Hillbilly Honeymoon (Double Barrel
Shotgun Wedding)
Original Air date: 23 October 1967
(Jack Winter)
Directed by James Frawley
Monkees: Micky and Mike
Hillbilly Honeymoon (Double Barrel
Shotgun Wedding)
Original Air date: 23 October 1967
(Jack Winter)
Directed by James Frawley
Monkees: Micky and Mike
INT. WESKITT HOUSE. DAY
In this scene, DAVY has been recaptured
by the Chubber clan
and reforced to marry Ella Mae.
MIKE and MICKY run over
to the Weskitts house to get JUDD to marry
Ella Mae, before
DAVY does. MIKE and MICKY are considered
cousins of
the Weskitts.
MA WESKITT is preparing her pipe.
Enter MICKY.
MICKY
Where's Judd?
MA
Over there!
MIKE comes in after MICKY.
MICKY waits for MIKE.
MIKE (to MA)
Where's Judd?
MA
Same place!!
MIKE and MICKY spot JUDD by his vat.
They hurry to him.
MIKE (cool, but a bit rushed)
Judd.
MICKY (same as MIKE)
Judd.
JUDD
What?
MIKE (softly, but rushed)
Come here. We gotta talk to you.
JUDD (confused)
What??
MIKE and MICKY bring JUDD to the
center of the room.
MIKE (quickly)
Ella Mae Chubber is getting hitched.
JUDD (nonchalant)
Well, what happened? Did Chubbers'
horse die?
MIKE (confused)
Did the Chubbers' horse-- No. No, not
the wagon, man! She's getting married!!
While speaking JUDD gets his shotgun.
JUDD (flustered)
Married!?! Married!! Where's my gun?!
Where's my gun?!?! I'll kill him!! Where's he?
I'll kill him!! Who is he?
MIKE grabs the shotgun out of
JUDD's hand.
MIKE
That's not the way to work it out!!
While speaking MIKE shoves the gun
MIKE
JUDD
MICKY
MIKE
JUDD
MIKE
(CUT)
nbsp;
right in front of MICKY and himself.
Because of MICKY's reflexes, MICKY
takes a hold of the gun with both of his
hands on top of MIKE's. The barrel is
facing up. MIKE places his fists on top
of MICKY's. They both continue to pile
their fists until both Monkees' fists are
in the air, above the barrel. JUDD has
reclaimed the shotgun before it could
fall. MIKE and MICKY notice this and
put their hands away.
MIKE takes JUDD aside.
Look, Judd. If you want to be qualified,
for Ella Mae, you've gotta treat her like
a gentleman.
But she's a girl!!
Isn't that dumb!?
You've gotta be sweet instead of surly.
You've gotta be tender instead of
taciturned. You've gotta--you've gotta
be amiable instead of angry.
And then what?
Then what? Well, you can ask yourself,
'whatever happened to the good ol Judd Weskitt?'.
<=
Judd Weskitt and Davy
INT.MONKEES' PAD.LATE EVENING
The Monkees know that Henry is up to no
good with this seance of his uncle Elmer.
They need to find a way to set things
right
before Henry gets the money. And
besides
that they need to get some sleep!!
My
VCR ate the video cassette that contained
this
episode, so I can't give the dialogue which
gives
"Isn't that dumb?". All I remember is that
Mike
says something intellectual and Peter
replies
he'll get his bankbook.
INT. CABOT LODGE. DAY
The Monkees have just arrived at Henry
Cabot Lodge
after taking in the local scenery.
They're not too thrilled
getting a gig at a retirement hot spot,
but they make the
most of it.
Enter THE MONKEES with their carryon
ANGLE - BLAUNER walking towards MONKEES
BLAUNER
Hold it!! What's all the noise about?!
Hold it!! What -- oh, of course! You
must be the boys from the band!
Wonderful, wonderful!!
ANGLE - MIKE, DAVY, PETER
MIKE
Wonderful? It is??
ANGLE - BLAUNER
BLAUNER
It's amazing how quickly you
got up here!
ANGLE - MIKE, DAVY, PETER
MIKE
Thank you, we pack sort of fast!
ANGLE - MICKY
MICKY's suitcase opens and clothes falls out.
MIKE (O.S.)
And we unpack sort of fast, too!
ANGLE - MICKY (C.U.)
MICKY (to camera)
Isn't that dumb?!
