~~Thoughts~~

By: Angel


I sit here in my black little box, and wonder do you think of me??? The bigger question is, what do I think of myself? Or is that important at all???

Do you ever stop to think about me? Cause I always think of you......or do I always think of myself? Things never work out for me, or is I that never work out for things?

You always wanted someone perfect, didn't you? I am and never have been perfect. I guess it just took you awhile to realize that? It seemed that you stay longer than you wanted?

Was that for me, or because you felt sorry me? Or was you ashamed of being with me? Me being so imperfect as I am.

Do you realize that I just sat back, sat back and waited for you to leave me? Cause people always leave what they don't want, and it would seem as if you don't need or want me anymore?

No one ever wants to keep trash, it belongs else where. Not with some one as perfect as you. Trash, that's what I am.

My flaw's will be my murder, odd I never thought about taking my own life. But I suppose that life has it's own path to follow? Oddly enough I don't want to die, not with out telling you...........

I want to tell you, the version of my truth. Truth such an ugly word, when it comes to you.

To tell you the truth, I don't think I really ever loved you either? I think I thought that maybe you could help me find something I lost a long time ago? Maybe I saw that something inside of you? Or a way back to it? If that could be?

How dose that sound to you? Think I am crazy yet? But crazy or not I need to come to terms with this. But I don't know how, with out your help. Dose that make me weak? I think so, but I don't care any more. No one else dose.

The pain never go's away, and the blackness comes even closer to my soul. Soon the won't be nothing left of the poor thing that is called my soul. Do I even have one, a soul?

A soul makes a person feel, but yet I feel nothing. A soul enjoy's life, in rather I do not. Instead I wait for it's end.

Oh, it would seem as if I have lost track of my truth of you. You were once I great friend, then time came and aged us.

I grew up to be such a follower, to where you are a leader. But yet you do not show yourself to all. As a follower I try to get attention any where I can get it, but you shun away from it. Why? Why is life so cruel to a perfect person? Or is it that I don't understand where you come from?

I mean you are so perfect but yet you seem lost with out me to follow you to parts unknown? I use to hold your hand and follow you in every step you took, but you grew up, away from me.

Do you still think of me, maybe when your alone? Or maybe in your dreams? Or maybe when you see a little blonde haired girl playing so carefree?

Do you see me when you look into the mirror, or do you see the now beautiful redhead that you are? Do you see light blue eyes, or sad green one's? Do you remember who is who?

Dose the blue belong to you or me? Or dose it matter? I sit back and continue to wonder if you ever think about us??

I will continue to sit here and wait, I will wait until you come looking for me. And I know you will, cause you will need me when you wish to return the days of old.

When you deicide to live again, when you realize that I have not left you. But it was you who left me in the first place, you will come back. And I will be waiting, waiting to be with you again, if that is you wish?

If not then I will wait a bit longer, for I know that I am somewhere deep inside of you. And no matter how hard you try to ingore it, I am here for you.

All you have to do is maybe play a little game, or color a pretty picture. Cause the moment you start living again, I can be free. Free to be me.


Copy Rights belong to Angel