LETTERS

By Mary Elliott

Excerpts from some of Lee’s letters to a special friend

2^ND GRADE

HELLO

I ASKED FOR A BIKE FOR MY BIRTHDAY. MY DAD GOT MAD. MY TEACHER SAID YOU HAVE EVERYTHING WHERE YOU LIVE. CAN YOU GET ME ONE? AN OLD ONE IS OK.

THANK YOU.

YOUR PAL, LEE CRANE

OCTOBER - 4^TH GRADE

Hi, it’s me again. Sister Mary George asked me about the bruise on my check. She wanted to know if Billy was still picking on me because I was so skinny. I couldn’t look her in the eye when I told her it was an accident. I lied when I told her Frank and I was messing around and I got hit. Sister said if that was the case we should be more careful. We had to set a better example for the younger children. I told her I was sorry and would do better. She is a nun, I shouldn't lie to her but I couldn’t tell her it was my dad who hit me. I left my baseball glove on my bed and did not put it in my closet. You know everything, Sister Mary George says. Why doesn’t my father love me?

JANURARY - 4^th GRADE

Did you talk to Sister Mary George? Because Father O’Brien is teaching me how to box? He said everyone should learn how to defend themselves; but to remember words are better than fists. After today’s lesson we sat on the back porch of the rectory with a bottle of coke and talked for over an hour. He explained sometimes people have trouble controlling their tempers and they might hit someone they really love. I nodded my head, promising myself to do better and not do anything to make my father get mad at me. I just want him to be proud of me.

APRIL - 4^th GRADE

I know it has been only a couple of months since I wrote you but after I showed up at school with a broken arm, Sister Mary George took me to Father O’Brien. They tried to tell me I was not in any trouble but wanted to know how I hurt myself. I lied, I know it was wrong, especially to a priest and nun, but it was my fault my dad got so mad at me. He warned me if I didn't get 100% on both my math and science tests he would punish me. I tried, but I only got 98% on the math test. I should have stayed up later and studied. I don’t think they believed me when I told them I fell down the basement steps, that I was fine, it didn't hurt.

I need your help. Please tell me what I should do. How can I make my dad love me?

APRIL- 4th GRADE –two days later

A social worker and policeman can to our house tonight. They talked to my father and mother, saying they were worried about all my accidents. My dad told them I was just a dumb, smart mouth kid who kept falling over his own two feet. The policeman, who said he was a cousin of Father O’Brien, took my dad into the kitchen to have a private talk, while the social worker tried to talk with my mom and me. I told her I fell, it was my fault. I should have been more careful. My mother just sat rocking in her chair, crying to herself. I think she was scared they would take dad away, and so am I. When Dad came back with Officer O’Brien he was awful quiet and holding his stomach. Miss Lendon gave me a card and said I could call her anytime. After they left, dad looked at me and told me to get to bed; he did not want to hear a sound out of me. But at least he didn’t hit me.

THE NEXT DAY

You have to help me. My dad is gone. When I woke up mom was just sitting in her rocker staring out of the window. She wouldn’t say anything except “he left me.” I got to find him. I got to make my mom better. It is my fault he left. My dad is right. I am just a stupid kid. Please, you helped me before, you got to help me now. I got to find him, I got to make my mom better. Please, you got to help me.

LATE JANUARY - 5^th GRADE

I'm in trouble and you’re the only one I can turn to. They want to take me away from my mother. She couldn't take care of me because she got sick again, and had to go into a special hospital. That stupid Miss London came again, this time with two policemen. I said I wouldn't go with them. It was my responsibility, I was the only one who could handle my mother. When the two officers grabbed me I freaked out and punched them. I punched them real hard, just like Father O'Brien taught me. That good old one-two combo. So now, I'm in Juvenile Hall. Tell me, what do I do now? You got do something. I can't stay here, I got to see my mother, and she needs me to be with her. I'm the only one that can help her.

EARLY FEBRUARY - 5^th GRADE

Boy, you sure work fast. Father O'Brien got me out of juvie. I have to stay with a foster family until he can work something out. I need to behave myself and no fighting. Didn't I listen to his lessons, think; use your brains, not your fists. He came back two weeks later. He told me I was going to a special school. At first, I thought it was reform school and I got scared, but he said a real good friend of his from the Navy got me a scholarship to a private school. I took a test and they placed me in the sixth grade because I was so smart. I have to wear a uniform like I was in the Army but I don't care. I don't have to live with people who don’t want me. They just took me in for the money. I heard them talking about me late at night, saying my mom was crazy and my dad was a drunk. I wanted to run away but I promised Father I wouldn’t. Now I'm glad I listened and stayed. He promised I could see my mother in a little while, someone would take me to the hospital when she was a little better. I don't know what you did or said, but thanks. I promise I won't let you down. I'll study real hard and obey the rules. Maybe you can still find my father and I can show him I'm not stupid and he'll be proud of me... and love me.

