Thought Provokers

• One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
• Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
• Atheism is a non prophet organisation.
• If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
• I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
• If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
• If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
• And whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?
• If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him - is he still wrong?
• If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
• Is there another word for synonym?
• Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do is "practice"?
• Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
• What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
• If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
• Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
• Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
• If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
• Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
• Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
• If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
• Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
• How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
• Why do they sterilise the needles for lethal injections?
• Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
• Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
• What was the best thing before sliced bread?
• When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
• Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
• If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
• Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
• If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
• Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
• Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
• I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
• I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
• I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
• Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
• How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
• Join the Army, meet interesting people, then kill them.
• Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
• Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
• Wear short sleeves!  Support your right to bare arms!
• For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
• OK, so what's the speed of dark?
• Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
• Black holes are where God divided by zero.
• All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
• I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
• What do they pack styrofoam in?

We don't know were these origanated from. But they're funny. They were forwarded to us. We don't know where these origanated from. But they're funny. This page is located at Pile -O- Junk <https://members.tripod.com/~pileojunk>