Hello, friends, my name is Debbie.
I've worked a 12 step spiritual program into my life,
for spiritual, emotional and mental health.
I don't have all the answers,
so I reach out to professionals for counselling
and I try to learn new ways to communicate, to think and act.
HONESTY IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS.
I've had to look at my childhood and all phases of my life
and do my "inner work" in order to make healthy changes for a better future.
I don't play the blame game anymore!
The work is my own.
I walk this journey alone mostly,
however I am blessed with various individuals who join me,
at various times during my journey in life,
they come and go as they choose.
This, my work, is a life long journey,
and not an easy task.
I face some tasks on a daily basis or as the issues arise, I know that it's a never ending process!
I am not ashamed to admit the truth about me, because I know today,
that the "truth" will set me free.
Sometimes the process of discovering the "truth" about me is painful
but so very much worth the lesson.
Emotional, mental and spiritual recovery for me has not been easy,
but living the way I used to was worse.
This is a life long journey and perfection is NOT THE GOAL.
I was born into an alcoholic home,
and my parents divorced when I was five.
Ever since I can remember,
I have always wanted to be loved, nurtured, validated
and cared about
and I always felt that I had to "do something"
or "be some way"
in order to be loved and accepted.
LEARNING TO LOVE AND ACCEPT MYSELF
IS ONE OF MY DEEPEST DESIRES AND DEFINITELY MY GOAL.
I left home when I was sixteen,
at seventeen I was a single parent to my first born daughter,
I named her "Charity",
she passed away after her second open heart
surgery
just prior to her turning seventeen months old.
Charity Dawn
June 16, 1975 - November 13, 1976
The only way I can describe the pain of my grief,
was that my heart inside my chest physically felt like it was on fire.
My heart ached and "BURNED" so deep.
That was when I really shut down emotionally
and put major walls up around my heart,
because I didn't want to feel "pain" like that again.
I still struggle with accepting life on life's terms,
but I am learning to take off my "God Suit" and to "let go".
I believe that I am a spiritual person having a human experience.
Today I truly want to be a part of the "solution" and not a part of the "problem".
NOTE, May 3, 2001:
My step-father passed away on June 10, 1999
after his 2 year battle with lung cancer.
The same month we got diagnosis of Ross' terminal cancer,
secondary in his liver & spleen.
Our belief in a "Power Greater than ourselves", sustains us daily.
Ross & I have known each other for over four years, our friendship has
grown, especially since the cancer hit and
on June 16, 2001 we are getting married as a celebration of
"LIFE" & "HOPE".
Debra & Ross, 1999
NOTE, August 14, 2001:
My dear, sweet husband passed away on
Friday, August 10th, 2001 at 7:40am.
HIS MEMORIAL PAGE
is found at
THE WATER-Ross Ward Via Debra Ward
Debra with Bear, January 2009
Any Comments?....Please sign my Guest Book!
