A man and his dog were walking along a road.
The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly
occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered
dying, and that the dog had been dead for years.
He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall
along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble.
At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall
arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing
before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that
looked like mother of pearl, and the street that
led to the gate looked like pure gold.
He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got
closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out,
"Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some
ice water brought right up."
The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?"
the traveler asked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward
the road and continued the way he had been going.
After another long walk, and at the top of
another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led
through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.
There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw
a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there" The man pointed to a place that
couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."
"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.
"There should be a bowl by the pump."
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was
an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.
The traveler filled the bowl and took a long
drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward
the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.
"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.
"This is Heaven," was the answer.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said.
"The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and
pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No. I can see how you might think so,
but we're just happy that they screen out the folks
who'll leave their best friends behind."
Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes
to us without writing a word, maybe this could explain:
"When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch,
guess what you do -- you forward jokes.
When you have nothing to say, but still want to
keep contact, you forward jokes.
When you have something to say, but don't know what,
and don't know how, you forward jokes."
And to let you know that: you are still remembered,
you are still important, you are still loved, you are
still cared for, guess what you get? A forwarded joke from me.
So my friend, next time if you get a joke, don't think
that I have sent you just another joke,
but that I have thought of you today and wanted to send you a smile.
Back up to top
The Images of Mother
4 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE ~ Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 YEARS OF AGE ~ Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE ~ That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE ~ Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE ~ Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wish I could talk it over with Mom.
Back up to top
Ten Roses for You
@--->------ This Rose is for Friendship
@--->------ This Rose is for Love
@--->------ This Rose is for Money
@--->------ This Rose is for Happiness
@--->------ This Rose is for Popularity
@--->------ This Rose is for Knowledge
@--->------ This Rose is for Cuteness
@--->------ This Rose is for Family
@--->------ This Rose is for Honesty
@--->------ This Rose is for Long Life
Back up to top
Horoscope Test
Be totally honest and you'll be surprised.If you are honest this tells the truth it's pretty good. Write your answers on a piece of paper. And NO cheating!! The answers are at the bottom of the test.
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black,blue, green, yellow?
3. Your first initial.
4. Your month of birth.
5. Which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number.
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one)
Answers
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red - You are alert and you life is full of love.
Black - you are conservative and aggressive.
Green - your soul is relaxed and you are laid back
Blue - you are spontaneous, love kisses & affection from the ones you love.
Yellow- you are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.
3. If your initial is:
A-K-- you have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R-- You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom.
S-Z-- You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.
July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be to great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.
5. If you chose.....
Black: your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend that completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize this.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. Send this to this many people.
8. If you chose:
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laid back person.
9. If you chose:
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
10. This wish will come true only if you send this to five people in one hour.
Back up to top
911 Poem
Subject: This hasn't been broken since 9-11-01
This has been kept alive and moving since 9/11. In memory of all those who perished this morning; the passengers and the pilots on the United
Air and AA flights, the workers in the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, and all the innocent bystanders. Our prayers go out to the friends and families of the deceased.
IF I KNEW
If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear.
Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or
"It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.
Send this to at least 10 people to show your support.
PLEASE DON'T BREAK IT!!!!!!
Back up to top
Un-named Poem
Her hair was up in a ponytail
Her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
And she couldn't wait to go.
But her mommy tried to tell her,
That she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
If she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid;
She knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
Of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried,
For her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
She tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school,
Eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never see
A dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the wall in back,
For everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
Anxious in their seats.
One by one the teacher called,
A student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
As seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name,
Every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
For a man who wasn't there.
"Where's her daddy at?"
She heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one,"
Another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back,
She heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
Too busy to waste his day."
The words did not offend her,
As she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
Who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
Slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
Came words incredibly unique.
"My Daddy couldn't be here,
Because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
Since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
And how much he loves me so.
He loved to tell me stories
He taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
And taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes,
And ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him,
I'm not standing here alone.
"Cause my daddy's always with me,
Even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
He'll forever be in my heart"
With that, her little hand reached up,
And lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
Beneath her favorite dress.
And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,
Her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
Who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love
Of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
Doing what was right.
And when she dropped her hand back down,
Staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
But its message clear and loud.
"I love my daddy very much,
He's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
But heaven's just too far.
You see he was a fireman
And died just this past year
When airplanes hit the towers
And taught Americans to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
It's like he never went away."
And then she closed her eyes,
And saw him there that day.
And to her mother's amazement,
She witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
All starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they saw before them,
Who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
They saw him at her side.
"I know you're with me Daddy,"
To the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
Of those once filled with doubt.
Not one in that room could explain it,
For each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
Was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
By the love of her shining bright star.
