Make your own free website on Tripod.com
Be Kind Rewind (one act play)

	BE KIND, REWIND 

	ACT 1
	SCENE 1

The Scene opens in a video store FRANKIES FLICKS.  
Joan is standing behind the counter sorting out a few 
videos. She stops and goes over to the window and looks 
out.

	JOAN
		(Picking up the telephone, she dials a 
                 number)
Oh hello Frank it's Joan. . . . no. . . it's dead. . . 
. .The snows getting worse by the minute. It looks like 
we're in for a bad storm. . . . I think we should close 
early tonight Frank. . . .no . . . Oh, I understand that 
Frank, but. . . I don't think the buses are running. . 
. .right. . . .right . . . . oh right. . . .alright Frank
. . . I'll stay open, but I don't think David needs to 
come in. . . .okay, I'll call him. . . bye Frank.
		(She dials another number)
Hello, Mrs Marshall? It's Joan here from Frankies Flicks
. . . .yes it is bad out isn't it. . . actually that's 
why I'm calling. Can you please tell David not to bother 
coming in tonight, it's so quiet. . .
Oh. . . oh really. . .oh what a shame, I just missed him. 
Well I'll send him home when he gets in
. . . yes. . .oh right. . .right. . . oh really. . .
migraine. . . blood clot. . . 
		(She produces a bell from behind the 
                 counter and rings it)
Oh, someone just come in, I must run. I'll talk to you 
later Mrs Marshall. . .bye bye.
		(She dials another number)
Mike. . . it's me. . . your wife! I'm just calling to 
let you know I'm here till closing. . . Yes Mike, I know 
you're aware of what time I finish, but there's a bad 
storm out there tonight and I asked Frank if maybe. . . . 
I'm sorry I woke you. . . .no Mike, there's no other 
reason why I called. . . .bye. 
		(She replaces the receiver and continues 
                 to sort out returned videos. The door 
                 opens and a very snowy David comes in.)

	DAVID
		(Quoting)
Winter, slumbering in the open air, wears on it's face 
a dream. . . .of spring, ciao.

	JOAN
Oh, you made it.

	DAVID
No, Groundhog Day staring Bill Murray. 

	JOAN
I don't think I saw that one.

	DAVID
What! Like, It's awesome. Comedy section number seven 
eighty four. You should take it home tonight. 

	JOAN
I tried calling you. Tell you not to bother coming in 
because of the weather. Frank said he wants us to stay 
open but to tell you not to come in. It's dead tonight.

	DAVID
My sister gave me a ride and I'm here now.

	JOAN
So, are you going to stay?. . .because I don't mind if 
you want to go. It's dead anyway.

	DAVID
Yeah, you said. . . . .do you want me to leave?

	JOAN
		(Embarrassed)
Well, no, of course not. . . I'm just telling you what 
Frank said. You can stay if you like.. . or leave.

	DAVID
		(Quoting)
I'll soon be leaving for the planet Mongo in a rocket 
ship of my own design.

	JOAN
Sorry?

	DAVID
Flash Gordon. . . original movie. No, I'll stay. After 
all . . . . 
		(Quoting)
I've gotten so far away that leaving is just a formality, 
Malcolm. 
The Mean Season. . . Mariel Hemingway. . .great tits.
		(She looks at him in disgust)
Sorry.

	JOAN
Very well! You've made the effort to get here, so you may 
as well stay now. I don't really know what we can do 
though. 

	DAVID
We could always like, watch a movie.
		(A feeble attempt at humour)
	JOAN
		(She doesn't get it)
Yes, I suppose we could always do that.
 
	DAVID     
                (Taking off his coat and putting on his 
                 uniform)
So, old Frankie wants us to stay open tonight despite the 
storm of the century then.

	JOAN
He said there could be lots of customers tonight because 
of the weather being so bad.. But I've not had anyone in 
for well over two hours now.

	DAVID
And I doubt we will! Maybe the odd Eskimo. Hey, if an 
Eskimo came in what would he rent?

