- A Conversation on Supposed Skills Under Development
Player A: Have you heard about the new skill OSI is working on?
Player B: ...
Player A: I heard about a sanity skill.
Player B: ??
Player A: yea the higher your skill the more sane you are. the lower the more likly you are to go do soemthing dumb like attack an NPC intown for no reason
Player B: under our control?
Player A: no,its another skill you need to get up unless you want to die everytime you find an NPC
Player B: ARG, I'm going insane even thinking about it!
- Poll Topic: What would you say if OSI deleted the monsters from the game?
- submitted by Jesper
- "UO is a wonderful study in psychology...on the other hand it's also scary to think that we have SO MANY potential mass murderers walking among us..." -by Waylan Wolf(LS)
- How do you tell that you're hooked to UO?
- You go to the grocery store and upon checking out, you greet the checkout girl with, "Hail Milady."
- In discussing a recent newspaper-reported murder case, you ask whether or not the police have caught the pk.
- More and more at lunchtime you have a craving for ham.
- You go to the bank to deposit money, and you almost put your keys in the envelope too.
submitted by So'landravin
In Reply to: How do I avoid getting hooked to UO?
Break your CD in two.
Message Thread from COB Crossroads:
From: The Learned Mage
Subject: Mark, Recall, Gate, Greater Heal, Energy Bolt, Firefield
All the spells in the game do fit in a Subject line.
Satisfied a little bet I had going...
Did I miss any...
In Reply to: Mark, Recall, Gate, Greater Heal, Energy Bolt, Firefield
Subject: U 4got Des Con Ekt, An Lag, T'ImW Arp, Pur Maf rez ..
Rub Bur Ban Dng,
Des Arm Miss,
Ehn Ter Up Tis,
Los Con Ect Un,
Aye Pee Nuk,
Lan Ah Tak,
Kli Ehn T'Kras-H,
Sur Vur Sid Lag,
Kli Ent Sid Lag,
For Got Too Des Arm,
Trem Blee Hand,
Har DRiv Krash,
P Art T Lin,
Cat Ahn Key Bord,
Kah Fee En Kb,
Pow Er Au Tag,
Isp Da Won,
Isp Biz Ei,
Dow Nlog N Ser Ver,
Au Ta Re Gents
Utility Problems: Girlfriend 1.0
Iím currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and Iíve been having some problems
lately. Iíve been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary
application, and all the GirlFriend releases Iíve tried have always conflicted with it. I hear
that DrinkingBuddies wonít crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is
turned off. But Iím embarrassed to say I canít find the switch to turn the sound off. I just
run them separately, and it works okay. GirlFriend also seems to have a problem
coexisting with my Golf program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing
incompatibility. I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I thought I might see
better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, I
consulted a friend who has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didnít
have enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and eventually it would require a Token Ring to
run properly. He was right - as soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself. Shortly
after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the
first time I used it, it gave me a virus anyway. I had to clean out my whole system and
shut down for a while. I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a
SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program. It worked okay for a while
until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system. I tried running GirlFriend 1.0
again with GirlFriend 4.0 still installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature I didnít know about
that automatically senses the presence of any other version of GirlFriend and
communicates with it in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both
versions. The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some problems. Like
all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in some obscure language I canít understand much
less reprogram. Frankly I think there is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather
than the desired functionality. Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you
usually have to use gold-plated contacts. And Iíve never liked how GirlFriend is totally
"object-oriented." A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to
GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of GirlFriend. He
discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you donít upgrade to Fiancťe
1.0. So he did, but soon after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as
a huge resource hog. It has taken up all his space, so he canít load anything else. One of
the primary reasons he decided to go with Wife 1.0 was because it came bundled with
FreeSexPlus. Well, it turns out the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes
prohibits access to FreeSexPlus, particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted to try. On top of
that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything.
Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw that has an automatic
pop-up feature he canít turn off. I told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he
heard if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney
files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.0 wonít install anyway because of
"Which is a more unstable program, AOL or UO?" -by Vlad the Impaler
"UO had a plot??? what was it? Let's quest to bilk our customers out of money?" -by Falcon
From an Imanewbie Comic:
You see A Thief Named Lord British attempting to steal $9.95 a month from you!
After being killed for the 3rd time in the bottom of Destard, this conversation is played out, and has been played out several times:
Nabber: Man this Game SUCKS! I Quit!
Rich: Oh come on the PK's left you your bone helm.
Nabber: nope this is it, I Quit!
Rich: Okay see ya here tomorrow?
