Wet

By R. L. Keller

It was one of those thankfully rare days in Santa Barbara where the rain was coming down so hard that the drainage systems around the Nelson Institute of Marine Research were only marginally able to keep up. The blond’s drive in from his condo had been bad enough. He’d barely been able to keep the SUV, even with its all-wheel drive, on the road without hydroplaning into a ditch. Now he faced a parking lot almost an inch deep in standing water, with almost that much more coming down every minute. He parked, took a deep breath, grabbed his briefcase, and made a mad dash up the steps leading to NIMR’s Admin building. He heard a whistle through the deluge but ignored it until he was inside the front doors. From there he watched his CO – and best friend – make the same “Dash For Dry” that he had.

Once inside, as the brunet gave himself a shake, he grinned at Chip. “I think I should have worn my swimsuit this morning, and changed once I got here,” Lee said, looking down as his decidedly soggy appearance.

“I think I should have stayed in bed,” Chip muttered back. He glared out the closed doors into the continuing deluge. “I think I need a drink.”

“It’s only 0725 hours,” Lee admonished him.

“Your point?” Chip turned the glare on his friend. With another chuckle from Lee and a frown from Chip, the pair headed for their respective offices.

But even Chip’s third cup of coffee couldn’t trigger his brain to ignore the rotten picture out his office windows and focus on the reports in front of him on his desk. Instead, he found himself grabbing a blank notepad and doodling grumpily.

Soggy, Soggy Day (to the tune of Starry, Starry Night, with very sincere apologies to Don McLean)

Soggy, soggy day

Paint your window dark and wet

Look out on a winter set

With heavy clouds that mask a bright blue sky

Clouds on top of clouds

Drench the shrubs and sagebrush hills

Coupled with the winter chills

Together work to scramble normal thoughts

Now I understand

Why my mind is so depressed

Why my psyche so distressed

My friends all think I’m weird.

They would not listen

They ignore my whines

I think I need some wine.

Soggy, soggy day

Flowers drooping from the weight

Traffic slowdowns made me late

My eyes reflect how strong my headache pounds

Paperwork abounds

But it’s hard to concentrate

I don’t know if I can make

Myself complete the necessary work

Now I understand

Why my mind is so depressed

Why my psyche so distressed

My friends all think I’m weird

They would not listen

They ignore my whines

I think I need some wine.

For it’s said that sunshine

Lightens every soul

And when there’s only rain and fog and

Nothing else to think about

My brain dissolves into a murky mire

I should have realized before

That my bed was where I

Should have stayed this morning. Too late now.

Soggy, soggy day

My brain is empty of all thought

Because of soaking shoes and socks

From walking through the NIMR parking lot.

I’ll never get them dry

In time for meetings I can’t miss

Oh, wouldn’t it be such bliss

To simply crawl back into my warm bed.

Now I think I know

What it is that I must do

First I need to find dry socks and shoes

Then get my six in gear

They will not listen

To my dumb complaints

They’re just as wet as me!

Chip polished off his fifth cup of coffee and looked down at what he’d written, suddenly bursting out laughing at himself. “Chip, old boy, you’d better hide this where Lee can NEVER find it,” he continued to chuckle. “You’ll never hear the end of it.” He took his ramblings, stuffed them in his very bottom drawer, and reached for the stack of reports.