COSTUME PARTY (THE UNOFFICIAL VIEWS)

CUDDLING CRANE

Votes had already been tallied for the best costume at last weekend's Costume Party; but it's a sure bet there may be several write-ins to declare a 'special mention' for an unintended guest, in a beautiful fur coat, who crashed the party and insisted on nuzzling Captain Crane in full view of everyone.

That's right, the Skipper's latest sweetie is none other than a female Border Collie puppy, courtesy of 'Lucky', who you may recall is owned by one of Crane's Navy colleagues, Lt.Cmdr. 'Joe' Jackson.

The pup arrived via Fur-Ball Express, noted live cargo transport specialists, as a complete surprise to Captain Crane just minutes after the party had gotten underway. Despite plenty of attention, she was temporarily and reluctantly secured in one of the center's little used and uncarpeted offices.

The puppy is still nameless, and the Skipper is accepting nominations before he has to register her with the city. Should he be unable to decide, the winning name will be picked out of a bag by one of the NIMR staff.

Up for grabs will be an interim dog sitter while Crane makes some kind permanent arrangement for when he's at sea. Rumor has it that he's already drafted his long distance Mom with the promise of a month long stay in Las Vegas as well as her own condo here, but that hasn't been confirmed or denied by the parties in question.

MORTON MAYHEM

Executive Officer Chip Morton shed his immaculate image nearly causing a riot at the party as one lady after another vied with each other to become the bare chested Roman Gladiator's companion. Some had even begun to resort to a full frontal attack by trying to stuff dollar bills (denominations unknown)into his leather belt in their desire to enslave him before his personal guest, Ms. Kim 'Q' declared firmly 'Look, but don't touch' to the other ladies and enjoyed his undivided attention for the rest of the evening

CASHMERE KITTY DUNKS DECK

Cashmerian,NIMR's adopted cat, originally a stowaway aboard Seaview, was responsible in part for a soaking the patio received when Captain Crane tripped over him, spilling an after dinner coffee on the cat, Miss Angie, and the deck. While one cup of coffee didn't do much damage, the hot beverage not only raised the feline's fur, but also the hackles of our Administrative Assistant who couldn't help jerking backwards into some Champaign cooling in a bin of ice beside the bar. Needless to say the decking got a proper libation of both the bubbly and ice cold H2O, and Cashmerian and the Skipper found themselves in the doghouse.

In point of fact Captain Crane was in the doghouse literally, as he took the cat to the closest vet with emergency evening services, then remembered he still needed supplies for his puppy, and the only pet store open was aptly called 'The Doghouse'.

While Cashmerian's been given a clean bill of health, Miss Angie's sweater, alas, was mortally wounded.

CINDERELLEN?

Admiral Nelson's personal guest, Dr. Ellen Bryce, brought a new version of the old story to the fore when the heel of one of her 'tart's boots broke off just as he'd taken her to the dance floor for the Tango contest. Removing both shoes, she continued the dance in her stocking feet, batting nary an eyelash.

However, the footloose footwear quickly disappeared when Crane's puppy escaped her prison via a loose latch and quickly pilfered them. While Nelson and company tried to capture the pup and stop her from enjoying an impromptu snack, Admiral Starke took over as Dr. Bryce's companion and entertained her with a rousing rendition of 'A Whale of a Tale'.

A contrite Captain, who'd finally managed to lure and pull the reluctant canine out from under a corner table, was about to return the sodden, chewed up footwear when Admiral Nelson waylaid him and presented Ellen with a pair of unused sneakers he'd quickly ordered brought from supply. On bended knee, he helped her into the 'slipper's, canvas though they were.

BIG BAD WOLF TAKES A BACK SEAT

The Big Bad Wolf took a back seat to the big bad banana when Little Red Riding Hood (Miss Maria Amore) took Capt. Crane to task for having also invited another 'personal ' guest, Miss Molina Gounaris.

While our ripening Yellow Banana tried to point out his invitation hadn't actually indicated a 'date', similar questions were about as quickly alluded to by Miss Gounaris, and Miss Stewart, who had also assumed, perhaps prematurely, for a little one- on- one time with the Commander for the evening's festivities.

Ruffled feathers were somewhat soothed over by the ever diplomatic Admiral Park, self appointed mediator, who read the accumulated invitations and declared while yes, indeed, the girls may have read 'something' into them, but he didn't believe Crane realized the friendly urgings to attend could have been construed as anything but.

While bruised feelings were salved, along with effuse apologies and over-attentiveness toward the gaggle of girls by Crane for the misunderstanding, it goes without saying that our bruised banana would probably rather have been back on the boat in his Banana Yellow wetsuit far, far away.

MOVING VIOLATION

Seaman Kowalski was happily doing his lip sinc of 'You ain't nothing but a hound dog' for the Talent Show, when he was halted by Commander Morton for a 'moving violation' which only added to the fun before he continued the Elvis (The Pelvis) impersonation which won first place.

Coming in second was Miss Amore's 'Funky Chicken' dance, third was Admiral Starke's unofficial entry of 'Whale of a Tale', and honorable mention belonged to Miss Gounaris, who'd drafted Crane to place a Martini on her contorted and bent over backward tummy which made waves as part of her daring belly dance.

While the prizes were distributed to First, Second, and Third place winners; Miss Gounaris,( and for that matter, Cmdr. Crane), were no where to be found for the presentation of the honorable mention leaving an unconsumed bag of jelly beans and widespread and renewed speculation about those invites.

SPECIAL PRESENTATION

Miss Betty Harmon, so essential rendering aid to the Skipper on a recent assignment, was honored by NIMR with a special presentation at the close of the evening. Not only did she receive a gold inlaid plaque, a certificate signed by all hands from NIMR and Seaview, but also the keys to a brand new and bright red (The Skipper chose the color) Cadillac.

The car sports the classic tail fins which the fleet of automobiles was known for at one time, and Nelson, when handing her the keys, told her she now had her own little roadside version of Seaview as well.

A bit overwhelmed with the surprise, Capt. Crane then kissed her on the cheek and led her to the front of the center, where the car had been brought by security for display.

Inside the glove compartment was a month long vacation packet for any destination of her choice, to make up for her lost vacation.

IN CLOSING

In closing, the Luau themed Costume Party was a huge success, and despite some of the unexpected glitches, a great time was had by all.