1. All team names have to be clean, Ox.

2. Initial budget is £65 million. Further £7.5m 1st week in October. Further £5m 1/1/2000.

3. Teams must consist of the following - 1 goalkeeper, 2 Full Backs, 2 Centre Backs, 4 Midfielders & 2 Strikers.

4. All team changes to royalff@yahoo.com to be datestamped on or before the Friday before the weekends fixtures.

5. You can only change your team once a week, changes are effected for Sat through Friday inclusive.

6. All points are taken from The Times on a weekly basis.

7. Hoping to start the season on 11th September.

Back home: We know a song about that

3 points for a goal

2 points for an assist

defence -

1 point for every appearance (45 minutes or more)

2 points extra for a clean sheet

-1 point for every goal conceded

-1 point for any player not fielded in your 11.

ie, Leeds 0 Spurs 1

Leeds defenders will score 0 points (1 point for the appearance - 1 for the goal)

Spurs defenders will score 3 points (1 point for the appearance, +2 for the clean sheet)

Bit complicated this. Deep breath (you, not me. Silly). If you sell a player back to the pool then you get 50% of what you paid for him (or her, in David Beckam's case). If you want to bid for a player you can do this at ANY time by sending an electronic memorandum to royalff@yahoo.com, again this has to be at least 20% of The Times published price for the player. When a bid is received notification will be sent to all other Managers that a sealed bid for player X has been received and a deadline for counter bids set (normally one week later). You should title your e-mail 'Closed Bid for Player X' or similar so that we won't read it. Honest, we won't. But we'll then know who it's from and who it's for. Other Manager's will not know who the bid has come from. The highest bidder will get the player, in the event of a tie, the original bidder will get the player, especially if they've bought me beer.

Transfer's between clubs are even more complicated. Basically you can transfer whoever you like between clubs, approach other managers whenever and however you like and harass whoever you like for as long as you like. However, transfers between clubs must be seen to be of a reasonable nature, and as such the value of a transfer one way must not exceed 50% of the value the other way. Here's an example...

Top Striker PUBLISHED price £10m swapped with Crap Defender PUBLISHED price £2m would not work cos there is an 80% difference in price.

Top Striker £10m swapped with Crap defender £2m plus Top Midfielder £3m WOULD work cos the difference in PUBLILSHED price is 50%

The PUBLISHED price is the price in The Times, NOT the price you paid.

If at any time Steve and I suspect collaboration or bonding we reserve the right to set Titty on you for a good slapping.