Card-Carrying Red Shoes

Three of the four Monkees take on the job
of being a band for a Druvainian ballet company.
The lead female dancer is secretly being used for microfilm transport.
During the rehearsal she admires Peter's face, and also sneaks away.
The Monkees find out she rode to the pad with them,
finds out she wants to defect, tries to contact the Druvainian Ambassador,
only afterward Peter is kidnapped for questioning.
Through a series of plans they get back Peter before he is shot,
and defeat the enemy without causing an international incident.
DAVY:  "You know, that's hard to believe, we lug this thing
with all our instruments in it and they make us play these...."
MICKY:  "These Druvanian instruments are really weird!
I don't know how to make a sound out of it!!"

NICOLAI: "Prepare yourself, rehearsal band!
Natasha Pavlov will soon be ready to dance!"
MICKY:  Mickyolvich Dolenzovich will soon be ready to play!"
NICOLAI:  "How soon will Dolenzovich will be ready?"
MICKY:  "As soon as Dolenzovich finds out which end to put in his mouth!!"

DAVY:  "Now, let's understand this!  You mean, you're going
to shoot us and keep him because of his face?!
Well, what do you think this is?!  Chop liver?!"
PETER:  "It can't be you every week, Davy!"
MICKY:  "Now, now look, miss.  You know guns never really solve anything. 
They're not the solution to the problem, they're only a coward's way out.  
Wouldn't you rather talk, talk it over instead of hiding behind a gun? 
Now, why don't you give it to me?
"Alright, hands up!  You're taking orders from me!"
DAVY:  "Oh, no, no!!!!!"
MICKY:  "Not you, ding-a-ling!"
PETER:  "You can't do this Micky!"
MICKY:  "Shut up, Face!  You're going to walk down Primrose Lane 
with Babuska here while Jones and I are going to walk The Last Mile, 
The Road of No Return, The Last Goodbye!"
DAVY:  "Yeah, the primrose, and the lane and the -- what, what is all this stuff?"
MICKY:  "I have no idea! 
Not bad for a long-haired weirdo, huh, America?"

PETER:  "Natasha, it's me, The Face!"
NATASHA:  "Go away, Face!!"
PETER:  "Don't worry, Natasha!!  I won't let them take you away!!"
DAVY:  "But, Peter, she's a big star!!  This could lead to an 
international incident!!  Maybe war;  the whole world could be destroyed!!"
PETER:  "Don't worry, if the whole world is destroyed,
I'll take responsibility!!!"
MICKY:  "With a little more ego, he could be President!!"

NATASHA:  "And they came, and they took him away,
and they said they would make him talk!!"
MICKY:  "Talk?!  Never!!  They could could torture him,
beat him, drug him, he will never talk!  There's one torture
he can't stand, and I'm afraid they will use!"
NATASHA:  "What's that?!?"
MICKY:  "Direct questioning!!"

NYETOEVICH:  "Who are you?!?!"
MICKY:  "We are investigating the disappearance of Natasha Pavlov!!"
NYETOEVICH:  "Are you from the MKVD?"
DAVY:  "No, we're from the BVD."
NYETOEVICH:  "I've never heard of the BVD."
DAVY:  "Well, we investigate the MKBVD 'cause 
we're an undercover organization that undercovers the--"
MICKY:  "We cover the unders and when we're 
under the covers the BVD is known as the underwear."

DAVY:  "Natasha, Natasha, did you find Peter?!"
NATASHA:  "No, no, not yet!!"
DAVY:  "Oh, Ivan the Terrible must have hidden him someplace!!!"
MICKY:  "Oh, I saw him go next door!!  
Only if we could hear them!  Do you have a glass?"
DAVY:  "Sure, I have a glass!!"
MICKY:  "I saw this in a movie once!"
DAVY:  "Well, what do you hear?!?"
OPERATOR:  "I'm sorry, you have reached a disconnected wall!!!"
 
<= No red ballerina shoes have been ripped during the making of this film.