Limbo

by Diane Kachmar

“Skipper?”

Lee Crane reached for the microphone under the chart table. “Yes, Chief.”

“Pat discovered a hummer down here in the torpedo room. It’s not that bad yet, but the Exec wants you to come forward and assess the situation, sir.”

“Have you notified the Admiral?”

“Not yet. Shall I have him meet you here?” Sharkey asked.

“Yes.”

“Aye, sir.”

* * * * * *

Nelson cocked his head, listening. “She’s armed all right.” He lifted the inspection port gingerly. “We had better jettison her.”

Lee looked in over his shoulder. “We can’t load her armed. What if it goes off in the tube? We’d never survive it. Let me disarm it.”

“And have it blow up in your face? No, we don’t know what set it off. Let’s take it apart, and get rid of the explosives and the charge. If we wrap them in lead weights they should sink past any danger to shipping.”

Crane shook his head. “We can’t dump it live. That’s too hazardous. I’ll take a team topside with it. We’ll try to shut it down. That way, if she does go, there’s room to toss it over without endangering the rest of the crew or damaging the boat.”

Harry looked up at the determined face of his Captain. “All right, Lee, you can try. But if it even makes one click toward going up, it’s going over the side, dead or no. Pick your team and get on it. The sooner it’s out of here, the better.”

“Aye, sir.” Crane moved to the mic on the wall.

* * * * * *

“One more set,” Lee said, almost to himself as Chip handed him back the needle nose pliers to cut the wires he had isolated. Much as he hadn’t wanted Morton to volunteer to come topside and help, having Chip there was an advantage he wasn’t going to refuse. The steady calmness of his Exec beside him always helped him concentrate on the dangerous task at hand.

Crane closed the plier blades around the wires and cut them in two. He expected the humming to stop, but there was an ominous click and the hum became even louder. Even as Lee realized what he was hearing, which was totally wrong for what he had done, he felt himself being dragged away from the open casing.

“No, Chip!” He seized his friend’s arm. “Help me throw it over the side!”

Morton let him go and grabbed the trailing side of the open casing as Lee lifted it from the deck. Together they swung it once, twice and on the third swing, Crane yelled. “Now!!”

The casing went sailing over the starboard rail. Lee gave Chip a hard shove away from the side of the boat. “Hit the deck!” he yelled to the rest of his team.

His words were lost in a roaring rumble as the sea erupted in a geyser off the starboard bow. The explosive concussion knocked Lee from his feet as the deck tilted beneath him. There was something large and silver in front of him that he could not avoid. Crane hit the object hard. Water crashed down on top of him and he was smothered by the foaming sea. Dimly, Lee knew he should fight the pull, find something to stop his downward motion, but he couldn’t make himself move. He was sinking into cold dark nothing.

* * * * * *

His ears still ringing from the proximity of the explosion, Chip Morton tried to pick himself up from the soaked deck. The sub rolled under him and he grabbed for the nearest handhold. Water came rushing across the deck, engulfing him and trying to pluck him away. Chip held his breath as he clutched the raised handle harder, fighting off the pull until it subsided.

Gasping, Morton hauled himself upright, looking wildly around to check on the members of their damage control team. Next to him an alarm began to blare. The three detail members lay sprawled, clinging to various rails and handles. As his gaze swept over them, two of them began to stir. Chip did not see the person he was looking for the most. He half lunged, half slid to the closest seaman, grabbing him up by his collar. “Where’s the Skipper?”

The man looked up at him blearily. “He... hit... the conning tower.”

Chip released the man and he fell back to the deck, coughing. Morton ran for the base of the tower, but Crane wasn’t there. The water bubbled and frothed at his feet. Chip felt a sudden cold fear. He was over the rail and diving down before anyone could stop him.

* * * * * *

Nelson came out the side door, half expecting to find pieces of his damage control team scattered all over the deck. The three seamen on deck seemed to be intact, if soaking wet. Harry knelt down next to the one closest to the door.

“Steady,” he encouraged the man. “Where are the Captain and Mr. Morton?”

The man looked up at him in confusion. “They threw the warhead overboard before it blew. Aren’t they on deck?”

Nelson shook his head as one of Jamieson’s corpsmen knelt on the other side of the dazed seaman. “Scott!” He addressed the rating who was slowly sitting up a few feet away. “Have you seen Captain Crane?”

The crewman swiped at his forehead and his hand came away bloody. “I thought I saw him by the conning tower... then I blacked out. Mr. Morton was shaking me and I told him to go find him. Didn’t the Exec sound the alarm?”

“Frank.” Nelson motioned the corpsman toward Scott. “Let Frank take care of that cut. I’ll find them.”

“Aye, sir.”

As Harry came across the deck to the base of the conning tower, he did not find his two officers huddled there. Chip had come this way... where could he have gone? Nelson found his gaze drawn to the rail and the still roiling sea beneath it.

