*Thank you Kate for beta-ing.
Scout’s Honor
By Sea Spinner
“I’m telling
you, Ski, you’re wrong,” Sharkey said adamantly.
Patterson
hit Kowalski lightly on his arm. “I’m
with Sharkey, Ski. You’re on your own
with this one.”
Kowalski
scowled. Since when was he wrong about anything the Skipper did? “You’ll both see, the Skipper’ll…”
“The
Skipper will what, Kowalski?” snapped Chip Morton.
The rating
gave the XO a guilty look. “Well, Sir,
uh, I, um…”
Sharkey
jumped to Kowalski’s rescue. “You see, Mister
Morton, the Admiral isn’t coming on this cruise, Sir. He came down with a sudden bout of that
stomach virus, which means…”
A call
from Captain Crane interrupted Sharkey’s explanation.
“Mister
Morton, report to the bridge at once!”
Chip
frowned. “I wonder what’s going on.”
“That’s
what I’ve been trying to tell you, Sir.
The Skipper’s not going to like this cruise one bit.”
“Why?”
Sharkey,
Kowalski and Patterson all grinned at each other.
“Girl Scouts,”
replied Sharkey.
“What?”
“The
guests on this voyage are a pack of Girl Scouts from Santa Barbara,” Sharkey
said apologetically. “I guess the
Skipper just found out.”
The color
slowly drained from Chip’s face. “Girl Scouts,
oh no.”
“Mister
Morton, whenever you’re ready,” growled Lee’s voice over the intercom.
“I wonder
if it’s too late to come down with the Admiral’s mysterious stomach flu’,” he
muttered, heading quickly towards the door.
By the
time Chip hit the control room, he could tell that Lee had a full head of steam
up. His eyes zeroed in on Chip, and he
swallowed nervously. Perhaps now would
be a good time to ask Jamie to slip Lee a sedative.
“Mister
Morton, would you be kind enough to escort our…our guests onto Seaview and take personal responsibility for them while they’re on board.”
“Yes,
Sir.” He stood in front of Lee for a few
more seconds, trying desperately to find the words, but without success.
“I’ll be
in my cabin,” snapped Lee, turning on his heel.
Chip
watched Lee retreat and sighed. Things
were going to get ugly. Talk about a
recipe for disaster. Take one
disgruntled submarine Captain, add twelve hormonal teenage girls to the mix and
watch the sparks fly. He fervently hoped
that it wasn’t the same unit from last year.
He groaned out loud as memories of the trip came back to him. Until that
voyage, he’d always thought that Girl Scouts were cute little girls who
were well behaved. No wonder the Admiral
had stomach troubles - he could already feel an ulcer coming on.
“Excuse
me, Mister Morton, the Girl Scouts are asking permission to come aboard.”
“Ah,
Chief, could you please escort them to their cabins, get them settled in and
show them to the observation nose? Oh,
and I’m making you personally responsible
for them while they’re on board.”
Sharkey
looked horrified, and Chip had to bite his tongue to stop the bubble of
laughter from bursting out.
“But Sir,
shouldn’t someone more senior than me be responsible for them, no disrespect
intended?”
Okay, maybe if I dig my fingernails into my palm
I won’t laugh,
thought Chip.
“Chief,”
he replied with his best straight face.
“How much trouble can they be? After
all, they’re only a few young girls?
Mister O’Brien, you have the con,” he managed as Sharkey growled a
response that he missed completely.
Chip managed
to get as far as the top of the stairs as a howl of laughter made it out. After a few moments he was able to compose
himself and headed towards the wardroom to make sure Cookie had organized
refreshments for their visitors. As he
passed Lee’s cabin he heard raised voices.
“I tell
you I’m fine,” snapped Lee’s voice.
“After
last time, it’s a wonder the Admiral even allowed them back through the front
gate,” came Jamie’s voice of reason.
“Jamie, I
tell you, I’m okay. Besides, Chip’s got
the matter in hand.”
“Oh, is
that why I heard him chortling at the top of the stairs just now?”
“What?”
Uh oh, now
there’ll be trouble, thought Chip as he nearly ran all the way to the gangway,
bumping into Cookie as he walked around a corner at the wrong time. The food and drink ended up scattered all
over the passage, Chip and Cookie. Chip
didn’t need to see the look on Cookie’s face to know he was in real trouble.
“I, uh,
sorry, Cookie, I promise I’ll make it up to you,” he apologized hurriedly.
He dusted
himself off as best he could and continued his mission, feeling guilty for
leaving the chef with such a mess to clean up.
By the time he got to the gangway the Girl Scouts had disappeared and
the Lee had paged him to his cabin. It’s
happening again, he thought miserably, only it was him, not Lee who was in the
firing line this time.