	JOAN
Is this a joke? Because I'm not very good at jokes. . . 

	DAVID
No, it's not a joke. Like, just say an Eskimo came in 
here tonight to rent a movie to take back to his igloo, 
what would he rent?

	JOAN
		(Making herself busy)
I don't know. . . . I've never really thought about what 
Eskimo's would rent.

	DAVID
		(Staring at her in disbelief, he then 
                 turns away and shakes his head.)
		(Sarcastically)
Oh, this is going to be a fun night.

	JOAN
There's no need to be sarcastic with me. I get enough of 
that at home without having to listen to it here too. 

	DAVID
I'm sorry, I was just trying to. . .lighten up the 
situation a little. . .It was just a game.

	JOAN
I'm not much good at games either.

	DAVID
I thought I'd like, try to relieve some of the tension.

	JOAN
		(Defensive)
Tension! What tension?
	
	DAVID
Alright. . .my mistake again, no tension here.
		(He starts to busy himself)
		(Pause)

	JOAN
                (Takes a second and thinks)
Frosty The Snowman. . . 
		(David looks at her)
Frosty The Snowman. . . . what an Eskimo might rent.

	DAVID
White Christmas.

	JOAN
Snow White.

	DAVID
Nanook Of The North.

	JOAN
Summer Holiday.

	DAVID
                 (confused)
Summer Holiday?

	JOAN
Well, yes. If I lived in all that snow I think I would 
want to watch a movie about sunshine and green fields 
and sparkling blue water. . . 
		(He stares at her, she looks away 
                 embarrassed)
I told you I'm not very good at games.

	DAVID
		(Going over to her)
No. . no. .you're right. Summer Holiday, that's a good 
old English film isn't it? If I was an Eskimo I'd like, 
want to watch sunny movies all day long. 
		(Quote)
I stole you! I will keep you! Before the sun sets you 
will come willingly to my arms.

        JOAN
		(She looks into his eyes not aware that 
                 he was quoting.)
I will?

        DAVID
The Conqueror, John Wayne.

	JOAN
		(She walks away embarrassed again)
Oh, yes, of course.

	DAVID
So, who's sarcastic to you at home, your kids?

	JOAN
What? Oh no, they're good kids. Spoilt rotten, but good 
kids. Besides they're both away at school right now.  
Sharon's at U of T and Paul's at McGill. 

	DAVID
It's hubby who's sarcastic then.

	JOAN
		(Indignant)
Excuse me! Mind your own business. 

	DAVID
You brought it up.

	JOAN
And I'll. . . .bring it down. You're a saucy young man 
for your age, you are.
		(She sits)

	DAVID
Saucy? Is that like, a good thing?

	JOAN
No, it's not a good thing. It means someone who is young 
and rude.

	DAVID
		(Walks over to her)
Like a naughty little boy you mean?

	JOAN
That's exactly what I mean.

	DAVID
		(He lays over the counter next to her)
You'd better spank me then.

	JOAN
		(Shocked)
Oh David! Get down!

	DAVID 
		(Laughter)
Come on spank the naughty boy.

	JOAN
		(Seeing the lighter side she playfully 
pats him and pushes him off)
Get down. . .
		(He falls on the floor and they both 
                 laugh)
Get up. . .someone might come in.

	DAVID
Get down. . .get up, Like, make your mind up.
		(They are still laughing)
		(Quote)
Yes, yes, You must give us all a good spanking.
Monty Python And The Holy Grail. Another good limey 
movie!

	JOAN
		(Getting up)
Whatever would anybody say if they should walk in! And 
if Frank should come. . .well!

	DAVID
He'd say "my turn"

	JOAN
Yes, I think he would.
		(Goes over to look outside)
Snows not letting up. I bet we wont get anyone in 
tonight. 

	DAVID
Good! Do you want a drink?

