Just One Quick Question:
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.
St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it." The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.
St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?" Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered, "about 1,500." "That' s right! You may enter."
St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "Name them."
- Dot all your "i"s with smiley faces. - Sing into your hairbrush. - Grow a milk mustache. - Read the funnies; throw the rest of the paper away. - Dunk your cookies. - Step carefully over sidewalk cracks. - Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich. - Give someone a hug around the neck. - Blow the wrapper off a straw. - Refuse to eat crusts. - Make a face the next time somebody tells you "No." - Ask "Why?" a lot. - Have someone read you a story. - Wear your favorite shirt with your favorite pants even if they don't match. - Eat dessert first. - Say "duh" when stuff is obvious. - Put an orange slice in your mouth, peel side out, and smile at people. - Innocently say your prayers. - Ride a roller coaster two times in a row. - Run through the sprinkler with all your clothes on. - Lick all the cream out of an Oreo before you eat the cookie part. - Eat just the chocolate stripe out of your Neapolitan ice cream. - Start thinking now about what you want for your next birthday. - Lie on your back in a field and look at pictures in the clouds.