Are You Easily Obsessed?
This is a pressing question that is relevant to all our lives. Step up to the plate and take the challenge. I'm (obviously) no fancy web weaver so you're just going to have to write down your answers and score the old fashioned way.
1. You're 15 minutes late for an appointment when you spy the object of your obsession a few blocks ahead. You:
a. stealthily follow for a couple of blocks and then hot-foot it to your appointment, feeling a little foolish.
b. proceed as planned while trying to ignore the knots in your stomach.
c. attempt to get hit by a car in order to get their attention and cause them to become instantly smitten with you.
2. How many times in the past year have you had to feign surprise upon discovering information regarding your sweetheart? ("Oh, you live on St. James Dr.? I had no idea!")
3. You would call up your object of desire and pose as someone else to:
a. conduct a false survey in order to glean more information. ("Yes or no. Does your mother know you're gay?")
b. You wouldn't. What is this, middle school?!
c. see who answers the phone.
4. To get down to the nitty-gritty, the point of all this stalking business is:
a. to horribly disfigure your obsession so that they couldn't possibly be attractive to anyone else but you.
b. to swap amusing anecdotes while sharing a cherry cola with two intertwined straws.
c. ridiculously pointless.
5. You see your honey waiting for a bus. You:
a.wait for the bus too.
b. keep on keeping on.
c. make a mental note of the busline and from now on only take that bus despite the fact that there are three more convenient ones.
6. Your favorite celebrity is in a cable movie next week, but you're penniless and only have regular TV. You:
a. immediately call the cable company for installation.
b. call family and friends (yes, stalkers have friends) and beg them to tape it.
c. don't lose any sleep over it. It's not as if The USA Network has ever been known for its quality programming.
7. Would you ever rearrange your schedule in order to "accidentally" run into the object of your obsession?
a. Never. Forcing things always backfires.
b. Occasionally, without being too obvious or purposeful. Randomly popping-up is lost artform.
c. Definitely. You have to leave an impression on them (who cares if it's a bad one).
8. Do you have the tendency to overanalyze and read meaning into even the most mundane actions? If you made eye contact with your obsession and they blinked, this would mean:
a. that they were onto you and very nervous.
b. that they were attempting to wink at you, but have poor motor skills.
c. that they had something in their eye.
9. How likely is it that they phrase, "They'd like me if only they could meet me" would cross your lips?
a.Very. There probably are a bunch of great people whose paths will never cross.
b. Not very. Why brood over someone you don't even know?
c. Mildly. You've always had a soft spot in your heart for Smiths' lyrics.
10. When running errands you often see the object of your affection at the same places. You:
a. wish you could say hi and attempt conversation.
b. chalk this up to coincidence or come to the obvious conclusion that they must live in the same neighborhood.
c. interpret this as a sign and grow more obsessive.
If you had to choose between two identical products, the only difference being that one shared the same name as your beloved, would you choose that item? Even if it had a higher fat content?
* * *
1. a=3, b=1, c=5 2. a=1, b=3, c=5
3. a=5, b=1, c=3 4. a=5, b=3, c=1
5. a=3, b=1, c=5 6. a=5, b=3, c=1
7. a=1, b=3, c=5 8. a=3, b=5, c=1
9. a=5, b=1, c=3 10. a=3, b=1, c=5
bonus: yes=1, yes again=3 more
* * *
10-24 Straight as an Arrow
You hear the word stalking and all you picture is a sock full o' goodies. You've never been one to go in for pointless pursuits. There's a good head on your shoulders and you'd rather use it for something more substantial than, say, memorizing someone else's class or work schedule. Reality has you firmly grounded. Sure, you get your share of crushes, but you might do something rash like actually smiling or saying hello. You can be commended for your straight-forwardness, maturity, and well-adjusted attitude, but you may be quick to jude those seeming a little more frivolous than yourself. Remember, "The world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you may not be right for some." Allow yourself to get carried away from time to time.
You don't know when to say when, but you'll never be accused of agressiveness. You fervently work behind the scenes while maintaining an unassuming air. You can be very imaginative, introspective, and focused, but have devious tendencies. You're roundabout, doing things the hard way instead of facing things head on. At your worst, you can be unrealistic and socially immature. Really you are all talk. If you ever got your obsesssion where you wanted them, you'd be at a loss. For the most part, your brand of stalking is harmless, though you could easily be perceived as a nuisance. Scaredy-cats tend to isolate themselves so every so often get a reality check. You could end up losing yourself and your dignity.
40-54 Sticking to Your Guns
You mean business. You know what you want and you'll let nothing stand in your way. The thrill of the chase fuels you and more than once you've caught your prey. The best of your lot can be admired for their determination, curiosity, and attention to detail. But watch out, your devil-may-care attitude could land you in some hot water. For every person you've won over, there's a handful you've frightened away with your intrusiveness. For those scoring at the high end of the scale, do the words John Hinkley Jr. mean anything to you?! Restraining orders were designed with you in mind. Of course there are worse fates than becoming a stalker. Just keep a level head and try not to lose sight of the big picture.
[stalking] [goodies] [Lone Star Thomas] [project me]