	JOAN
Yes, I think a cup of tea would be really nice.
		(She goes to walk into the back room 
                 to make it)
I'll make it.

	DAVID
TEA! Not tea!

	JOAN
Well, I don't usually drink coffee at night, but I 
suppose once isn't going to kill me.
		(She continues to prepare it)

	DAVID
		(Sarcastic)
Ooooh coffee!. . . you daredevil you.. . .
		(Quoting Jim Carrie)		
Alrighty then! Wait here. . . . 
		(Quoting Arnold)
I'll be back!
		(He goes into the back room)

	JOAN
I said I'll make it. 
		(She goes back behind the counter. 
                 Calling to him in the back room)
I think I will put a movie on. Anything in particular 
you'd like to watch?

	DAVID
		(Coming out of the room)
How about Whiskey Galore.

	JOAN
		(Looking at the titles book)
That's an old one. Do we have it?

	DAVID
Nineteen forty two. . . .Classics. . . number 325.

	JOAN
Oh yes, here it is. . . .how it is David that you know 
so much about movies.

	DAVID
		(Coming up behind her and bringing out a 
                 bottle of whisky)
Supreme intelligence! Here you are.

	JOAN
		(Shocked again)
Where did you get that? Put it away!

	DAVID
		(Opening it)
Oh, I intend to.

	JOAN
		(Flustered)
David! Bringing alcohol onto the premises is strictly 
forbidden! You know how Frank feels about it.

	DAVID
Yes, I do know. This is his whisky!. . . 
		(Pours some into two cups, hands her one 
                 and knocks his straight back.)
		(Quote)
Here's looking at you kid!
		(He almost chokes)

	JOAN
That'll teach you. What do you mean, this is his whisky? 
Frank doesn't drink, where did you find it?

	DAVID
		(Recovering)
Behind the poster box, he always keeps his supply there. 
Wow! That's strong stuff.

	JOAN
And what's he going to say when he discovers you've been 
drinking his. . . .his supply?

	DAVID
What can he say? We're not supposed to know about it, 
remember!. . .drink up.
		(He pours himself another)

	JOAN
I will not!

	DAVID
Prude!

	JOAN
I'm not a prude. . . .and I'm not a thief.

	DAVID
I'll replace it tomorrow. . .we're just borrowing it.

	JOAN
No.

	DAVID
Spoilsport.

	JOAN
I don't like whisky.

	DAVID
		(Getting a can of pop out of a cabinet, 
                 opening it an pouring it in her cup)
Here, try it with this.
		(Looking at her)
Come on, Joan. . . Like, I hate drinking alone.

	JOAN
You shouldn't be drinking at all. I doubt if you're even 
old enough to drink. . . . and I'm not a prude!
		(He stares at her. She picks up the cup 
                 and drinks it back)
There! Satisfied?

	DAVID
		(Quote)
What satisfaction canst thou have tonight?
Romeo and Juliet. Leonardo Dicaprio
		(He takes another drink, this time he takes 
                 it easier)

	JOAN
No, William Shakespear!

	DAVID
Was he in it?

	JOAN
He wrote it! . . . .Well, You're not old enough to know 
who William Shakespeare is, are you old enough to drink?

	DAVID
I know who Shakespeare is . . .I'm twenty one.

	JOAN
		(She pours him and herself another, and 
                 hands him the cup)
Bottoms up!
		(They knock them back, she looks outside 
                 and almost chokes)
Oh no! It's him . . . 

	DAVID
Frank?

	JOAN
No, it's that man. . .you know, who rents THOSE movies. 
The sex ones!

	DAVID
		(Going over to look out)
What, Pervert Pete. . . .It is! Pervert Pete, come to get 
his Friday night jolly movie.

	JOAN
Oh you serve him David!

	DAVID
I'm not serving him. . . 
		(He locks the door and rushes behind the 
                 counter and hides)

	JOAN
What are you doing?

	DAVID
Quickly! Hide, he's coming. . .

