A Love Not Mine

Gail Rusk

 

This story is set after the episode "Return of the Phantom", it finishes the abrupt ending.

 

 It had been more than a week since Admiral Harriman Nelson rescued Captain Lee Crane and Maria from Captain Krueger and the Island of Mulayo.

The admiral had put an end to Krueger. Seaview had destroyed  the island were Lani had been buried, thus freed Lani and Krueger from their earthly bonds and by the same act delivered Lee back into this world and to Nelson. Harriman Nelson had taken full responsibility for all the political ramifications. No doubt there would be numerous heated discussions surrounding the event. But the main island had no difficulty with the loss of Taboo Island. 

 

Even though Krueger's spirit had finally abandoned Crane’s body there had been a bullet wound threatening the captain's life. Nelson had shot Crane. The admiral had stood on the spiral staircase aimed his gun into the control room, while Krueger had relentlessly compelled him to kill his best friend.

 

As soon as FS1 had docked with Seaview, Lee Crane had been taken directly to sick bay. The doctor had immediately sent everyone out so he could attempt to save the captain's life. Jamieson hadn't been sure at first whether Crane would survive. The damage to his body had been extensive and difficult to repair.

 

Although the surgery had gone well, Lee was hanging on by a thread and comatose.  

"But he's still alive," Jamieson had offered a glimmer of hope to Nelson.

For days, Nelson had spent every spare moment in sick bay. He'd been a constant presence seated amongst the beeping equipment, which was monitoring his friend's vital signs. He continuously spoke to the unconscious captain hoping Lee could hear him; he urged Lee to come back to the world of the living.   But Nelson had still been tormented by guilt. How could he have done Krueger's bidding? If only there had been another way to save Seaview without sacrificing Crane. He should have fought against Krueger harder. He had been forced to accept what had happened. He had had to get past this destructive cycle, for Lee's sake, and for his own sanity.  In the end he had gotten Lee back, he hoped.

 

Nelson needed to speak to Lee to explain...to say how sorry he was... to ask his forgiveness. So he had waited. With as much patience as he could gather, he needed to be with Lee when he regained consciousness.    For days Nelson had kept vigil.

 

When finally Lee's eyes had begun to flutter, with agonizing slowness, Crane eyes had opened.

"Lee? Can you see me? Doc! He's awake!

The first person Crane saw when he opened his eyes was the face of Admiral Nelson looking down on him with a worried expression.

Jamieson reacted immediately, pushing past Nelson.

     

"What happened? Where am I?" Lee had mumbled in a hoarse whisper, as Jamieson had begun a cursory examination. He tested his cognitive abilities, asked: Name, Rank, etc.

Nelson interrupted, "Doc, I must speak to him."

Jamieson finally relented, "Only for a moment, he appears to be aware of his surroundings but he still needs rest."

Nelson crossed to the bunk.

 

"I'm here Lee," Nelson placed a hand on Lee's shoulder, "You're going to be alright, you're aboard Seaview. You’d been shot and were in a coma. We have all been very worried about you. Do you remember anything? About Krueger, Lani the U-boat?"

"Yes," Lee had squeezed his eyes shut and tried to put it all together. "But it's all mixed up like a bad dream or a nightmare."

Suddenly Lee's eyes widened.  He looked accusingly at Nelson," You...you shot me...in the control room...but WHY?"

"Yes, it was me." Nelson lowered his head. "I tried to resist - but the more I tried the more Krueger compelled me to shoot you. He threatened to destroy Seaview.  It was like I had no control over my mind my body, no control at all." Then very quietly. "I am so sorry."

Crane was aware of Nelson’s turmoil, his inner anguish tearing him apart.

Lee reached up and touched the admiral’s arm. "You didn't mean to hurt me. I know that now. It was Krueger not you, who shot me, if it helps I understand and forgive you. You shouldn't blame yourself. I don't."

"I do blame myself. I shot you!"

"You shouldn't, you didn’t..."

Silence descending upon them; each considered the fate that had almost overtaken them both.

Lee Crane finally fell asleep, a natural healing sleep for which Nelson and Jamieson were grateful.

 

Jamieson walked over to the tired man sitting by Crane, "You should get some rest admiral. Lee should be fine. I'll be here. Now go rest. I'll call if there's any change in his condition."

So Nelson finally left sick bay. For the first time in days he had felt he could rest. He had headed straight for his cabin.

"Control room, this is the Admiral." he keyed the intercom on his desk.

"Yes, Admiral?" Chip answered crisply.

"The captain's regained consciousness briefly and is expected to recover. Please pass this along to the crew."

"Aye Sir, I will!

 

*

He didn't know what brought him to this part of the boat, but most times Crane came here to think about the day's events, or to unwind after a particularly difficult mission. Lee saw that Seaview was running on the surface now. No doubt headed for home.The lights were dim, but the sky and the colors of the sunset were streaming through the herculite windows.

 

As Crane approached the nose he felt apprehensive, almost expecting to see Captain Krueger sitting there. He was well aware; Krueger, Lani, the Island of Mulayo and the U-boat were gone. Dead and gone, as they had been for many years. It was difficult to believe, that that particular nightmare was over. 

 

As he slowly came closer he was somewhat relieved to see the Admiral sitting there watching the sunset.It had been some time since Nelson had looked in on the captain, and was surprised to have Lee join him.

Nelson greeted Crane asking, "How are you feeling, Lee? I hope, Jamieson discharged you or have you managed to escape?"

"I'm fine," Lee met Nelson's eyes, "just a little sore. And yes, he released me.  I just needed to take a walk to clear my head a bit and here I am."

As Lee struggled to sit, he tried not to wince, but the Admiral noticed, Crane could see the pain return to Nelson's eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lee asked staring at the deck.

"What's there to talk about, Krueger's dead.Do you?" Nelson watched as Lee took on a haunted look.

Crane looked up. "You know I can still feel his presence - in the back of my mind, his love for Lani. I feel sad for her loss.” Lee couldn’t stop the minute he started, the words flooded out. “All my emotions are raw, so close to the surface." Crane's body involuntarily shuttered, "It's hard to shake... and as I walked in here I almost expected to see Krueger sitting there. I know he's gone but..."

"Yes he’s gone. And all those memories aren't yours and they will weaken. It's going to take time Lee, time enough to heal," Nelson said softly.

They looked at one another for a moment then they both sat back in silence, staring out at the sunset. Both still suffering from their own little hells. Not yet being released from their nightmares. Sincerely hoping time would fade the memories.

 

 

The End