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Music Season 1 theme song
Music Season 2 theme song
Jarod "Why is there a severed animal's limb hanging from your rearview mirror?"
Jarod " I can be anything I want to be."
Jarod "Catch me if you can."
Jarod "That is not a very nice thing to say to a man with a shovel!"
Jarod "Well that's a face only a mother could love."
Jarod "By the way, ice cream is good."
Jarod "I have a good imagination."
Jarod "Well I guess my luck just ran out."
Jarod "A cake with fruit baked right in? Thank you, this has to be delicious!"
Jarod "Trust in the Force, young Jedi."
Jarod "Patience Mr. Potatohead"
Jarod Bet you could tell me some tales, huh. "Well I do know this one about this little monkey and this man in the yellow hat."
Jarod Are you a doctor? "I am today."
Jarod "Is the Pope Catholic?" "I believe that's mandatory."
Jarod "Practice makes perfect."
Jarod "Were you a triage surgeon too?" "Only until I became a rodeo clown."
Jarod "Don't you love Christmas? It's so Christmasy."
Jarod Jarod is confused about Santa Claus
Jarod Jarod reads ‘The Night Before Christmas’
Jarod "Something terrible has happened."
Jarod "You see, that wasn't so difficult."
Jarod "Uh oh, technical difficulties."
Jarod "I've had a lot of practice in blending in, sir."
Jarod "What happens when you get to zero bottles of beer on the wall?"
Jarod "Twinkie cream - the food of the gods."
Jarod "That's a wrap."
Jarod "So much for the home team."
Jarod "Something bad is happening."
Jarod "So much for the home team."
Jarod "Something bad is happening."
Jarod "Whatever it takes..."
Jarod "Rumor has it you're feeling vaguely unfulfilled."
Jarod "Don't you get lonely here?"
Jarod "Hello..."
Jarod "Same bat time, same bat channel..."
Jarod "You are dealing with the devil."
Parker "The Centre wants him alive."
Parker "Lovely."
Parker "Oh, you must be feeling lucky today."
Parker "Make up your mind, Sydney! Be a scientist or a mommy. You can't be both."
Parker "Well now, let's see what the potatohead can do."
Parker "Relax. He's probably holed up in Whoville, experiencing the Grinch for the first time."
Parker "Who knows all the dirty secrets around here?" "Mr. Raines." "Score one for Captain Kangaroo."
Parker "Do you want me to hurt you?"
Parker "I have a gun, and I'll use it."
Parker "What part of this is hard to grasp?"
Parker "What am I in, the Twilight Zone?"
Parker "To women, Hell hath no fury."
Parker "You pick up women on the computer?"
Parker "Thank god you're back."
Parker "Do I look like I drive a minivan?"
Parker "Last night I went on a date." "You had a date!" "That's when two people actually meet instead of typing to each other on a computer keyboard."
Parker "It's The Centre. People have a tendancy to vanish."
Parker "Twitch and I'll be washing grey matter off the walls."
Parker "Boggles the mind . . ."
Parker "Right, and I'm the president of the PTA."
Parker "Let's just get this over with."
Parker "I'm officially in hell."
Broots "I think I'm gonna hurl."
Sydney "Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars."
Sydney "I fantasize about killing . . . killing him."
Sydney "You assume that he wants to help you." "Why wouldn't he?" "Just let this quack handle it. Hmm?"
Sydney "You're looking... refreshed." "New underpants will do that to you."
Mr. Lyle "I still don't understand the significance of this." "Jarod's sending you two a message." "Which is?" "You're going nowhere . . . fast."
Mr. Rains "You have my complete and total loyalty."
Mr. Rains "It's dangerous to deceive the Centre."