	JOAN
		(She rushes over to him)		
You can't do that.

	DAVID
You'd better duck down. . . . 

	JOAN
		(She ducks down next to him)
		(Whisper)
Oh. . .I can't believe we're doing this.

		(There is the sound of someone trying the 
                 door)

	
	DAVID
		(Can hardly control himself)
Sh!

		(There is a knock at the door)

	JOAN
		(Whisper)
He's knocking. . .he knows were here.

	DAVID
No he doesn't, it's a knock of desperation!

	JOAN
		(Goes to get up)
I'd better let him in.

	DAVID
		(Stops her)
You can't. . .what would he think if we should pop up from  
behind here?. . .
		(There is the sound of a couple of movies 
                 going into the return slot)
He's dropping off his movies.
		(He sneaks a look out)
He's leaving.
		(Joan looks too)

	JOAN
I can't believe I just hid from a customer! What if he 
tells Frank?

	DAVID
He's not going to tell Frank. . .don't be so paranoid!

	JOAN
I'm not paranoid!

	DAVID
		(Quote)
Your dads a paranoid nitwit. . .for the simple reason 
that he's a paranoid nitwit.
My Girl 2. . Jamie Lee Curtis and Dan Aykroyd. . .he's 
Canadian you know?

	JOAN
I don't care.

	DAVID
		(Quote)
You really "don't care" about anybody or anything except 
yourself,  do you?

	JOAN
		(Not realizing that he's quoting)
And you're a little shit!

	DAVID
No. . I was quoting! A movie! Leap Of Faith. . nineteen 
ninety two. It's Canadian!

	JOAN
Oh! Well you have to warn me when you're quoting stuff.

	DAVID
		(Flabbergasted)
Joan! I'm shocked! 

	JOAN
I. . . . thought you were saying that to me.

	DAVID
Say it again?

	JOAN
Say what?

	DAVID
You little Shit!
	
	JOAN
No! 

	DAVID
It sounds so much more refined when spoken with an 
English accent.
		(Quote in English accent)
Perhaps you would like me to wash you dick for you, you 
little shit!
Sir John Gielgud in Arthur. . . .you know. . .Dudly moore.

	JOAN
That's an interesting parody! You and Arthur.

	DAVID
Why do you say that?
		(Handing her a cup of whisky)

	JOAN
Both are spoilt little rich boys who drink too much.
		(Pushing the cup away)
No thank you.

	DAVID
		(Serious)
That's hitting a little below the belt isn't it?

	JOAN
I'm just giving back what I got from you.

	DAVID
No you're not. I never called you names or insulted you.

	JOAN
		(Looking at him and realizing that he's 
                 little upset)
I merely said spoilt little rich boy who drinks too much.

	DAVID
		(Quote)
Play it again Sam!
Not satisfied with saying it once, you have to repeat it.

	JOAN
Which part is upsetting you, spoilt little rich boy or 
drinks too much?

	DAVID
What part of frustrated, unhappy, old lady upsets you 
Joan?

		(Pause)

	JOAN
		(Starting to look busy again)
I think we've both drank too much and should forget about 
the whole conversation and do some work around here. It 
might be a good time to do some extra stock taking, what 
do you think?

	DAVID
I think I'm outa here. 
		
		(He grabs his coat and leaves. Joan stands 
                 there for minute then goes over to pick 
                 up the movies that were dropped off. She 
                 takes them over to the counter. She then 
                 picks up the telephone an dials)

	JOAN
Hello, Mike? How is everything?. . . .good . . .so, what 
you doing?. . . . oh, not much happening here either. 
Young David was here for a while, but he's gone now. . . . 
yes, till closing. . . . . okay. . . 
		(Trying to sound funny)
alrighty then!. . . I said "alrighty then". . . you know, 
Jim Carrie, Pet Detective. . .
		(Serious again)
Oh! Sorry. I just called to say hi. . .no, I wasn't 
"checking up on you". Look Mike, I'm sorry for 
disturbing you, I'll be home at the usual time. . . no, 
I'll take a cab. . . . then I'll walk! Go back to your 
hockey game. Bye.
		(She replaces the receiver)

		(The door opens and David enters looking 
                 very dejected covered with snow.)