A blonde head broke the surface beneath his feet, gasping for air before he was dragged under again. Harry lunged under the rail, holding on with one hand, but his searching hand came up empty. Too late. “Frank!!!” he yelled as loud as he could.

He could hear footsteps clattering toward him as he continued to grope. “Get me a rope,” he demanded. “Commander Morton has been washed overboard!”

“I’ll get him, sir.”

Kowalski dove over the rail and disappeared into the boiling depths. A rope was thrust at him. Harry made it fast around the nearest cleat, tossing it over the side as a guide back for Kowalski. They had found Chip. Was Lee over the side as well?

A long moment passed, then Morton suddenly reappeared, flailing wildly. Harry reached under the rail, snagging his shirt collar. He kept hold of the Exec until Jamieson’s orderlies could drag Chip under the rail to safety. Nelson felt Frank latch onto his belt as a counterbalance to keep him from going over. Good man. The orderlies pulled Morton to the relative shelter of the conning tower. Frank let go of Harry and knelt down beside the gasping Exec.

Nelson tore his attention away back to the rail. Where was Kowalski?

The sonar man finally surfaced, bringing someone up with him. Lee. Thank God.

Kowalski clung to the rope, holding Crane up until the orderlies could latch onto the unconscious Captain and get him back on board. They rolled him on to the deck almost at Harry’s feet. Suddenly Jamieson was there. He had a resuscitator in his hand and he began using it to force Crane to breathe.

Nelson sank to his knees, watching the Doctor work. Lee did not move. “Are we in time?” Harry asked.

“He’s still alive,” Jamieson replied curtly, continuing his effort to revive Lee.

Nelson felt movement beside him and turned. Morton was trying to raise himself off the deck, despite Frank’s best effort to stop him. “Where’s Ski?” he asked hoarsely. “Did he get -- ”

“I’m here, sir.” A dripping Kowalski hunkered down on the far side of the Exec, a damp towel around his neck.

Chip looked up at him. “Came down... to give... me a hand... did you?”

Kowalski grinned. “You looked a little tired. All you needed was a push.”

Morton scowled, then coughed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Don’t... you know... we have regulations... against being... a guardian angel?” he growled.

“Angel, sir?” The sonar man grinned wider.

Morton considered that for a moment, then reached out and closed his hand around Kowalski’s arm. “That’s two I owe you.”

At that moment, Harry saw Lee’s chest rise out of the corner of his eye and he turned back to Jamieson. Billy had joined the Doctor and taken over working the resuscitator, so Jamieson could further assess Crane’s condition.

His movement back toward Crane attracted Morton’s attention. He tried to shake off Frank, but the corpsman held him down firmly. “Is Lee –“

“Stop fighting Frank, Chip! That’s an order.” Jamieson snapped over his shoulder. “Even Execs have free diving limits. Do you want to pass out?”

Chip rolled his head to one side, still agitated. “He had water in his lungs. He was sinking. Another minute...”

Frank gently put his hand on Morton’s arm and gripped it. “We know. You saved him. Let me take care of you now.”

“Will?” Morton demanded.

Jamieson rocked back on his heels. “Lee has a very large contusion on the back of his head. He hit something hard before he went over.”

“The conning tower, according to one of the detail,” Harry offered.

Jamieson sighed. “That would do it.”

“And?”

“I don’t know. Let me get him stable enough for transport below. Then we’ll see how bad it is.”

* * * * * *

He was still sinking. Lee could no longer feel the water around him. It was getting darker and darker. He’d be dead by the time he struck bottom. If he wasn’t already. Somehow he had not expected death to be a large black nothing. Where was the pain from the water that had invaded his lungs? He was in a place where nothing hurt. That was good, Lee thought as he sank down into oblivion.

* * * * * *

Nelson wasn’t sure if all the machines surrounding Crane were making him feel better or not. It was a pretty daunting array. Harry wished they weren’t needed, but Lee was showing no sign whatsoever of fighting back from unconsciousness.

Jamieson had been guardedly optimistic when he gave Nelson the results of his tests. Crane was in deep shock. That would disappear with time and treatment. Crane’s EEG confirmed he had brain activity and Lee was breathing on his own, so Doc was certain he would recover from the trauma eventually.

Harry slid down into the chair and carefully picked up Lee’s limp hand, enfolding it in his own. Sometimes that helped Crane find his way back.

* * * * * *

It felt like he had finally hit bottom, at least Lee couldn’t feel himself sinking anymore. He must be dead. But why was it so dark? Wasn’t there supposed to be a glowing light? Maybe he had to go look for it. There was something else he had to do, but Lee couldn’t remember what it was. Why was he here? He couldn’t remember that, either. What had he been doing to get here? It wouldn’t come to him. He was so tired. The darkness felt warm and safe. He really didn’t want to leave it. He would stay for a while. At least until he was used to being dead.

