it's days such as these that remind you how spectacular it feels to live. did something magnificently wondeful happen to me today? no...not really. other from the sun shining, that is. trust me. i had a really tough day. left my house at 7:30...came back from school at 9 pm. struggled through pointless physics problems. argued with my professor and peers for an hour. but the sun, remaining ever constant, so warm and powerful against my shoulder. embracing me with safety and the remindance that it feels so damn good to live. i suppose it's something i've lost sight of in the last two months, and today, it suddenly hit me i remember feeling this wonderful on a spectacular day such as this last year and i look back and i remember actually feeling the pain and joy that is the essence of life. soldiering along as i have done, i can honestly look back in retrospect and be overwhelmed with the feeling that i do love my life. i love living. i love the pain that reminds me i am living. i even love those horrible moments when i question who i am. it merely reminds me to feel. life is just so damn beautiful i almost feel special that i am capable of realizing this. it's as if i've been let in on this great secret of life. i just hope that you have moments, too, when you just let your soul be carried away in the flurry of warmth and be aware of your existence and the fact that you lead a very beautiful and precious life.
march 17th, 2000
"my soul is painted like the wings of butterflies.
fairytales of yesterday grow, but never die..."
Freddie Mercury
site currently under construction. miraculous of me, eh?