Nabber: Yeah I guess.
submitted by Nabber
UO is a Government Experiment... Here is why:
|I know you have heard it before, but UO IS a government experiment. By testing just how
much bullshit we will take from the President of Origin, the government can gauge just
how much shit people will believe that comes out of Clintons mouth. Notice how Clinton
has been in one scandal after the next since UO came out? Every patch session, he
realizes he can squeeze in an affair or bombing of a third world country, because he
knows that if you will take OSI's bullshit, why not his... they are using you all as guinea
pigs! UO is terribly addictive, the only way to end all the madness is to impeach Clinton!
Or something... *umm* anyhow, I'm a bit light in the head now, due to an unidentified
artifical stimulant... or something... *clears throat* excuse me...
GM Jyrath of the Propaganda
I think I lose more hair everytime I play UO...
I logged in yesterday and did the usual. Flagged magery/resist. Then scribe 1 scroll and make 1
Zolthar: Well lookee here, I just went up .1 in alchemy!
You see Zolthar pull some of his hair out
Zolthar: AHHHH! Damn you! I just lost .1 magery! But I just flagged all my skills 5 secs ago?!?!?
Zolthar: Ok, I need some more coffee.
Questions to Ask Yourself When Deciding Whether or not to Continue Playing UO:
Do you prefer online and interactive play as opposed to solo gaming?
-If yes, then UO is for you.
Do you have a thick skin when dealing with people who are out to ruin your experience? -If yes, then
UO is for you.
Do you expect the game provider and the game to be perfect or close to? -If yes, then UO isn't for you.
Do you enjoy a game in which the rules and game mechanics constantly change? -If so, then UO is for you.
Do expect OSI to motivate your gameplay and create quests and things for you to do? -If yes, then UO isn't for
If OSI were a Pizza Company:
Ok gentlemen, we want to increase pepperoni pizza sales,
but we don't want to spend any more money on pepperoni,
so, your ideas please.
-Oh, oh! Let's do just five pepperoni per slice!
Sorry, still too many, next?
-OK, I got it! One pepperoni per slice!
Sorry, still too many, next?
-How about one pepperoni per pizza?
That's more like it, but we don't want any of
those darn pepperoni cluttering up the surface
of our beautiful pizza, so let's hide it under the
pizza, in the box.
This is great! We're going to sell more pepperoni
pizzas that ANYBODY!
submitted by Easy
Journal logs of a Newbie:
|Typical journal log of a newbie in Covetous:|
You see: a giant rat
You see: a slime
You see: a giant rat
You see: a giant rat
You see: a slime
You see: a slime
You see: a harpy [ed's note: trapped between rocks]
You see: rObInYoAzZ
You notice rObInYoAzZ attempting to steal a recall rune from you!
You see: MastaPimP
You see: iRoXu
You see: Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection is attacking you!
iRoXu is attacking you!
MastaPimP is attacking you!
|Typical journal log of a newbie at Hythloth:|
You see: Collector of Souls
You are dead
Ghost: Anyone Res?
Ghost: Anyone Gate
Top 10 Designer Dragon Crowdpleasers:
|10. Eyepatches! I wanna be a pirate.
9. Ferrets! Everyone wants a pet ferret.
8. Bigger breastesses for the women. Ally McBeal is NOT a role model.
7. Bagpipes! Just think of the failed attempt sounds!
6. Feather Plume Helmets! I wanna be a debutante.
5. Earplugs! See #7.
4. Cukoo Clocks! Just to be able to say, "Hey man! Don't mess with my Cukoo!"
3. Ukuleles! Yes, Tiny Tim lives on in UO!
2. Gambling Tables! I wanna run a casino. (Did I mention the breast thing?)
1. Togas! What UO party is complete without them?
The 3 Most Common Phrases Heard in UO:
|3. You're lucky this isnt my PK char.
1. DAMN OSI!
-submitted by Jesper and Catherine
"If assholes could fly, then UO would be an air traffic control center."
"I dont know if going to Detroit is such a hot idea.
There are real life pk's there and no guards to call.
You have to flag yourself as a criminal just to fit in."
Excerpt from the Exeter Book of Riddles:
|Wob is my name twisted about--
I'm a strange creature shaped for battle.
When I bend and the battle-sting snakes
Through my belly, I am primed to drive off
The death-stroke. When my lord and tormentor
Releases my limbs, I am long again,
As laced with slaughter, I spit out
The death-blend I swallowed before.
What whistles from my belly does not easily pass
And the man who seizes this sudden cup
Pays with his life for the long, last drink.
Unwound I will not obey any man;
Bound tight, I serve. Say what I am.
"To most people, UO is a Single Player Game, and the rest of us are just
highly sophisticated NPCs."
"Playing Ultima these days is like living in some kind of sanitarium for
the sociopathically insane,
only they all have large sharp weapons and the skill to use them."