DONUTS, ASSETS AND SPIES

By

Beverly

 

“A little spill there, Captain, allow me,” Chip reached over and deftly flicked a small drop of jelly off the side of Lee’s donut while giving his friend a kindly smile. “A really good donut can be difficult to manage, as I’ve mentioned in the past it’s all in the wrist. You need to keep the donut level and apply just the correct amount of pressure when your teeth make contact.”

 

Lee rolled his eyes in an exaggerated manner as he mumbled past his mouthful of donut, “Thank you, Mr. Morton, I believe you may have mentioned it once or twice.”

 

Nelson took a bite of his own donut as he smothered a smile. Chip and the donut routine were getting a little old but every time he thought it was about to die a natural death Chip would come back with a new innovation on the old theme. Poor Lee had gotten a drop of jelly on his uniform pants two weeks ago and the blow back from Chip had, thus far, been epic.

 

“Only trying to help, Captain, I’ve made a study of the donut as I may have mention…”

 

“Once or twice,” Lee mumbled.

 

“As I may have mentioned. The secret is that the donut hides all of its assets inside the cake and they must never see the light of day. The true donut connoisseur should consume a donut in such a manner that its assets are never revealed, or as in some unfortunate cases worn,” Chip nonchalantly examined Lee’s pants, “by the consumer.”

 

“Thank you, Mr. Morton, I’m sure we’re all the better for your brief discourse on the nature of the donut, now perhaps we could get down to business.” Nelson took some mercy on Lee and moved the discussion away from the donuts and back to the agenda.

 

“Of course, sir, although if you would like me to offer the captain some private tutoring at a later date, in the event that he someday needs to eat a donut in public say?”

 

“The second item I have is the new fuel cell we’re trying in the geology lab,” Lee offered, ignoring Chip.

 

“Yes, I’m very excited about that when will installation be complete?” Nelson said and the meeting moved along its natural course with only one last glance from Lee that Chip thought portended a fast approaching payback. He smiled back at his friend daring him to do his worst. Later he was to think that might possibly have been a mistake.

 

“The last item I have is the security upgrade,” Lee said. “The new retina scanners are due for installation next week. We’ve already gotten scans from all of the staff approved for the various labs. So as soon as the scanners are installed they will be immediately operational.”

 

“Any progress on the other front?” The Admiral asked.

 

“Not much, sir. Smithson is rolling out the new leather treatment on June 1st. They refused to respond to any inquiries about their source on the enzyme.”

 

“They don’t need to tell where they got the information, it could only have come from here. There’s no way that a company like Smithson could’ve come up with that enzyme. They bought the information. They have almost no R&D, except what they steal.” Nelson got up from his desk and stomped over to the big window overlooking the bay with his cigarettes and lighter as he spoke. “I certainly resent the hundred million dollars that we probably lost in revenue because of the theft of the information,” Nelson turned to face the other two men, “what I resent more than that is a member of our staff stole it and we’re still paying that person a salary and they’re still trying to steal from us.”

 

“Chip and I think we might have a plan, sir, it will take a little while to work but since we haven’t had any luck in the past six weeks catching the person we thought it might be worth a try.”

 

Nelson quirked an eyebrow at the two men and gave a small smile, “I’m listening?”

 

“We’ve got the security so tight now that anything that goes missing will be immediately traceable to the thief. I think though that whoever did this is still going to be looking for an opportunity to cash in on their position here.” Nelson nodded encouragingly as Lee slowed in his presentation. “Well, sir, we thought if they couldn’t get a science secret we might offer them an engineering secret that they could maybe sell, one they’d need to buy from a disaffected staff member. That would let us identify the thief.”

 

“And you would do this how?”

 

“I thought if it was known that the Captain of the Seaview resented so much attention being paid to tracking down a bit of corporate espionage and perhaps mentioned that he could understand how some poor scientist might not view stealing such information from a very wealthy individual such as yourself….” Lee allowed his voice to trail away as he tried to gauge how Nelson was reacting to his plan.

 

The Admiral’s face-hardened as he listened until by the time Lee’s voice trailed away he was glowering at the two younger men. “You think someone is going to believe that you would sell secrets? Come on, you two are the straightest arrows I’ve ever met. No one is going to believe that.” Nelson sounded disgusted and furiously lit another cigarette.

 

“Not right away, sir, but if we lay the right ground work and take a few months to work it up, I think we can make an effective case for disaffection and a need for money.” Lee spoke quickly, wanting to get his whole argument out before the Admiral’s opposition hardened. “We’ve got a plan, sir, a fight with you, rumors in the right places, a need for money on my part…” Lee almost held his breath while he waited for a reaction from the Admiral.

