83 Things College Viewbooks Don't tell You:
1. Be creative in the dining hall.
2. You will never find so many excuses for a bucket.
3. Asleep by 2:30 am is an early night.
4. New additions to the food groups: Mountain Dew, Doritos, Ben &
Jerry's, Ho-Hos and Oreos
5. Make sure your alarm clock has back-up batteries.
6. Duct tape heals all wounds. (If not, scotch or masking tape will
suffice for awhile.)
7. Showers become less important.
8. Sleep becomes more important.
9. Two meals a day are standard. One for some!
10. Recycling becomes synonomous with laundry ("Oh, my jeans can last
until Christmas. ...there's only a *little* bit of mud on them...").
11. You can never make too many meals in a hot pot (or pizelle maker).
12. If the lecture hall is big enough, get someone else's notes.
13. Isn't it amazing that the book your professor wrote is always required
for his class?
14. T.A. used to stand for teaching assistant, now, for terribly articulated.
15. Squirt guns=stress relief.
16. E-mail becomes your second language.
17. Frat parties are exactly like they are in the movies.
18. Ten-page papers used to sound impossible, now they're a Godsend.
19. Professors are like celebrities: you see them, but they never see
you.
20. See every movie under $3 that your campus provides; it's actually
proportional to the amount of money you have.
21. Plain pasta never constituted a complete meal before.
22. The health service attendants are there because they couldn't make
it in a real hospital, never ever forget that.
23. Forget putting the toilet seat down,you just pray that they flush.
24. Frisbee becomes a contact sport.
25. Care packages rank up there with birthdays.
26. College girls are the same as high school girls, just with more
freedom...and no curfew.
27. Pop a vitamin and breakfast is covered.
28. Learn to love your roommate, especially when he leaves you the
room.
29. You always thought that worshipping the porcelain god was just
an expression...it's not!
30. Even though the beds are long, they are also extra narrow.
31. Things that were a huge deal in high school are now commonplace.
32. Computer games go in and out faster than the latest fashions.
33. Any game can be made into a drinking game.
34. Find one thing you like in the dining hall and go with it.
35. You will hear more stupid nicknames than you ever thought possible.
36. Cereal makes a meal any time of day.
37. ATMs are the devil's advocate.
38. You almost forget how to drive.
39. You'll drink anything if it's free..
40. People still cheat, it's just more technologically advanced.
41. You get really good with excuses for skipping class.
42. The girl you're going to marry may live right next door, so keep
your stereo down.
43. Ordering food at 1 am is a common occurance.
44. TV becomes a bigger time sucker than ever before.
45. You realize how great your hell summer job was once you get to
work study.
46. Keys have never been so important, yet you seem to lose them more
than ever before.
47. You meet the type of people you only thought existed in the movies.
48. You learn to sleep with light, noise, extreme temps, and roommates
snoring.
49. You don't have to cover your textbooks anymore.
50. You become a juggler with the balance between school, friends,
girls, activities, work, parties...
51. You live for chicken finger day at the cafeteria.
52. People that were geeks in high school seem okay now.
53. You begin to realize that college is about the ideal lifestyle,
except for those pesky classes.
54. You get good at rationalizing on whether to do homework or not
(usually not).
55. Procrastination becomes an art.
56. Jeans may be worn as many times as the wearer desires (for example,
see # 12).
57. The only reason you ever dress up is when everything else is dirty.
58. Your parents start to tell you stories about their college days.
59. With all the wealth of knowledge around you, you start to feel
like you're on intellectual welfare.
60. Going to the mini-mart is a major treat.
61. Amount of alcohol consumed is directly proportional to grade point
average.
62. You have two kinds of shoes: everyday shoes and party shoes.
63. Classes: the later the better.
64. The cute girls actually talk to you now.
65. Care packages make it all worthwhile.
66. The longer you're there, the less you talk about home.
67. Always wear your safety goggles, they're not kidding.
68. You just don't learn last names.
69. Your teachers just went from Mr. and Mrs. to Prof.
70. That calculator Tetris and Duck Hunt come into play even more than
in high school Physics class.
71. Card games never lasted for hours before.
72. Vacuuming happens every semester, if you get around to it.
73. Boys will dance in college.
74. People who never talked to you in high school are now your best
friends when you come home.
75. You are NEVER alone.
76. It's amazing how late you can stay up doing absolutely nothing,
yet falling asleep in class or in the library takes an average of two seconds.
77. You begin to subdivide your room into sections such as den, library,
etc. to make it sound like a house.
78. All you have to do to make new friends is have mom send up some
cookies.
79. You never realized how quiet your house was.
80. Dishes aren't dirty enough to wash until they have bugs and/or
mold in them.
81. Printers only break down when you desperately need them.
82. You get along so much better with your family now that you never
see any of them.
83. Your life will never be the same again.