When Love Hurts
Unfortunately, domestic violence is common. It happens every day and to people that we all know.
Some people ask,"Why doesn't she just leave?"
I've written a short poem to show you a day in the life and mind of an abused wife. I hope it helps you to understand.
Sadly enough, my daughter was in this situation so I have knowledge of this firsthand.
She thinks, "I'll be real good and then he won't start."
She rises and dresses and plans out her day,
He is the boss, she has nothing to say.
She cleans and she polishes and prepares him his food,
All the while hoping he is in a good mood.
Today I've done good she convinces herself,
Taking the napkins down from the shelf.
She hears his car coming
She knots up inside.
Will he kiss me or hit me?
He will decide.
For I am his wife I deserve nothing more,
She watches him walk in through the front door.
His face filled with anger,Her hands start to shake
He's mad because somebody left out the rake.
He hits her and throws her down to the floor.
He turns and he stomps right out of the door.
She picks herself up and wipes off a tear
Next time I'll do better and then he will cheer.
SHARON ADAMS
This is an original poem written by me. Please do not copy without permission.
Exact numbers on domestic violence differ because this crime is underreported and the studies are relatively new. But they are close in all reports. Below you will find some statistics from various studies.
- Domestic violence is the single greatest cause of injury to women. Journal of the American Medical Association. also: WOMEN'S WORK, Liz Claiborn,Inc.
- Every 12-15 seconds a woman in this country is beaten by her current or former husband or intimate partner. Studies report a range of between two and four million women being abused annually. WOMEN'S WORK, Liz Claiborn, Inc.
- 60% of battered women are beaten while they are pregnant.WOMEN'S WORK Liz Claiborne, Inc.
- Women are seven times more likely than men to be victims of a violent assualt from a current or former intimate partner. U.S Department of Health and Human Services.
- 52% of female murder victims are killed by their partners. WOMEN'S WORK Liz Claiborne, Inc.
- Between 1,500 and 2,000 women are murdered each year by their current or former partners. FBI
- Domestic violence is the leading cause of emergency room visits by women
- 20% of all emergency room visits by women are the result of domestic violence and 75% of these women will have additional injuries requiring treatment within a year. Philadelphia Health Management Corporation, Medical College of Pennsylvania
- More than half of the women patients in emergency rooms report that they have been abused at Sometime in their lives. Journal of the American Medical Association citing a study conducted in five Denver Emergency facilities.
- 81% of women with a history of suicide attempts had experienced domestic violence at some point in their lives and that only 1/6 of the women studied had disclosed or were asked by health care workers if their injuries resulted from domestic violence. Journal of the American Medical Association citing a study conducted in five Denver emergency facilities.
- At least 45,000 women are battered in Philadelphia each year. District Attorney's Office
- Domestic violence is a major contributing factor to other problems, including child abuse and neglect, female alcoholism, homelesness, mental illness, and attempted suicide. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 1991
- As many as 2/3 of men who beat their wives also abuse their children. Stark and Fritcraft
- 81% of men who batter had fathers who abused their mothers. WOMEN'S WORK Liz Claiborne, Inc.
- 1/3 of all teenagers report having experienced violence in a dating relationship.
- Children raised in violent homes are 74% more likely to commit assualt. WOMEN'S WORK, Liz Claiborn, Inc.
- Although divorced and seperated women compose 7% of the population in the U.S., They account for 75% of all battered women and report being battered 14 times as often as women still living with their partners
- Of the 35 women on death row in 1993, almost half were there for the murder of an abusive partner. Ms., September/October, 1994
The women who find themselves in this type of relationship are good and loving women. They want to please their husbands and have a good marriage. They usually contribute all in the relationship and he is usually a control freak. It's very hard for the woman to leave because by the time she really believes he will hurt her she is so beaten down and unsure of herself, that she believes she deserves the punishment. They believe that if they do or be something different things will be ok. That doesn't happen.
If you are in this situation please reach out to someone immediately. Most sheriff departments and police precincts can help and can take you to a shelter if need be. Don't wait till its too late.
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