 

Nelson stood with his back toward the two junior officers wreathed in smoke and silence looking out the windows toward Seaview. Chip and Lee exchanged glances. Now that they’d lain out the bones of their plan all they could do was wait while the Admiral played it out in his mind.

 

Nelson turned and put the end of his cigarette out in the ashtray on the windowsill before returning to his desk. “Okay, give me more, who are you telling what to and what are you planning to sell?”

 

They spent another hour going over their idea, making adjustments as they occurred to them until all three men were satisfied that they had the beginnings of a scheme. “This is a long term plan though, it’s going to take months to make this believable.” Nelson warned, “And it’s not necessarily going to be a pleasant period for either of us, especially you Lee on the outs with me and much of the rest of our close staff.”

 

“Yes, sir, but we know we’re looking for a member of the science staff, they’re the only ones with access to the research on the enzyme. It has to be one of fewer than twenty people. None of them are friends of mine and I’m spending a big chunk of this time at sea so it won’t be too bad. Won’t have to cut all my friends.” Lee smiled at the Admiral who gave a “harrumph,” before returning the smile.

 

“Alright, we’ll try it. We could get lucky in the interim and figure out who it is and catch them but if we don’t at least we’ll be doing something long term to try and solve the mystery ourselves.”

 

The two younger men rose and gathered up their papers and prepared to leave. “If you don’t want the rest of those donuts?” Chip asked gesturing toward the plate with the three remaining donuts. “I would normally share them with Lee, but I think in view of his donut handicap I should take them with me.”

 

“There is a time for all things,” Lee said softly to Chip as he held the door for his friend, grabbing a donut as Chip walked past with the plate held high.

 

“In your dreams, Crane, I’m watching you all the time.” Chip said softly turning to protect the two remaining donuts from his CO’s quick hands. Lee smiled softly and nodded his head before turning toward his office.

 

Two Months Later

 

“Welcome home,” Angie Walker said, smiling at Chip and Lee as they came into her officer, “the Admiral seemed pleased with the cruise?”

 

“He should be I suppose we made another hundred million for his private fortune with the anti-coagulant research Dr. Fister completed.” Lee spoke sourly; ignoring the dirty look he received from Chip.

 

“Lee?” Angie said, looking distressed and glancing at the two scientists standing talking outside the Admirals office. The two men had stopped speaking at Lee’s comment and for a moment the office was silent.

 

Lee shrugged awkwardly and smiled toward Nelson’s Executive Assistant, “Sorry, Angie, it was a long cruise and we had quite a bit of difficulty, but never mind, not your problem. Is he in?” Lee nodded toward the Admiral’s officer.

 

“Yes, he said for you to go in when you arrived.” Angie’s smile had disappeared and she was frowning slightly as she watched the two men disappear into Nelson’s officer. She’d heard rumors that Lee was unhappy with the situation at NIMR but this was the first time she’d seen first hand evidence of the man’s disaffection. She put a smile back on and walked over to the two scientists to try and do some damage control. She’d need to speak to the Admiral later and see if there was something he could do about the situation.

 

*******

 

Nelson rose from his desk when the two officers came into his office with a smile on his face and his hand extended. “Welcome home, gentleman, very nice job. I saw the report from Fister it looks very promising indeed, great job, great job.”

 

“I think I upset Angie,” Lee said, looking at Nelson sadly, “Sanderson and Van der Car, were outside your office. It was too good a chance to show my unhappiness but poor Angie…”

 

“We knew it was going to be tough, Lee, I’m sorry, but she’ll understand.” Nelson stopped smiling and looked at Lee sympathetically. The long period of acting unhappy and at odds with Nelson was taking its toll on the younger man who normally enjoyed such a close relationship not only with Nelson but also with the rest of the command team at NIMR. As Lee had made his dissatisfaction with the Admiral known more and more of the people in leadership roles at the institute had been avoiding him and cutting him in public. He knew it was all lending credence to the story they were trying to spread but it was unpleasant for Lee.

 

Lee smiled at the Admiral. “Its working though, sir, I had an employment offer from GTS on my desk when I got in this morning and McGuffey, Stanley and Watson called to see if I was interested in meeting with them to discuss my options in the private sector.”

 

“Wow,” Chip said, “McGuffey, Stanley, they’re the big head hunters from LA, the word must be getting around. I think you should go meet with them. I’m dying to know what a submarine captain can do in the private sector that would interest them?

 

“Kind of curious myself,” Lee agreed smiling, “I never thought of myself as that employable. I may need a raise now that I’m such a desirably commodity.” Lee glanced at the Admiral who looked very serious and unhappy.