	DAVID
No buses.

	JOAN
I know. 

	DAVID
I'll call a cab.

	JOAN
Well, I have to call a cab to get home myself, so why 
don't we share?. . . . You may as well stay now and 
rack up a few hours of pay. Just think of Franks 
reaction when he knows he has to pay us for being here 
and doing nothing. . . .and, I would appreciate the 
company.

	DAVID
		(Taking off his coat)
		(Quote)
Then put some more coal on the fire Bob Cratchet, you 
do it before you dot another I.

	JOAN
		(Excitedly)
Ooh! ooh! I know this one. . . .don't tell me. . . . A 
Christmas Carol with Alistair Sim

	DAVID
Very good! 
		(Quote in English accent)
And a Merry Christmas to you to, if it ain't out of 
keeping with the situation. 

	JOAN
Wonderful old classic.

	DAVID
		(Picking up the movies that Joan placed 
                 there)
The best.. . . . Are these's pervert Petes movies?

	JOAN
Yes. I'd better sign them in. . .
		(She types into the computer)

	DAVID
Let's see now. . . . Hey, I think you're wrong about Pete!

	JOAN
Why?

	DAVID
He's not into sex movies, he's obviously a science 
fiction fan.

	JOAN
		(Taking them from him)
Let me see. . . .My Alien, My Lover, and Space Girls From 
Uranus!. . .David!

	DAVID
What? He's totally misunderstood.
		(Quote)
Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the 
starship Enterprise. It's five year mission to explore 
strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new 
civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone 
before. . . . 
		(holds up the movie)
Uranus!
		(He laughs, Joan smiles)	

	JOAN
Sorry for saying what I said to you earlier.

	DAVID
No sweat! I'm not a spoiled little rich boy you know
. . . . I mean, like, my dad owns a bunch of places and 
stuff, but he doesn't hand money to me on a platter or 
anything like that. He believes that we have to earn our 
money like he had to, the hard way.

	JOAN
He sounds like a good man with high principles. 

	DAVID
No, he's just cheap. You asked me earlier how I got to 
know so much about movies. . . .well like, that's all 
I've ever known. My parents were never home, so I'd 
spend all my time watching movies. Morning noon and 
night. I wanted to be a part of them. I knew they 
weren't real, but at least they would take me away from 
my own life for a while. . .hey, beats drugs!

	JOAN
And drink!

	DAVID
Let's not go that far. So, what kind of movies do you 
like?

	JOAN
Oh, er' well. . . I like the classics, and films like 
Sleepless In Seattle, and As Good As It Gets.

	DAVID
Ya typical "chick flicks" lovey dovey films. 

	JOAN
How about you?

	DAVID
The Terminator. . . Aliens one and two. . . . Dead 
Presidents. . . . war movies in general.

	JOAN
Ya typical "guy flicks" action killing films. I bet you 
like the odd lovey dovey film David.

	DAVID
Never.

	JOAN
Come on. . . . .you can tell me.

	DAVID
What? No! Leave me alone, I hate soppy love films.

	JOAN
		(Whispering) 
I won't breathe a word to anyone.

	DAVID
		(Quote)
The life I was trying for is gone, and I'm feeling so 
darn hard for myself that it's hard to breathe.

	JOAN
As Good As It Gets! There, see, now the only way I know 
that is because I've seen it several time . How would 
you know that without seeing it over and over again? 
You're not being honest with me.

	DAVID
		(Getting defensive)
What. . . . I have not seen it over and over again . . .
I saw it once. I just know quotes that's all.

	JOAN
You can see a film once and remember it word for word?

	DAVID
No, not word for word. . . .just certain saying, they kind 
of stick with me.

