feel sorry for yourself. You are also suspicious, pessimistic and can not make up your mind. Because you are over perfectionistic you very seldom finish any project that you start. You totally underestimate yourself.

I admit I seldom buy into these as they tend to strike me as Cosmo Quizzes, but yet I would agree in general with most of it. But then again when you ask pointed questions you will naturally get pointed answers, right? Maybe I just enjoy the good stuff and hate reading about the criticisms, I love being complimented yet I seldom believe people when they do. Yep, hence the "you are suspicious" part of my test. But like they say "just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you."

I do plan on taking the Kiersey quiz/test whatever it is as I've heard it mentioned so much, maybe I'll d/l it today or whatever it is I'm supposed to do with it that is. I think the one that really shocked me was when I took the "color" test, I forget who's test it is, in college. It was so on the mark. The mere detail to which was alluded was truly amazing and rather stupefying.

I spent a large part of my day today with a friend of mine that I used to work with. We see each other once a year or twice a year depending and we get caught up on all the gossip and each other's misdeeds. I had lost touch with her after I got her online as she was, as most people do, spending most of her time online. Turns out her psycho husband actually spit at her one day  while she was on the computer as he thought she was having an affair, she wasn't, she is now though. She's met some doctor online and has talked to him, his daughter, and his mother over the phone. She's planning on going to meet him this summer and he's "almost" proposed, once she's divorced that is. I almost feel like this is my fault. My ratio of ruined homes VIA the net is not good. Seems everyone in my life that I get online ends up going through a total metamorphosis and having a life altering experience that they always claim is not a result of being online. *sigh* Maybe I just have friends who are searching for that extra something. But I'm resolving myself of all guilt as I know I'm not responsible for her actions at all.

I wonder though if she's using it as an excuse to escape other unpleasant things in her life. Her daughter is obesely overweight, highly dependent, and a recovering crack addict. She just cut ties to her one full blood sibling and her biological mother as well. She was one of those people that had a mini crisis when Lady Diana passed away. She married the man she'd lived with for 21 years, started a new career, and a few other things. Maybe this is just a continuation of the process. And perhaps the net has enabled her to find things that she never knew before and given her accesses that never existed.

Or she's like myself and prefers the fact that being online enables us to present the best us that we know. AKA everything we say and do, as well as that of those we talk to, is edited, thought through, and pre-screened. So naturally we can present the best version of ourselves that exists. I have many friends on the net, that when I sit down and think logically, I know I wouldn't even know them in RL. I've also met people that I knew for ages online in RL, and was quite taken with my perceptions compared to the reality of it. Yep, I flew across two countries to meet someone I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with, only to find out that I was spending a week with a complete lunatic. Needless to say I found a hotel and fast. But I was also at a point where I was definitely looking for an easy out, he was definitely not it.

I'm dreading the rest of this weekend. One of my staff had a life crisis and is off for the rest of the week. No one else is available as I know everyone has plans going on. Therefore I'm the one picking up all the slack. I wouldn't mind so much but I'm also covering for another guy when he leaves for two weeks in Miami middle of this month. But maybe I should just be thankful that these next two cheques could cinch my "apartment fund", which btw is in worse shape than I originally thought. The web cam has gone to the bottom of my priority list now. *sigh* I have to phone Greg and break it to him that yet one more week is gonna pass with us just seeing the bare minimum of each other. That's I guess where the majority of my frustrations come from. Oh well, c'est la  vie.

later...

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