While
religion is a wonderful thing, it can also be quite
humorous!
This is a work-in-progress page, but I hope
you
enjoy what is completed so far.
Father
Patrick replied,
"No,
we cannot have services for an
animal
in the church, but there's a
Baptist
Church down the road and maybe
for
a donation they'll do something for
the
animal.
Muldoon
said "I'll go right now.
Do
you think $50,000 is
enough
to donate for the service?"
Father
Patrick grabbed the dog and replied,
"Why
didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?"
The
pastor will preach his farewell message,
after
which the choir will sing,
"Break
Forth into Joy."
A
songfest was hell at the Methodist
church
Wednesday.
Due
to the preacher's illness, Wednesday's
healing
service will be discontinued until
further
notice.
The
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles,
and
other items to be recycled.
Proceeds
will be used to cripple children.
Ladies
Bible Study will be held Thursday morning
at
10. All ladies are invited to
lunch
in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
Evening Massage - 6 PM
The
pastor would appreciate if the ladies of the
congregation
would lend him their electric girdles
for
pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
The
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet
Thursday
at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
Ushers will eat latecomers.
The
third verse of Blessed Assurance will
be
sung without musical accomplishment.
For
those of you who have children
and
don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
The
Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly,
much
to the delight of the audience.
Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
Remember
in prayer the many who are sick of our
church
and community.
The
eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's
Hamlet
in the church basement Friday @ 7 pm.
The
congregation is invited to attend this teagedy.
The
concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success.
Special
thanks are due to the minister's daughter
who
labored the whole evening at the piano, which as
usual
fell upon her.
Twenty-two
members were present at the church meeting
held
at the home of Mrs. Hatfield and Mrs. Lewis last
evening.
Mrs. Hatfield and Mrs Lewis sang a duet,
"
The Lord Knows Why. "
Thursday
night-Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication
to
follow.
The
rosebud on the altar this morning is to
announce
the birth of David Alan
Belzer,
the sin of Rev and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
Wednesday,
the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet.
Mrs.
Jones will sing "Put Me In My Little Bed"
accompanied
by the pastor.
The
service will close with "Little Drops of Water."
One
of the ladies will start and the rest of the
congregation
will join in.
Next
Sunday, a special collection will be
taken
to defray the cost of the new
carpet.
All those wishing to do something
on
the new carpet will come forward
and
get a piece of paper.
The
ladies of the church have cast off clothing
of
every kind and they may be seen in the
church
basement Friday.
A
bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening
in
the church hall. Music will follow.
At
the evening service tonight, the sermon
topic
will be "What is Hell?" Come
early
and listen to our choir practice.
Weight
Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the
First
Presbyterian Church. Please use
large
double door at the side entrance.
The
1996 Spring Council Retreat will be hell
May
10 and 11.
Pastor
is on vacation. Massages can be given
to
church secretary.
8
new choir robes are currently needed,
due
to the addition of several new
members
and to the deterioration of
some
older ones.
Mrs.
Johnson will be entering the hospital
this
week for testes.
The
Senior Choir invites any member of
the
congregation who enjoys sinning to
join
the choir.
Please
join us as we show our support for
Amy
and Alan who are preparing for
the
girth of their first child.
The
Lutheran Men's group will meet at
6
PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green
beans,
bread and dessert will be
served
for a nominal feel.
The
Associate Minister unveiled the church's
new
tithing campaign slogan last
Sunday:
"I Upped My Pledge-------Up Yours"