	JOAN
That's amazing! You should go on the TV. 

	DAVID
Thank you.

	JOAN
Well!. . . .I'm waiting.

	DAVID
Waiting for what?

	JOAN
Don't think you can dazzle me with your incredible 
powers of movie trivia.  I want to know what film that 
wasn't an action or killing film, that you fell in love 
with.. . . .David. . . I'm waiting. . . 

	DAVID
Alright! God you sound like my teacher! There is one 
film. . . .but you have to promise not to tell anyone.

	JOAN
		(Crossing her heart)
Cross my heart

	DAVID
		(He leans into her and talks low)
My Grandmother used to put one particular movie on 
whenever I used to go and visit her.

	JOAN
		(Intense)
Yes. . . . 

	DAVID
I've taken it home a few times since I came to work here. 
I'd like, wait until everyone was out and then put it on.

	JOAN
Yes, what is it?

	DAVID
I can't believe I'm telling you this. . . . . 
		(He whispers it in her ear, She goes to 
                 say it but he puts his finger on her 
                 lips.)
Sh! You don't know who could be listening.

	JOAN
		(Whisper)
Wonderful choice. I won't breathe a word to anyone. You 
romantic little bugger you.

	DAVID
Yep! Regular little stud I am.

	JOAN
Talking of romance, do you have a girlfriend?

	DAVID
Yeah. . .well no. . . yeah. . .kind of.

	JOAN
What's a "kind of" girlfriend?

	DAVID
She's not really my girlfriend, more of a friend really. 
I've not like, asked her out or anything.

	JOAN
Why not?

	DAVID
Well. Like. . . for one thing, she doesn't drive, and I 
don't drive, so going out on dates would be difficult.

	JOAN
There's always public transportation.

	DAVID
Now, how would that look, taking a girl out on a date 
and standing at the bus stop waiting for the bus to 
Armor hill.?

	JOAN
That's what Mike and me used to do.

	DAVID
Yeah, but that was. . . the olden days.

	JOAN
Well, thank you very much.

	DAVID
I don't mean it like that. It's just, not done that way 
anymore. And the other reason is like, she's already got 
a boyfriend.

	JOAN
Now that reason I can understand. Why would you bother 
with her then if she's already seeing someone else?

	DAVID
Because I like her, and besides, her boyfriend is seeing 
another girl. It's. . .complicated.. . .the nineties!

	JOAN
Then give me the sixties! 


	DAVID
		(Quoting)
I never did drugs in the sixties. . I was an accountant.
Hook. . .with Robin Williams. 

	JOAN
Well, if I were you, I'd find another sweet young thing 
who's life wasn't so "complicated"

	DAVID
It's not easy you know. . . .meeting girls, and asking 
them out.

	JOAN
I know it's not easy, it never has been, even in "the 
olden days" But a good looking, intelligent young man 
like you should have them lining up to go out with you.

	DAVID
I know!! That's exactly what I think!
		(They both laugh)
How about you? You're not exactly ugly. I bet you were 
like, a real babe when you were my age.

	JOAN
		(Embarrassed but flattered)
Well, I did have my fair share of eligible young men 
calling on me.

	DAVID
I bet you did. . . .so how come you ended up with a 
jerk. . . .
		(Realizing what he'd said)
sorry!. . . what I mean is. . . 

	JOAN
Oh, don't apologize. I know how it must look to others. 
He does come across like a. . .jerk sometimes. . .
		(He looks at her)
alright, most times! But he wasn't always like that. When 
I first moved here from England it was so hard. I was 
eighteen years old and felt very alone leaving all my 
friends and most of my family back home. That was until I 
met Mike. . . . he was twenty one too. Oh, he was the most 
handsome man I'd ever seen. Tall and muscular. He simply 
swept me off my feet.

	DAVID
So what happened?

	JOAN
Work, kids, loans, mortgages, time happened. Time can 
cruel sometimes. I think he still loves me, it's just 
that the spark seems to have gone out of it.

