14. Using the Force, young Darth could unhook a bra on the other side of the planet.

13. Could hack into Death Star mainframe to vaporize his violin teacher's house.

12. The power to cause volcanic pimple eruptions on the faces of his mortal enemies.

11. Could make Obi-Wan Kenobi pee his pants by sneaking in his room and putting his hand in warm water.

10. Ability to sweet-talk girls into "rubbing his helmet."

9. For a white kid, he did a pretty damn good James Earl Jones impression.

8. Astounding dodge ball prowess combined with "take no prisoners" attitude resulted in many a beheaded opponent.

7. The old Jedi "your lunch money is mine" trick.

6. Ability to emit a powerful protective force-field after only one bean burrito.

5. Won the high school talent show every year by making the vice principal writhe in pain.

4. Ability to activate "Trouser Saber" at will.

3. The uncanny ability to make all the hottest babes believe that through the constant application of love and understanding *they* can change him.

2. "You don't need to see my I.D. You know I'm old enough to buy beer."

1. Pasty skin + jet-black wardrobe + intense aura of impending doom = Goth babe magnet!