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Just a whimsey
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Bugs is Bugs by Carol Foss Orig.posted on 13 Aug 2003 on Seaview List RADIO RELAY MESSAGES LOG: ***FROM: NIMR PROCUREMENT OFFICE TO: SEAVIEW FIND SHIPPED TO YOUR SUB VIA HELICOPTER ONE CASE OF SUPER DELUXE ANTI- CREEPY CRAWLIE BUG SPRAY AS REQUESTED. *** FROM: SEAVIEW TO: NIMR PROCUREMENT OFFICE WELL, IT DON'T WORK! THE XO SAID THAT COCKAMAMIE NEW WORM THAT GOT ABOARD IS OUT OF CONTROL AND IS LIVING IN OUR CONTROL ROOM'S COMPUTER. CHIEF SHARKEY *** FROM: NIMR PROCUREMENT OFFICE TO: SEAVIEW DON'T GET ALL HUFFY AT US. BUGS IS BUGS. SEAL THE COMPUTER IN PLASTIC AND LET THE SPRAY SOAK IN. AND WE'VE TOLD THE ADMIRAL HE NEEDED TO UPGRADE YOUR EQUIPMENT TO THE MORE ECONOMICAL AND CONVENIENT USER SIZE. HASN'T HE HEARD OF LAPTOPS? *** TO: NIMR PROCUREMENT OFFICE FROM: SEAVIEW THESE WORMS AIN'T YOUR ORDINARY EVERYDAY BUGS. THEY ATE ALL THE DATA FROM MR. MORTON'S LITTLE BLACK BOOK HE'D PUT INTO THE COMPUTER.. WIPED OUT AS RILEY SAID. SO SEND US SOMETHING STRONGER OR ELSE. LAPTOPS HUH? CAN THEY RUN A SUB? CHIEF SHARKEY *** FROM NIMR PROCUREMENT OFFICE TO: SEAVIEW THERE AIN'T NOTHING STRONGER THAN ANTI CREEPY CRAWLIE...TRY A WASH OF SODA AND VINEGAR. BUT TURN THE COMPUTER OFF FIRST. AS FOR A LAPTOP RUNNING A BOAT, WELL, YOU'D HAVE TO GET WITH MAC FOR THAT, OR MAYBE MICRO. WHAT DO I KNOW, I'M JUST A CLERK. *** FROM SEAVIEW TO NIMR PROCUREMENT OFFICE UH, YOU'D BETTER BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A VERY MAD ADMIRAL. HE SAID THE WORM WAS A COMPUTER THINGAMAJIG, NOT AN INSECT. WAS HE PISSED WE UNPLUGGED THE COMPUTER AND SENT THE BOAT TO THE BOTTOM WHILE WE SPONGED IT'S INSIDES OUT LIKE YOU SAID. AND THE BLASTED THING WON'T WORK AT ALL NOW. SEAMAN SHARKEY SKIPPER AND MORTON HAVE BEEN SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT SCRUBBING OUT THE BALLAST TANKS. *** FROM NIMR PROCUREMENT OFFICE TO SEAVIEW TOO BAD ABOUT THE MISUNDERSTANDING. HOPE YOU GET YOUR STRIPES BACK SOON. IN THE MEANTIME, HAVE A CRATE OF EXTRA HEAVY DUTY RUBBER SCRUBBING GLOVES ON ME. *** FROM SEAVIEW TO NIMR PROCUREMENT OFFICE VERY FUNNY, ACTUALLY THE SKIPPER MADE MORTON HELP ME. SOMETHING ABOUT HIM NOT CLARIFYING THE SITUATION BEFORE IT GOT OUT OF HAND. CHIEF SHARKEY (Hoping everyone's computer worm problems have been solved.)
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