 

“I’m sorry, Lee, maybe we should stop this. I didn’t anticipate what an impact it was going to have on your life here at the Institute.”

 

“I did, sir, and it’s okay this will pass the first time they see us with our arms on each other’s shoulders going out for dinner.”

 

Nelson didn’t say anything for a moment studying Lee to try and determine how he was truly reacting to the difficult social situation their masquerade was creating at the Institute. “Honestly, sir, it’s okay, we had a good cruise and the crew is unconcerned with what’s happening at the Institute and they’re the group that really matters to me.”

 

Nelson glanced at Chip for confirmation and when Chip nodded to him he sighed softly and smiled slightly. “Okay, Lee, but we can’t keep this up forever, it’s not fair to you or the rest of the staff. I don’t want to ruin the atmosphere here in an effort to catch one disaffected employee.”

 

“He’s not some unhappy scientist,” Chip said.

 

“He stole from us, sir, we need to catch him before he does it again. This is working if the news of my unhappiness has reached LA than everyone at NIMR must know about it. Now we need to lay our trap.”

 

“We were talking about it on the trip home,” Chip took up their plan, “we think we have a new fuel injector that reduces fuel usage on the big diesels by twenty percent. It’s believable and will be difficult for a biologist to recognize one way or the other.”

 

“You’re sure we’re looking for a biologist?” Nelson asked sitting down at his desk and gesturing to the two chairs in front of it for the younger men.

 

“I got the last of the background checks from ONI. We’ve narrowed it down to about ten people and they’re all in the soft sciences, which makes sense since whoever stole the enzyme had access to your lab.” Lee said inching forward in his chair.

 

“Lee and I made a mock up of our new invention and got Ski and Sharkey to help with the fabrication. It might actually work. Not twenty percent but we were thinking if we tried installing it in the mini sub we could give it a good test. It super oxygenates the air before its injected into the cylinder…”

 

“It looks good, sir. I think it’s worth trying…” Lee agreed.

 

“Whoa, so you two have actually invented a better fuel injector and now you want to let someone steal it from you?” Nelson was laughing as he rubbed his hand back through his hair. “Show me your schematics.”

 

“We sent them to your lap top they’re in the secure data file.” Lee looked up at the Admiral a bit sheepishly, “it started out as something believable we could sell but the longer we worked on it the better it got.”

 

Nelson was messing about with his key board as Lee spoke and in a few minutes the three men were all bent over the computer talking excitedly.

 

“You two have managed to impress me again,” Nelson sat back with a big smile on his face. “This is brilliant, simple and direct and brilliant.” Lee and Chip exchanged shy smiles with each other.

 

“Let me go over it tonight and we’ll meet in the morning to decide how we want to proceed. Now go home both of you and get some rest, it was a long cruise and I know you must be tired.”

 

The next morning Angie sat at her desk watching Lee Crane bent over a plate of donuts with ketchup squeeze bottle and a knife.

 

“What are you doing?” She asked after watching him squeeze something into one of the donuts from the ketchup bottle. Lee smiled at her as he held the donut up above his head and made several small cuts along its underside with his knife.

 

“Chip likes a lot of jelly in his donut, I’m making him something very special.” Lee said intent upon his work with the knife.

 

“With ketchup?”

 

“No, jelly, I needed some way to get extra jelly in the donut, hence the squeeze bottle.”

 

Oooh,” Angie smiled, “would this be payback for the lecture on donut mastery?”

 

“The lecture, try about a hundred gloating lectures.” Lee said, making a sour face. “Every time we have coffee and there’s donuts I get the assets of the donut are best never seen but kept inside the donut symposium. But I never said a word, I nodded and took my education like a good little sailor, all the while plotting my revenge.” Lee’s smile was truly diabolical as he held the donut up to the light to check for imperfections before carefully returning it to the plate with the rest of the donuts.

 

“How do you know Chip will take the right donut?”

 

“Easy, it’s the only one with frosting, filling and sprinkles. He won’t be able to stop himself, greedy bugger.” Lee smiled broadly and Angie returned his smile pleased to see some of the sadness that had become a part of the Lee for the past couple of months lift. She wished she could see what was about to happen.

 

As if reading her mind Lee said, “Don’t worry he’ll be coming past you on his way for a new uniform. Past you and the entire staff on his way to his office. Ah payback is sweet.”

 

Lee gave the plate a last loving look and then rose to his feet and headed into the Admiral’s office. “What if the Admiral takes it?” Angie hissed suddenly concerned about her part in the plan.

 

“No fear he’s due for his physical this week. He’s cut himself down to one plain donut a day.”