* * * * * *

“Harry.”

Nelson came awake abruptly to find Jamieson standing over him. The Doctor removed his hand from his arm. He pulled himself up stiffly in the chair, aware of the amused smile the Doctor was trying not to show him. “Is Lee any better?”

Will shook his head. “Can’t tell yet. His vital signs are up and stronger, but he’s still unconscious.”

“But he is improving?”

“Yes,” the Doctor admitted and shrugged. “Lee will wake up when he’s ready to. He usually does. But I doubt it will be tonight. So why don’t you take the other rack. At least that way you won’t end up with a stiff neck.”

“Are you sending me to bed, Doc?” Nelson asked quietly.

“Right now, Lee doesn’t know you’re here. Tomorrow may be different. And you’ll be much more use to me then, if you are rested.”

Harry stood up slowly. “Okay, Will. I see your point.” He looked around the deserted sickbay. “How did you get Chip to leave?”

“He’ll be back at first morning watch, but I persuaded him you were enough of a vigil, even if you were asleep when he asked.” Jamieson let the amused smile form.

Nelson grinned back at him. “Why do you put up with us?”

Will threw up his hands. “Beats me.”

* * * * * *

It was still dark. That was wasn’t right. He should try and find some light. There had to be light somewhere. Lee willed his body to get up and go look for it.

* * * * * *

Chip sat up in the chair as one of Jamieson’s many machines started chattering and printed out a report. Crane twitched slightly and almost immediately subsided, the movement so small that Chip couldn’t quite believe he’d seen it. Morton pressed the slack hand cradled in his in sudden hope, but no answering pressure came back. Maybe he had imagined it.

“Jerry!” Morton tried to get the med tech’s attention. “You got the latest stock report or something... were you expecting one?”

Jerry came over. “Not really. Doc said something might trigger the machine, but not to look for it.”

Chip gestured at the printout. “Good news?”

Jerry scanned the report. “Not really. It’s another increase in brainwave activity. He was doing that all night and he still didn’t wake up.”

“So what does it mean? Is he coming out of it?”

“He might be.” The med tech shrugged. “Or he’s dreaming.”

“I wonder about what... ” Chip smiled down at his friend.

“Who knows. But with that bump on his head, he’s not going to remember any of them.”

“Too bad,” Chip replied. “I bet Lee’s having some doozies.” He laid Crane’s hand gently back on the bed. “Tell Doc – when he wakes up – to send me an update. I’ll be in my cabin, receiving morning reports.”

“Yes, Commander.”

* * * * * *

Lee knew there had to be light. He should be going up to it. Had he sunk too low to get back? He tried again to remember why he was there. Something had happened. It was painful. He didn’t want to go there. But Lee had to. He wouldn’t find the light until he did.

* * * * * *

The EEG machine started printing, startling Harry and he quickly placed Lee’s hand back on the bed. “Will?” He turned in the chair.

“No need for alarm.” The Doctor came out of his office to stand behind him. “Apparently it’s going to do that from time to time. Lee must be dreaming again.”

“I thought you said he was in a coma.”

“No, I said he was comatose and unresponsive to stimuli. All this brain activity is a good thing, actually. He’s in there, somewhere.”

“Why doesn’t he wake up?”

Jamieson put his hand down on the chair. “He should. I’m not sure why he hasn’t yet. Could be trauma. Lee took a major blow to the head. It could take him a while longer to come back from that.”

“Can we do anything?”

“At this point, I think it’s better to let him keep dreaming and come out of it on his own. You can hold his hand if you like.”

Nelson looked up. “If you think it would help.”

* * * * * *

If only he had some reference point. Something to hang on to until Lee found the light.

He knew he was close. He could almost touch it, all tall and silver. It loomed in front of him. Lee felt himself smash into something unyielding. Then he was falling into the black once more.

* * * * * *

Chip tried not to jump as the peep of Lee’s cardiac monitor took a sudden spike and then went back to normal on the next peep. Morton waited for another spike. Nothing happened. He needed to stop reacting like that. Activity was a good thing, Will had said.

Morton looked around. None of the medical staff seemed concerned about it. Chip moved closer to the bed and reached for Lee’s hand. To let Crane know, wherever he was, that someone was there watching over him.

* * * * * *

Lee expected to fall a long way, but that was not the way it had happened. Something had stopped his fall. He had been sinking past light, life and someone had grabbed him. That person started pulling him up, back toward the light. He wasn’t going to let Lee die in the cold dark. Crane did not belong here. There was something he had to do. He had to find his way back.

* * * * * *

“Kowalski.”

The sonar man looked up at the Doctor’s voice. “Time to go?”

“No,” Jamieson shook his head. “You’re fine. I want you to help me try something.”

“Me, sir?” Ski asked, confused.