7^th GRADE

It was kind of hard last year starting so late and skipping almost a full year. I stayed through the summer and I caught up with no problem. I don't know if I will be staying the summer again this year, it all depends on my mother. It's lonely during the summer with so few students, but I'm used to loneliness. In one way, it’s easier with so few boys around. I have made friends with Tommy who is in the eighth grade. He doesn't talk about it but I think his home life is a lot like mine, even if he comes from a rich family. He's having trouble with his math and science classes so I've been tutoring him, in return, he's trying to get me to have more fun. He talked me into joining the boxing team after seeing me punch out a 10th-grader who was bullying a much younger kid. He said I’m a natural, that's when I told him about Father O'Brien and his lessons. I think there might be something wrong with Tommy, I mean, even more the coming from a lousy family situation. He's always willing to join in the fun but he seems to get tired real fast.

8^TH GRADE

I just want to let you know I'm doing great in my studies at school. One of the boy’s father is taking a group of us sailing the summer. He's going to give us lessons and then we are going to be his crew for a whole week on his sailboat. I can't wait. At first, I wasn't going to go because I should be at home to take care of my mom, but she said I should have some fun with my friends. It was a reward for being tops in my class again this year. My Spanish teacher is really excited about my sailing adventure. She said for me to become a well-rounded man I need more than study, I have to practice my social skills.

START OF 9^th GRADE

Tommy's not here this year. I kept asking the teachers what happened. I was really frightened maybe his dad started hurting him again since he didn't stay for summer sessions. They finally told us he was in the hospital with leukemia (I’m glad I’m a good speller). The doctors don’t have much hope he will survive the month. A few guys got special permission to visit him during a weekend leave, Ms. Lopez, our Spanish teacher, was going to supervise our visit.

I just got back today and now I'm sitting here on my private spot on the beach writing to you. He was so cheerful and saying he would be fine. He teased me about getting out of his math and science tutoring lessons with me. Tommy wanted to make sure I remembered to keep my left hand up to protect my face, and I was never to let my guard down. I really, really hate doctors and hospitals. They keep pretending to know what they're doing, but they don't. If they did, they wouldn’t let people suffer so much. After seeing what Tommy has been going through, I swear I'm never going to complain again when I'm sick or hurt.

November- 9th GRADE

Tommy's dead, and I wish I was too. I know you can't do anything about his death, but I wish you could help me feel better. He was my best friend, how do I go on from here? I don't ever want another best friend, I don't think I could get over losing someone like Tommy again.

10^th GRADE

I bet you’re surprised I'm writing you again without asking for something. I just want to show you I'm not so greedy after all. You know I made the swim team last year, this year they are teaching scuba diving to a select few. We had to get special permission because of our age. I didn't think I'd be able to take the lessons with my mom in the hospital again. I was shocked to learn I have some type of guardian who can okay such things. I realized he's been the one paying for my regular clothes and giving me a monthly allowance, none of that was part of the scholarship. No one will tell me who he is. I wish I could thank him. I told the Commandant I wasn't trying to get the information to ask for something else, I wanted to express how much I appreciate all his help. No dice. Major Dixon did tell me my guardian receives monthly reports on me and that he left specific instructions I was not to have any contact whatsoever with him. Maybe when I graduate I will discover his identity and I can finally tell him how grateful I am for his faith in me. I only wish my father could be here and see I'm not some stupid screw-up.

SENIOR YEAR

I know I haven't written to you for a long time. I guess I mostly write these letters when I'm scared or need something really bad. That's not wrong is it? I have tried not to ask you for too much, just your help when things got too tough for me. If I haven't thanked you enough before I’m thanking you again. You saved my life; I don't think I would have handled it without your guidance. I still can't believe I got into Annapolis. My mother is happy but she's getting sick again. When I went home for Father O'Brien's funeral, she was awfully quiet, just sitting on the couch and staring at her hands. I hope she doesn't have to go back to the hospital. I hate hospitals! Why can't those doctors make her well? You have helped me so much; can you try to help her?

PLEBE YEAR NAVAL ACADEMY

It’s been tough but I'm used to all the rules. I guess going to that military academy for seven years paid off. At first I didn't think I could stand one of my roommates. When he found out I was almost a year younger he started calling me baby every day. I could tolerate that, but when he made a comment about me probably crying at night wanting my mommy and daddy I blew up. I had him on the floor in a choke hold before anyone could stop me. I informed him he could say anything he wanted about me, but if he said one more thing about my mother it would be the last words out of his mouth for a month. After the other guys pulled me off he apologized and acknowledged he probably would react in the same way if someone talked about his mom like that. He shook my hand and offered me a brownie out of his care package from home. If Mrs. Morton would keep sending brownies like this, I guess I'll just have to make friends with her son. I like to call him Charlie just to aggravate him after one of the guys told me he hated that. Charles is okay, but he preferred to be called Chip. After two months of living together, I found out he had a wicked sense of humor, liked to play pranks. He reminds me a lot of Tommy; especially the shenanigans he gotten into. Maybe, just maybe, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship, just like Bogie said.