 

“Is there anything you don’t know, Captain,” Angie asked with a smile. Lee returned her smile as he knocked on the door and then ducked inside when the Admiral called out.

 

A few minutes later Chip arrived his usual immaculate self and Angie in a moment of inspiration handed him the plate of donuts to take into the office.

 

Lee and the Admiral were sitting around the conference table when Chip came in and he quickly poured a cup of coffee and joined the other two men putting his plate of donuts in the middle of the table. “So any new job offers?” He asked as he sat down.

 

“No I’m holding out for an offer from the L.A. Fire Department, I’ve decided I want to be a fireman. It was my first employment goal when I was six and I see a real chance now to achieve that ambition.” As the other two men laughed Lee reached over for the frosted donut in the middle of the plate, but he wasn’t quick enough to beat Chip to the sticky confection.

 

“Oh no, that’s way above your donut eating level,” Chip said, smiling at his friend. Lee sighed and selected a frosted donut and took a big bite out of it, watching Chip out of the corner of his eye. It took all of his concentration to keep his face expressionless as Chip carefully lifted the donut up and took a big bite. As soon as his teeth made contact with the donut the entire carefully weakened, bottom separated from the frosted top and in lovely slow motion fell into Chip’s lap. As if that was a magic signal Lee nearly doubled over with laughter. It took Nelson a moment to realize what had happened but as soon as he did a broad smile creased his face.

 

Chip sat absolutely motionless for a long moment, but then with the perfect aplomb that made him such a great XO he began chewing his bite of donut without ever glancing at the mess in his lap. He might actually have carried it off if Lee hadn’t been laughing so hard he was nearly falling out of his chair. Getting control of his laughter Lee said, “Um, Chip, you seem to have your donut’s not so hidden assets in your, um, lap ah, exposed to the light of day as it were.”

 

“Really, Captain,” Chip glanced down toward his lap, “why yes, I see you’re right, I wonder how such a thing could have happened?” Chip turned his head from his examination of the mess in his lap to look at Lee as if he was examining a particularly nasty specimen.

 

“I can’t imagine, Mr. Morton, I would assume there was some imperfection in the management of your donut, perhaps in your wrist?” Lee examined Chip’s wrist closely as if he could see something wrong there. “I’ve been getting a lot of instruction on donut management lately, perhaps I could give you some tips?”

 

Chip narrowed his eyes as he again looked into his lap, “What were you offering?”

 

At that Nelson lost control and began laughing out loud, not only at Chip’s dilemma but also at the look on his face as he quirked an eyebrow at Lee’s offer to help. He almost held his breath, wondering how far the two men were going to go with this.

 

“A napkin?” Lee suggested.

 

“Oh, shucks,” Chip scowled at Lee, “thought you were offering a more…”

 

Nelson interrupted before the two of them could really get rolling, “We can go over the reports on the cruise while you go change if you like, Chip, and when you get back we can talk about our sting operation?”

 

“I’m fine, sir, I can change when we finish,” Chip raised an eyebrow in Lee’s direction, “in case there’s another…over full donut on the tray.” As he spoke Chip took another bite of his donut and picked up his coffee cup.

 

Lee reached over and gently punched Chip in the arm, when his friend glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, Lee smiled at him, “ It could’ve happen to anyone, buddy.”

 

Chip narrowed his eyes at Lee, “I’m so going to enjoy working out where this goes next.”

 

“A problem for tomorrow, I’m going to live in the moment.”

 

“So where do we go next with our plot to discover our thief?” Nelson asked a bit anxiously.

 

“What did you think of our invention?” Lee asked, reluctantly turning from his study of Chip.

 

“It looked as brilliant when I saw your prototype as it did when I saw the schematic. We will definitely fit the mini sub out with one for the next cruise, provided you don’t let someone steal it.”

 

“At any rate it should certainly be believable and tempting to our thief? We need to talk it about around the Institute, perhaps if you we’re to suggest that instead of giving it to the navy you could sell it to GM or Ford?” Lee suggested.

 

Nelson made a sour face and then after a moment smiled. “I guess it’s time for me to take some of the fire in our conflict. I’m going to look the greedy industrialist for certain when I refuse you a bonus for the invention.”

 

“Oh,” Lee said with an exaggerated look of sadness, “no stock option or anything?”

 

Six Weeks Later

 

“He’s set up a contact time and place,” Lee said, getting up from his desk to pour Chip a cup of coffee.

 

“Where?”

 

“Four Seasons in LA, all the usual hokum, come alone, check in and he’ll meet me in the bar Saturday at 1900.He wants me to bring the injector prototype with me so he can see it.”