	DAVID
Sparks don't last very long. Maybe you need to relight 
the fuse.
		(She stares at him, waiting)
What?

	JOAN
I'm waiting to hear from what movie you got that one.

	DAVID
I didn't. . . that was me.

	JOAN
David. . . I am impressed. . . .and I think you're right. 
His fuse is definitely in need of relighting!. . . .Mind 
you, It'll probably take a gallon of gasoline to do it.
		(They both laugh.)
The last time I saw sparks in my house the kettle blew up.
		(They burst into laughter)

	DAVID
You know, you are very funny when you let your hair down 
a little.

	JOAN
		(Recovering)
Well I'm not usually like this. . it must be the booze. 
Quickly. . .pour me another.
		(They laugh again as he pours her a 
                 drink.)
Here. . . I got one for you. . . 
		(Quote)
A toast, to my big brother George, the richest man in town.
		(She drinks it back in one drink)

	DAVID
James Stewart in It's A Wonderful Life!

	JOAN
Correct, for two hundred dollars and a year supply of 
potato chips.

	DAVID
There is another girl, at school, who I like. . . .well, 
more than like really.

	JOAN
What's her name?

	DAVID
Shelby. She is drop dead gorgeous.

	JOAN
Well have you asked her out?

	DAVID
No. Every time I try to talk to her like,  I end up making 
a fool of myself.

	JOAN
What kind of things are you saying to her then?

	DAVID
I don't know. . .things.

	JOAN
Right. . .
		(Takes another drink)
a little role playing here. I'll be. . .what's her name?

	DAVID
Shelby.

	JOAN
Shelby. . . .oh, Steel Magnolias. . . .Very sad film. . .
anyway, I'll be Shelby and you be you. I'm at a dance, 
standing alone, and you look over and see me. . . .what 
do you say.

	DAVID
		(Reluctant)
Oh, I don't know, I can't do it.

	JOAN
Of course you can sweetheart. . . .come on
		(She pretends to be standing in a dance 
                 hall)
Oh what a great tune, I wish someone would come over and 
ask me to dance. . . 

	DAVID
		(He starts laughing)
Joan. . . 

	JOAN
Oh I'm so lonely, why doesn't anyone want to dance with 
me?. . .

	DAVID
		(Quote)
Hey baby, why don't ya come on over to my pad, we'll have 
a scotch and sofa.

	JOAN
No, David. . .you're going to have to do better than that.

	DAVID
		(Quote)
Excuse me, do you know if there are any personages of 
historical significance around here?

	JOAN
		(Going over to him)
David, do you mind if I ask you a question?

	DAVID
Fire away.

	JOAN
Were you quoting lines from movies then?

	DAVID
Yeah.

	JOAN
Why?

	DAVID
Because I always do when I have to talk to someone, 
especially a girl I like.

	JOAN
I see. . .well this time, try it again, but don't quote
. . .just be you.

	DAVID
I can't.

	JOAN
What do you mean you can't? You don't need the movies 
David.

	DAVID
I do!. . . .It's like, . . . .easier when I use the stuff 
from movies.

	JOAN
But they're not your lines, those lines belong to somebody 
else! Try it again but this time just be you.

	DAVID
		(Getting upset)
I don't like being me!!. . . . When I try to be me. . .I . 
. .I get all mixed up.

	JOAN
I get mixed up sometimes too when I talk to people. And I 
don't always like being me. But it's all I have. It's all 
any of us have. Just try it. . .please.
		(Pretends again to be waiting to be asked 
                 to dance)
Here I am again, waiting. . . la. .la. . la . .la

	DAVID
Hi.

	JOAN
Oh, hi.

	DAVID
Er. . . .hi. . . 

	JOAN
You said that already.