THIRD YEAR AT NAVAL ACADEMY

Those stupid doctors, don't they know what they're doing? How could they let my mother hurt herself? I don't know what I'm going to do. The Academy gave me a week's emergency leave and Chip’s parents are going to let me stay with them since they are only a half hour away from the hospital. They will meet me at the airport and Mrs. Morton agreed to stay with me at the hospital. I envy Chip his parents and his sisters; I now realize what I missed growing up with an abusive father and a mentally ill mother. No, it isn't her fault. She couldn't protect me from my dad, heck she couldn't even protect herself. Chip’s friendship and his whole family’s support these past three years has been my lifeline. I don't think I would have survived my first year here. You know how serious I was, I was withdrawn and I guess being the youngest plebe didn't help. You have helped me so much and I'm sorry I have to ask you again but can't you please help my mom. There has to be a doctor someplace that can make her better.

TWO WEEKS FROM GRADUATION

I did it! I'm going to graduate first in my class and Chip is a very close second. His father is busting with pride. I called the hospital. I saved up for my mom’s airfare, and they said she could come to the graduation. Now they are telling me she can't come without a nurse. I told them my mother would be flying with the Morton family. They would spend the day together and help keep an eye on her. Mrs. Morton planned on sharing the same hotel room; her husband wouldn't mind staying in a single room. But no! She needs a nurse with her and hospitalization won't cover it. I need to pay for another plane ticket and the nurses wages. What am I going to do now?

Chip’s sisters offered to give up their plane tickets for my mom and the nurse, but I can't let them do that! Their family has done so much for me already. Chip deserves his family, his whole family, to be here for graduation. Even if I could get the plane ticket, do you know how much private duty nurses make? I could never pay for that. Please tell me what am I going to do? I need my mother here. There's only one thing I can think of to do, but I don't know if I have the nerve.

One of the visiting teachers, Captain Nelson, is rich. He seems to like me when I took his class this year, even if I was always questioning him. I helped the Captain with a research project he was working on. There’s a rumor he is going to build his own research submarine. He’s already started a small Marine Institute, but he has plans to enlarge it in a couple years. If he has that kind of money, maybe he would make me a loan. We have a month’s leave before reporting to our first duty station. I could work for him and then repay the rest each month out of my paycheck; I don't need much to live on. I guess there is only one way to find out.

TWO DAYS LATER

Captain Nelson said not to worry about it. He’d take care of everything. He’s sending the Institute doctor named Jamison plus a nurse from the med lab. He joked about having to pay them anyway, so might as well let them earn their keep. There wasn't much work to keep them busy, just a couple bruises now and then from a playful shark or dolphin. I hope he was kidding about that shark because I'll be working in the lab for three weeks with Captain Emery. It was embarrassing at first when I asked him for the loan. I told him it was personal. He joked and asked me if it was a gambling debt, I told him I didn't play poker for money. Then he asked me if I got a girl in trouble. I must have turned three shades of red because he burst out laughing and guess that wasn't it either.

He promised he would help but I would have to trust him and tell him what the trouble was. He swore it wouldn't go any further than the two of us. At first I told him my mother was sick and needed a nurse, but something about him made me trust him. I explained the whole situation about my mother’s illness. How she was in and out of mental institutions since I was in fifth grade, her suicide attempts, everything about her. I couldn't bring myself to tell him about my father, how he left because I was such a disappointment to him. It’s funny he didn’t ask what hospital she was in or the doctor’s name. He wasn’t even shocked about my mother’s condition.

The Admiral told me not to worry; my mom would be here to see me graduate. You got to him first, didn’t you? You worked your magic on him, just like you interceded with all those other people in my past. I don’t know how many times a person can say thank you, but I promise I'll live my life in a way that you will be proud of me.

EIGHT MONTHS ABOARD SEAVIEW

I can't believe it. Creatures of the deep trying to crush the hull of the Seaview, mad scientist taking over the sub with plots to rule the world, aliens trying to take over our bodies, and Chip survived all that. And now he’s dying from a stupid monkey’s bite. It happened in the jungle when we were bringing out what was left of Dr. Glass’s medical team. I kidded him Jamie was going to get to work on him rather than me this time, that I didn't have a scratch on me. An hour away from the pickup point he started to show signs of fever and joint pain. At first he just shrugged it off. Of course he was hot; we were hiking through a steaming jungle. By the time Sharkey and Patterson showed up with the two rubber rafts, Kowalski and I were carrying him; he couldn't even stand. Why didn't the government warn us that bites from this species of monkeys was almost always fatal? Chip has slipped into a coma. Jamie is working around the clock trying to save him. The Admiral hasn’t been out of his lab searching for an antidote and calling all his contacts.

Dear God, you know that Chip is a good man, a loyal friend, and if ever a person deserves to live it is Chip. I want to be selfish and ask you to save him; I don't know what I'm going to do without my best friend, my brother. When I was young and started writing to you, I didn't think you had always answered my prayers. Later when I grew up I realized that sometimes the answer had been no. If this is one of those times, if you are calling my friend home to Your loving arms, I ask you to show me some compassion. Let him awaken from his coma, just for a little while. I need to tell him what he has meant to me, how my life has been made so much better with him in it. I need to tell him I love him. I need to say goodbye.

Please God please.

He put down the pen and closed his notebook. Lee took Chip's hand in both of his; kept his eyes on Chip’s face and waited once more for his prayers to be answered.