 

“Finally.”

 

“Yeah, I said when we started it would take a while, but this has felt like an eternity.”

 

“Now what?”

 

“I told him I was bringing you, that there was no way I was leaving the prototype unguarded. So you’ll stay in the room with the prototype, I’ll show him the schematics. If he agrees to my price I’ll arrange the exchange.”

 

“Sounds like a plan.” Chip said after thinking for a moment. “Gets us a weekend at the Four Seasons that’s a good thing. I hear they have a fantastic pool on the top of the hotel with this great view of…”

 

“Not a vacation, guess that’s why ONI never came recruiting you?”

 

“Oh and I’m so disappointed about that!”

 

“Inform the Admiral for me, since we supposedly stopped speaking two weeks ago I don’t want to be seen near his office.”

 

Chip nodded, “I’m meeting him at 1500, I’ll get him up to speed. What’s your plan for the meeting with our thief?”

 

“Play it by ear, I have a transmitter if I can I’ll record his offer, but I suspect he’s going to be too careful for that. The good part is we don’t need enough evidence to prosecute him; the Admiral wants him identified so he can get him away from NIMR. Evidence would be nice, but isn’t essential.”

 

“Be nice to get him arrested though.”

 

“He gets fired from NIMR with no reference his science career will be toast. There’s no getting what he stole back in any case so we may need to be satisfied with that.”

 

***********

 

Three days later Chip and Lee checked into the Four Seasons and began what they hoped was the last act of a drama they’d been participating in for almost six months. When they arrived in their room there was a fruit basket and a note waiting for them. Lee opened the note and after a quick reading passed it to Chip.

 

“Beside the pool wearing only your trunks in ten minutes, so he watched us arrive. If you’re only wearing swim trunks no place to hide a wire, this guys thought this through or he’s been watching too much television.” Chip observed.

 

Lee rubbed his head irritably. “Glad I brought my trunks, we don’t have much time.” Lee began unpacking his bag as Chip wandered around their room looking in empty drawers and glancing at Lee periodically a small smile playing across his face.

 

“I can’t find my trunks, I know I packed them.”

 

“You need to be there in eight minutes want to borrow mine?”

 

“I’d better.” Lee straightened and seeing the gleam in Chip’s eye knew a moment of foreboding. That was the gleam that usually meant Lee was about to be on the receiving end of something Chip thought outrageously funny.

 

“You’re in luck I’ve never worn them, bought them especially for this occasion, kind of thought he might go for the swim trunks no wire routine.” The gleam in Chip’s eye was now a bit terrifying to Lee and he paused before taking the bag from his friend. He looked into the plastic sack for the trunks, half expecting to find a snake.

 

He thought as he struggled into the swimsuit that a snake might have been better than this.

 

“You need to tie them off let me just...” Chip leaned toward him and then stopped at the look on Lee’s face.

 

“I can figure it out, Mr. Morton, are you sure you wouldn’t like to do the meeting and I can guard the injector?”

 

“Oh, no, sir, I think we’d best stick to the plan. Now…” Chip had to turn away for a moment and compose himself before he could continue, “Now, sir, I believe the instructions were that you not carry a towel or wear anything other than the trunks.”

 

“So help me, Chip, the pay back on this may involve blood.” Lee said after a glance in the dresser mirror revealed the full horror of his situation.

 

“I’m sure I don’t understand, sir, I’m loaning you my trunks, if you don’t want them I’m certain…” Chip didn’t finish as Lee turned and walked out of the room without so much as a backward glance. As the door slammed Chip collapsed on the bed in uncontrollable laughter. My, oh my, revenge was sweet.

 

A minute later Chip stuffed the fuel injector in his pocket and grabbed his cell phone and headed for the door. He was laughing so hard he had a hard time getting the door open. He hurried down the hall to the service stairs.

 

When he came out of the service stairs Lee was standing prominently in the middle of the pool area obviously still waiting for the approach from their scientist. Chip ducked behind one of the many potted ferns and quickly shot several photos of his best friend. He wondered that Lee hadn’t thought to take any pictures of him with his donut all over his uniform. Lee was such a neophyte really when it came to payback.

 

Chip ducked back into the stairway examining his photos as he ran down the steps. He had to stop half way back to their room when he was again overtaken by a bout of laughter. The pictures were perfect it would be hard to select the best one for posting. Chip knew how much his four hundred and thirty Facebook friends would enjoy a picture of Lee on vacation at the Four Seasons. He thought maybe he would post half a dozen shots, be sure that everyone could see how very good Lee looked in his bathing suit.

 

 

 

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