	DAVID
I don't want to play this any more. . .
		(He rushes into the back room)

	JOAN
David!. . .David. . . .David, I'm sorry love. . .
		(She goes back behind the counter. She 
                 then looks at the rack of films 
		 and goes over and takes one and puts it 
                 into the video and turns it and 
		 the TV on. 
		(To herself)
Fast forward. . . . . .
		(Calling again)
David!. . .David please.

	DAVID
		(From the back room)
What?

	JOAN
David. . . . .I want to talk to you a minute . . . .will 
you come out here please.

	DAVID
I'm busy.

	JOAN
You're busy doing what?

	DAVID
I'm cleaning the stock room.

	JOAN
		(She stops the tape)
There!. . . . .David, I want to play something for you.

	DAVID
I'm busy.

	JOAN
Right!
		
		(She turns on the video and turns up the 
                 volume. It is the soundtrack to Gone With 
                 The Wind.)

	DAVID
		(From back room)
Joan, that's not fair. . . 
		(He comes out)

	JOAN
What's not fair?

	DAVID
I told you that in confidence.

	JOAN
And it's still our little secret. There's no one else 
around. This just happens to be one of my favorite 
movies too.. . .Now, Try it again. . . You're Rhett and 
I'm Scarlet. You don't need the movie quotes just think 
of the music and relax.. . . . .
		(She pretends to be waiting again)

	DAVID
Hello. . . . my names Dave.. . .and like er'. . . I have 
to admit that I've been standing over there and looking 
at you for a very long time.

	JOAN
		(Softly)
Really. . . why?

	DAVID
Well, I was standing there wondering what it felt like to 
dance with such a neat looking girl, and I've decided 
that the only way to find out was to come over and ask you.
		(He holds out his hand and she takes it. 
                 The music seems to get louder As they 
                 dance and she looks into his eyes. They 
                 stop dancing and they stare at each other.  
                 There is a long silent pause and they lean 
                 into each other and kiss. He then lets go 
                 and walks away. She doesn't move as if 
                 she's in a trance)

	DAVID
Hey, that was cool! You're right, I didn't need the movie 
quotes or anything. It wasn't even like I was trying. I 
just knew what to say. What do think?

	JOAN
		(She starts to come back to life)
Sorry?

	DAVID
How did I do. . . okay?

	JOAN
		(Can hardly say it)
Okay!

	DAVID
		(Going back over to her)
Are you alright? . . . .you look kind of funny.

	JOAN
No, I'm fine . . .
		(She moves, fanning herself)
Is it kind of hot in here or is it me?

	DAVID
I'm not hot. But I can turn the heat down if you like?

	JOAN
Oh no, that's okay. . . .probably just a hot flash or 
something.

	DAVID
Oh yeah, my mom gets them. You're a lot like my mom, you 
know. . . . she's real cool too. . . but you're cooler. 

	JOAN
		(Back down to earth with a bump!)
Thank you David. . .that's a nice compliment.

		(The sound of a horn is heard outside)

	DAVID
		(Looking out)
I think it's your husband. . . .

	JOAN
		(Going over to look out)
Mike!. . . .it is Mike.
		(She looks at her watch)
Is it that  time already?

	DAVID
Yeah, it is.. . .I thought you were going to get a cab 
home?

	JOAN
So did I. . . .I guess Mike must have decided to come and 
get me.

	DAVID
In this weather!. . .he can't be all that bad eh?

	JOAN
No, he can't be all that bad. 

	DAVID
		(He looks outside again)
Oh, here's my Dad, I guess he can't be all that bad either.

	JOAN
I'd better turn this off.
		(She goes over and turns off the tape, 
                 then gets her coat)

	DAVID
Don't forget Joan. . . . Be kind, rewind!

	JOAN
I'll do it in the morning.. . .I'd better get going.

	DAVID
		(Quote in southern droll)
If you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?

	JOAN
		(Quote)
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.. . .
I'll see you tomorrow.
		(She opens the door)

	DAVID
		(Quote)
After all. . . 

	BOTH
Tomorrow is another day.
		(They both exit and close the door behind 
                 them)

	

	The End.