And given the gift of believing,
That heaven is never too far
They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but
then an entire life to forget them
Until Eternity.
Back up to top
THINGS TO NEVER SAY TO A COP...
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in
Texas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't
plugged in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me.
Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to
be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a
warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us
does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no
other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you
been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer
your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
Back up to top
Two-Way Mirrors
How to determine if a mirror is 2-way or not: (This is NOT a joke!) This is not to scare you, but to make you aware. This was passed on by a policewoman who travels all over the US and gives seminars and techniques for business women.
HOW TO DETECT A 2-WAY MIRROR: When we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc., how many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a 2-way mirror? (I.e., they can see you, but you can't see them.) There have been many cases of people installing 2-way mirrors in female changing rooms. It is very difficult to positively identify the surface by justlooking at it.
So, how do we determine any amount of certainty what
type of mirror we are looking at? Just conduct this simple test: Place the
tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and IF there is a GAP
between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is a
GENUINE mirror.
However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the image of your
nail, then BEWARE, FOR IT IS A 2-WAY MIRROR! So remember, every time you
see a mirror, do the "fingernail test." It doesn't cost you anything.
It is simple to do, and it might save you from getting
visually raped!"
Back up to top
The Perfect Man
Click here to see the perfect man!!
Back up to top
*~*friendship*~*
In kindergarten your idea of a good friend was the person who let you have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one.
In first grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.
In second grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully.
In third grade your idea of a good friend was the person who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours on the bus.
In fourth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who was willing to switch square dancing partners in gym so you wouldn't have to be stuck do-si-do-ing with Nasty Nick or Smelly Susan.
In fifth grade your idea of a friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.
In sixth grade your idea of a friend was the person who went up to Nick or Susan, your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn't have to be embarrassed.
In seventh grade your idea of a friend was the person who let you copy the social studies homework from the night before that you had.
In eighth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball but didn't laugh at you when you finished and broke out into tears.
In ninth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who would go to a party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't wind up being the only freshman there.
In tenth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who changed their schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch.
In eleventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you rides in their new car, convinced your parents that you shouldn't be grounded, consoled you when you broke up with Nick or Susan, and found you a date to the prom.
In twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pick out a college/university, assured you that you would get into that college/university, helped you deal with your parents who were having a hard time adjusting to the idea of
letting you go...
At graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying on the inside but managed the biggest smile one could give as they congratulated you.
The summer after twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you clean up the bottles from that party, helped you sneak out of the house when you just couldn't deal with your parents, assured you that now that you and Nick or you and
Susan were back together, you could make it through anything, helped you pack up for
university and just silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at 18 years of memories you were leaving behind, and finally on those last days of childhood, went out of their way to give you reassurance that you would make it in college as well as you had these past 18 years, and most importantly sent you off to college knowing you were loved.
Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of the two choices, holds your hand when you're scared, helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you, thinks of you at times when you are not there, reminds you of what
you have forgotten, helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out of their way to make time for you, helps you clear up your mistakes, helps you deal with pressure from others, smiles for you when they are sad, helps you become a better person, and most importantly loves you!
Pass on to those friends of the past, and those of the future...and those you have met along the way...[crying yet? oh there's more]
Thank you for being a friend. No matter where we go or who we become, never forget who helped us get there.
There's never a wrong time to pick up a phone or
send a message telling your friends how much you miss them or how
much you love them.
You know who you are, pass it on to someone who you want to remind.
So send this to all your friends and maybe those who aren't but just watch and see who sends it back.
If you love someone, tell them. Remember always to say what you mean. Never be afraid to express yourself. Take this opportunity to tell someone what they mean to you. Seize the day and have no regrets. Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today and are what it's all about anyway. Pass this along to your friends. Let it make a difference in your day and theirs.
The difference between expressing love and having regrets is that the regrets may stay around forever.
Within 1 hour you must send it to other people. Within five days you will have a miraculous occurrence in your relationships. You will find new love or have an old love rekindled. If you do not send it, you will have once again passed up the opportunity to do
something loving and beautiful and continue the trend that gives you problems in
your relationships. If you've received this it is because someone cares for you and it means there is probably at least someone for whom you care.
If you're too busy to take the few minutes that it would take right now to forward this to ten people, would it be the first time you didn't or that little thing that would make a difference in your relationships? [oh the guilt!] And the better you'll get at reaching out to those you care about.
Here's the deal: Forward this letter to at least 10 different people; within 1 hour of receiving it.
People who care for you and that warm glowy feeling that comes from loving others.
KEEP YOUR FRIENDSHIPS .....
Back up to top
Send email to shannonl@rocketmail.com
