Written and Directed by Michael Nesmith
Original Air Date on ABC: February 17,
1997
Transcript from television broadcast by Estrella
Lee
35 INT. WMP COUNTRY CLUB, MAIN ROOM
MANAGER is handing the MONKEES their wages after the guests have left.
MANAGER
You
fellows are certainly pros! A happy
ending, and
no story! I get my lease
renewed for
99 years and there's
absolutely
no dialogue about it. There's
no stupid
chases. There's no silly scenes
and exposition,
just stacks of goofy jokes
(SCREEN is upside-down)
and
silly special effects.
(Returns right side up)
Thanks
to you.
PRINCESS
And
it was a dream come true for me as
well, to see
the four of you all together
like this.
Even though you're all grown
up, you're
just as stupid as you ever were!
MICKY
(aside to others)
Ooo!
PRINCESS
Oh,
and Davy, I found out how old I am!!
DAVY
(feigning interest)
Oh,
really? How old?
A beat.
PRINCESS
(disappointed)
I
forgot.
MIKE
(aside)
What
a maroon!
36 EXT.STREETS OF LA - NIGHT
The MONKEEMOBILE with the MONKEES is returning to the pad after an interesting night with the concert and meeting Princess.
PETER
(referring to DIMENSION
MACHINE)
You
guys mind if I play with this?
MIKE
No,
go ahead!
PETER presses 1ST DIMENSION BUTTON. SCREEN turns into previously mentioned set-up for the first dimension.
DAVY
So,
what episode was that? 781 or ...
PETER PRESSES 2ND DIMENSION BUTTON. SCREEN turns into previously mentioned set-up for the 2nd dimension.
MIKE
Yeah,
781.
PETER PRESSES SIXTIES BUTTON. MONKEES revert back to the sixties.
MICKY
I
wonder if the general public knows
that shows
like ours never die and that
they just
go on and on even though
they're not
being broadcasted.
PETER PRESSES 4TH DIMENSION BUTTON. SCREEN turns into previously mentioned set-up for the 4th dimension.
DAVY
The
Princess does! She's still
watching new
episodes of 'The Flying
Nun'!
Everybody laughs. PETER PRESSES 3RD DIMENSION BUTTON. DAVY imitates Princess' snort laugh. Everybody laughs again.
PETER
And
'Charlie's Angels' and 'MASH' and
'Cheers' and
... and ...
(noticing something seriously unusual)
Whoa
...
It's the PAD COVERED IN TOILET PAPER.
DAVY
Uh-oh.
MIKE
(softly)
Ho-ly
smokes.
They DRIVE UP TO THE PAD, and step out. They look at the work in half awe and half sad.
MIKE
They
papered the house!
PETER
You
know, it doesn't look half bad!
MICKY
Well,
might as well finish it off!
(starts to put finger in mouth)
DAVY
(stopping MICKY)
And
the show? 'Cause this will finish
up the rest
of the production budget,
right?
MIKE
Well,
this place is good as any. Endings
are always
hard.
MICKY
Well?
MIKE, DAVY, and PETER cover their ears.
MICKY
Here
goes!!
MICKY sticks finger in mouth and SPEWS OUT CONFETTI and FIREWORKS. SPECIAL EFFECTS DISAPATES and then CAMERA FREEZES for a few seconds on the group in a celebratory stance.
CUT TO:
[ENDING CREDITS]