Chip made
it to Lee’s cabin in record time, successfully avoiding what was left of
Cookie’s refreshments on the way. He
knocked on Lee’s door and waited.
“Come in!”
Lee looked
furious, but as soon as he saw Chip, the anger turned to amusement. “Is that pavlova?”
Chip
nodded. “And some lemonade,” he groaned.
His friend
smiled. “I suppose that happened when
you were on your way to the gangway?”
“Yes,” he
replied sheepishly. “I was in a hurry
and Cookie was coming around the corner and…”
He threw his hands in the air.
“Well,
you’d better get cleaned up. Sharkey’s
giving the Scouts a safety brief in the observation nose.”
Chip
turned to leave.
“Oh, and
if I were you, I’d wash your hair, although the Kiwi fruit will probably put a
nice shine in it,” Lee teased.
Chip
pulled a piece of fruit from his hair.
“You’re actually enjoying this, aren’t you?” he accused.
The more
Lee’s amusement grew, the more glowering Chip became
“I think
you’d better freshen up and see to our passengers, Mister Morton.”
“Aye,
Sir,” he said glumly.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Chip
showered and changed and was heading for the observation nose when he took one
step down the spiral staircase and slipped on something. The resulting crack in his ankle as he hit the deck and the bottom told everyone in the nose
that there was a broken bone. Sharkey
quickly ran to his side, calling for O’Brien to get Jamie. As he got to Chip he saw the offending
article that had been responsible for Chip’s fall.
“What
happened,” moaned Chip.
Sharkey
gave him a look that told Chip he wasn’t going to like the answer. He held up a pen for Chip to see, it had a
Girl Scout emblem emblazoned on it. It
was the same unit as the one that had caused the chaos and mayhem last
year. Sharkey watched as Chip’s face
grew red.
“Now
Mister Morton, Sir, Doc’s on his way, so is the Skipper. You just lie back and…and relax.”
“Relax!” bellowed Chip. “I’ll…”
“Mister Morton! Jamie will have you in sick bay in a flash.”
Chip
looked up to see Lee standing over him, obviously caught between mirth and
concern.
“Oh,
Captain Crane, I’d given up all hope of seeing you on this trip,” said a mildly
attractive brunette wearing a Girl Scout leader’s uniform one size too small.
Chip felt
a smile on his own lips when he realized that a broken ankle was nothing
compared to what Lee would be going through with the middle-aged Girl Scout
leader, Miss Ames.
He smugly
watched as Lee took an unintended step backwards towards the staircase. “Ah, Mrs Ames, I’m sorry I haven’t made an
appearance. I
was waiting until you’d settled in,” he said without missing a beat.
Liar!
Cowering in your cabin more likely, thought Chip.
The Leader
stepped a little closer to Lee, as if imparting a secret. “Oh, you bad boy, you know it’s Miss Ames.” She tapped her wedding finger. “I’m not married – yet,” she said with a
meaning nobody in the immediate vicinity could miss.
Lee gave
Chip a ‘you just wait’ look, then returned Miss
Ames’ smile. Jamie finally made an
appearance followed by two corpsmen carrying a stretcher. He quickly assessed the damage to Chip’s
ankle.
“He’ll be
out of commission for a while, Skipper.”
He motioned for the corpsmen to place Chip on the stretcher. “It looks like a clean break in his ankle.”
Normally
he would have protested loudly about having to be on a stretcher, but for once
all he wanted was the fastest route out.
It was only when Chip saw the cornered animal look in Lee’s eyes that he
felt a pinch of remorse. The feeling
quickly evaporated when he saw Lee give him one last ‘you’re really going to
pay for this’ glare. Oh yeah, he might
be in sick bay, but at least he would be safe.
There was no way Jamie would let the hormones on legs into his sick bay, so he lay back and smiled despite
the pain.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Chip
rubbed his eyes. The anesthetic was just
wearing off and he thought he was having a nightmare. There were six Girl Scouts standing around
his bed, just staring at him. Jamie was
at the end and looked resigned to having the girls in his sick bay.
“It was
the Skipper’s idea,” he explained without being asked. “These, er, young ladies are going for their
First Aid badge.”
The XO
heard a muffled laugh from the corridor and raised an irritable eyebrow at
Jamie.
Jamie
shrugged helplessly. “He came to check
if you were alright, but as soon as he saw you were waking up he left.”
“I’ll
bet,” grumbled Chip, giving up spending the rest of the cruise in the sanctuary
of sick bay.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Lee made
his way back to the control room to find utter mayhem. The rest of the Girl Scouts were doing their
best to disrupt every operational workstation in the room.
