Jaded Madness

There is a question I keep asking myself.
“Do I really love you?”
And I come up with the same answer every time.
“I don’t know.”

  And then I simply shake my head and go on,
As if it wasn’t a problem to begin with.
But it lingers in the back of my mind.
That nagging doubt.

  I know your not one of many words,
Or even actions.
But couldn’t you give me a little sign?
Something to tell me which way to go?

  Laughing at myself I know you would never,
It would only make life simpler.
And heaven forbid that ever happening.
Please don’t do something out of character on my account.

  Yet I know you know of my hunger, my love?
But still you do nothing, not a word comes from your mouth.
I silently yearn to know you like no other.
I care not if you are truly mad.

  Your eyes cast a spell around me,
Begging for more.
Needing you to calm my burning fire within.
To drown me in you blueish green eyes.

  Your beautiful white hair reminds me on snow,
And it fits you well.
Your cold, unloving, and so distant.
But you see I have been here before.

  Loving a man so cold and uncaring,
A man that would not love me back.
It’s a silly notion I know, but love in it’s self is serious.

  Perhaps I am the one mad?
Or is it desperation on my part?
The need to feel love, drives me insane.
So insane I believe that there might be a chance.

  I lay at your side at night wishing, hoping, wanting you.
The man that once held my heart is nothing more than a
Flash of memory.
Replaced the your heated gaze.
Your passion full kisses.

  So please if I am insane,
Or dreaming, or even dead.
Please, please don’t tell my heart.
~^*^~

I tried to make this for Midori Natari Himura’s story, White Tiger, Jade Concubine So please don’t tell my heart it doesn’t fit, for surely this I already know.