(CUT)
Monkees In Texas
Original Air date: 4 December 1967
(Jack Winter)
Directed by James Frawley
Monkees: Davy and Peter
INT.NESMITH RANCH.DAY
In this scene, DAVY is alone at the Nesmith
ranch with AUNT KATE,
and Cousin LUCY. Black Bart's henchman,
Sneak, informed Red
that DAVY is alone. MICKY and PETER,
disguised as henchmen wannabes
overhear this. PETER is sent to
the Nesmith ranch to warn them;
however PETER has ten minutes to warn
them and get back to
Black Bart's hideout.
Enter PETER on horseback.
PETER (frantic)
Black Bart's coming!!
Black Bart's coming!!
DAVY
Peter, what are you doing with a
horse in the house?
PETER (calmly)
I went to the barn, but there wasn't
anybody there.
AUNT KATE (to camera)
Isn't that dumb!?
(CUT)
Monkees On The Wheel
Original Air date: 11 December 1967
(Coslough Johnson)
Directed by Jerry Shepard
Monkees: Micky, Davy, Mike, and Peter
INT.CASINO.NIGHT?
The scene was actually part of the plot
unlike the STTPC scene.
In order to find the crooks behind
the rigging of the roulette
wheel, The Monkees disguise themselves
as mobsters. At the
roulette table, they run into a real mob
henchman, BIGGY,
who is curious about these strangers.
MICKY acts as the new gang's leader, and
PETER is the professor.
ANGLE - BIGGY, MICKY, PETER
MICKY
Vicious Killer here spent two
years in solitary confinement.
BIGGY
Was it tough?
MICKY
Nah, he did it standing on his head.
ANGLE - MIKE, upside down
ANGLE - BIGGY, MICKY, PETER
BIGGY
Good, I'll give him two more years to
get back on his feet again.
ANGLE - ROULETTE DEALER
DEALER
If you're not going to gamble, will you
please hurry up, please!!
ANGLE - MICKY, BIGGY, PETER
BIGGY (to PETER)
What do you do for this gang?
PETER
We're here to take over this town
and win all the money!
BIGGY(curious)
How?
PETER
Well, I have this system, see it's
*almost* perfected. You square the
linear coefficient of the cube root,
raised to the power of x, and then we
invert the logarithms like this, and
now we add seven plus five, which equals
eleven, and we extrapolate the third--
BIGGY holds up five fingers
BIGGY
Hold it! Hold it!! Seven plus five
equals twelve.
PETER slowly raises seven of his own fingers
next to
BIGGY's five. PETER then mentally
counts.
PETER (estatic)
You're right! You're right! You're
right!!! This perfects my system! My
system is perfect!!!
ANGLE - MIKE, upside down
MIKE (to camera)
Isn't that dumb??
CUT TO:
In this scene, The Professor(PETER), again,
has to use
his educational wits to get the mob off
The Monkees back.
He is faced with BOSS, and uses a more
affable approach.
ANGLE - BOSS, PETER
BOSS
Go ahead and talk!
PETER
Well, it depends on the equalization
of ratios!
ANGLE - BIGGY, BOSS, PETER
BIGGY
Oh, it's the old equalization of ratios bit, eh?
PETER
Right!
BOSS smacks BIGGY on the face
ANGLE - BOSS, PETER
BOSS
Go ahead!
PETER
Well, it's equal things are a, when you put them--
ANGLE - PETER to the wet bar and back
PETER
First of all, you take two glasses, the
same amount in both.
ANGLE - BIGGY, BOSS, PETER
PETER
They have equal amounts in them, and therefore
they are the same as each other. But they 're
different! See you take this one, and you take this,
and you'll see if you drink together that you will find
that they are unequal. And that when they are unequal,
that the ratios can not be equalized!
ANGLE - BIGGY, BOSS, PETER
PETER has more glasses of ratios
PETER
Here have a little of this, and have a little of that. Here.
ANGLE - BOSS, PETER
BOSS (tipsy)
Oh, thank you! Ah-huh!!
ANGLE - BIGGY, BOSS, PETER
PETER is branding some more.
PETER
Yeah, here have some more. This one
is the good one. You can see that's 16-red
there, and the black is uh, ah, right!!
ANGLE - MICKY, MIKE, DAVY
ALL THREE
Isn't that dumb?!?
ANGLE - BOSS, PETER
BOSS (beyond sober)
Can I have another one??
ANGLE - BIGGY, BOSS, PETER
BIGGY faints from too much red-eye
PETER
Ah, sixteen red-eye, and sixteen black-eye
and here--
BOSS faints from too much red-eye
(CUT)