“Mister O’Brien!” yelled Lee before checking
his temper. “What is the meaning of…of
this?”
O’Brien
came to attention. “I’m sorry, Skipper,
they just over-ran us. While you were
gone, Mrs Ames seemed to have lost all control over them.”
“Miss Ames,” he muttered. “Get the Chief up here and have them herded
back to the observation nose. I’m going
to the sickbay to get something for my headache.”
“Sir,”
called
“Very
well,” he replied, strode over to the radio shack
and retrieved the mic. “Admiral, how are
you?”
“I’m
improving all the time, how’s the voyage going?”
Lee could
have sworn at that moment he heard a French Horn in the background –
impossible. “I’ve
had better cruises, Admiral.”
“Oh,
that’s no good. Well, I suppose I’d
better go, I’m feeling sick again.”
“Harry,
put the phone away, you’re embarrassing me.
It’s a concert, not a meeting,” hissed a voice Lee recognized straight
away as Edith Nelson’s.
“Uh, Sir,
are you – “
“Sorry,
Lee. Gosh, I think I have to head off to
the toilet quickly. I’ll see you in a
few days.”
Lee stood
holding the phone to his head – the Admiral had been at a concert with his
sister, not in bed, not in hospital, but at a
concert.
“Skipper,
are you alright?” asked
He passed
the phone back to the radio operator and nodded. “I will be, eventually.”
He’d
reached the top of the spiral stairs before
“Chip, we
have to talk.”
“What
about? I think I’ve suffered enough this
trip,” he complained.
Lee gave
him an evil grin. “The Admiral’s not
sick, he’s at a concert with Edith, and I’ve just had an idea of how to get
even with him.”
Chip’s
face broke into a similar smile. “Oh,
and what would that be?”
First Lee
ushered the Girl Scouts out of the sick bay then
leaned closer to Chip’s ear so that even Jamie couldn’t hear what he was
saying. Lee watched Chip’s face light up with the anticipation of evening the score with
the Admiral.
“I wonder
if there’s a Stores Stowage Badge,” winked Chip.
“I’m sure
we can think of some way the girls can earn some badges.”
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Four days
later, Seaview docked back at Santa
Barbara, with most of the crew the worse for wear. Jamie had ended up locking himself in the sickbay
for long periods of time and Lee wondered if he had a secret stash of whiskey
in there.
Chip was
finally wandering around on crutches, but avoiding the Girl Scouts like the
plague, and Lee had successfully managed to last the whole cruise without being
accosted by Miss Ames.
“Sir, I’ve
just had a message from the gangway, the Admiral’s on his way down.”
“Thanks,
Ski.” Lee looked at Chip. “Are you all set for a quick getaway?”
Chip
tapped the cast on his leg. “I’ll try my
best.”
“Lee,
Chip…what happened to you, Chip?” the Admiral asked jovially.
“Nothing
much, Sir, just tripped on the stairs.
Jamie said it’s healing well and I’ll be out of plaster in a few weeks.”
Nelson
glanced at Lee. “How did it go,
Lee? Did Mrs Ames and the girls have a
nice trip?”
Lee
flicked his eyes towards Chip and smiled.
“Yes, Admiral, Miss Ames and
the girls had a very eventful and rewarding trip.”
The
Admiral looked impressed. “Well, if you
need me, I’ll be in my cabin.”
“Almost
everyone’s been released on shore leave, Admiral, so Chip and I thought we
might head into town for a quiet drink”
“Where are
you going? I might join you.”
“I’m not
sure yet, we’ll give you a call.”
“Very
well, I’ll see you later.”
“Yes Sir,”
they both replied simultaneously.
“Oh, Sir,
we bought you a couple of packets of the Girl Scout cookies. I know how much you enjoy them,” said Lee.
“Very
thoughtful of you both, where are they?”
“In your
cabin, Sir, Scout’s honor,” he said, ignoring the mirth on Chip’s face.
They waited
until the Admiral had made the top of the stairs.
“Right,
let’s go.”
Lee helped
Chip up and they stealthily followed the Admiral to his cabin. Chip was barely holding back his
laughter. They stuck their heads around
the corner of the passage just in time to see Nelson open his door and fall
backwards under a large pile of Girl Scout cookie packets. There were many more where they’d come from –
much more.
“What the
devil?” roared Nelson. “Captain Crane,
Lieutenant Commander Morton, I’ll have your hides for this.”
“Time to
leave,” said Lee.
“I think
this calls for a few drinks to celebrate.”
“No, to
forget.”
“Forget
what?” frowned Chip.
“That
we’ll be scrubbing the decks with our toothbrushes for the next month,” Lee
moaned. “But it was worth it.”
The End