“Yes. It’s all right. I want you to pick up the Skipper’s hand for a moment.”

“Uh, I...”

“It’s okay. It’s only a theory and it may not work. Go on.”

Ski gingerly took up Crane’s limp hand in his, feeling kind of foolish. But he had to have faith Doc had a reason for asking him to.

Kowalski almost lost his hold on the Captain when the EEG machine started printing a report.

“Interesting,” Jamieson said almost to himself.

“Was that me?” Kowalski asked, tightening his grip on Crane’s hand.

“I’m not sure,” Doc admitted as he came around the bed to take the report out of the machine. “Why don’t you hang on to him for a few more minutes until I compare this one with some others I have and I’ll let you know.”

“I can do that?”

Jamieson smiled. “Guardian angels get special dispensations.”

Kowalski grinned. “Heard that, did you?”

Doc nodded. “It’s less obvious when you sit in the chair. I won’t be long.”

Ski sank down into the chair gratefully. If he could help, he certainly wanted to.

* * * * * *

Lee could see the light now, one golden colored shaft mingled with one tinged red.

He was being dragged toward it. They would not let him die in the dark. There was something he had to do in that place of light. Something important. If he could only remember what it was.

* * * * * *

“Come here.” Jamieson practically escorted Nelson over to the Sickbay bed. “I need you to help me. I think I’ve found a way to wake Lee up.”

Harry let himself be led to the chair. “I thought you wanted him to come back on his own.”

“I don’t think he can. He has been responding to stimuli since last night, only we didn’t know it. Were you by any chance holding Lee’s hand this morning, when this EEG printout was made?”

Nelson looked at the time at the top of the sheet on Will’s clipboard. “Yes, I was. What does that prove? You said his dreams were triggering the machine.”

“I was wrong about that,” Will replied. “It was someone holding his hand that triggered the dreams that set off the machine.” Jamieson riffled the printouts on his clipboard. “You started it, Chip helped it along and he even responded to Kowalski.”

Harry raised an eyebrow.

Jamieson shrugged. “Ski was a good blind test, since he was here visiting. It worked.”

“So what do you want me to do?” Nelson slid into the chair. “Hold his hand again?”

“Yes, only this time talk to him. Give him something to come back to.”

Harry reached out for Lee’s hand. “Okay, if you think this will work.”

* * * * * *

Lee had finally made it to the light. The dark could no longer hold him. He hadn’t died when the torpedo casing had exploded, they had thrown it overboard. It should not have exploded when he disarmed it. The wires he cut were supposed to shut it down. There was something wrong with the wiring. He had to tell the Admiral.

“I’m here, son.” Nelson came walking out of the light, his hand extended.

Lee took his hand. “The warhead was defective. We have to check the rest of them.”

“Come on, show me.” Nelson started pulling him back toward the light and Lee followed him willingly.

* * * * * *

“Lee?” Nelson leaned forward as Crane’s eyes fluttered open momentarily and then closed again. “I’m here, son. Come on, show me you hear me. Wake up.”

Lee rolled his head slightly and tried to open his eyes again. Nelson clutched his hand tighter. Crane’s fingers suddenly wrapped around his with surprising strength. “Admiral?” he whispered, barely audible.

“Yes, Lee. We need you awake. Can you do that for me?”

Crane swallowed hard, shifting slightly on the bed. “Warhead... check...” Lee’s voice was still faint, but he seemed to gain strength as he struggled to get the words out. Nelson glanced swiftly at Jamieson. The Doctor nodded.

“There was only one defective warhead, Lee. We checked all of them. The boat is not in danger.”

“Good.” Crane’s tight grip on him relaxed slightly. “My team...”

“They are fine, Lee. You, on the other hand, hit the conning tower and were washed overboard.”

“Chip was there...”

Nelson exchanged another glance with Jamieson.

“Someone else... dark...” Lee closed his eyes.

“Yes, we almost lost you, son. Now I need you to stay awake.”

Crane smiled weakly. “Backwards.”

Harry didn’t understand at first, until Jamieson’s mouth pulled sideways in an uncharacteristic smirk.

“No, Lee. Not this time,” the Doctor replied. “You need to stay conscious, if you can.”

Lee slid his eyes open slowly. “I’m here, Jamie. It’s so much better than the dark.”

Nelson felt Lee press his hand again. He looked up at Jamieson in relief.

Will smiled back and mouthed silently, don’t let go.

Harry nodded in understanding and tightened his hold on Crane’s hand.

“Frank!” Jamieson called out to his assistant. “Call Commander Morton. Tell him I have someone here he wanted to see.”

“Aye, sir.” Frank clicked on the intercom.

“Think the crew will get out of his way?” Nelson asked, amused.

“They’d better,” Jamieson replied.

The End

©Diane Kachmar, 2003. All rights reserved.